Me And My Snake

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
On Lying Down With Snakes

Shawn walks up to Rupert and says in a way that sounds pretty sincere, "How's Balboa doing?" "He's dead," Rupert reports flatly. Rupert then says something about using Balboa for bait, and goes off to bury him. Goes off to bury the snake, I'm saying. "He died last night?" Shawn says. "Yeah, he's gone," Rupert answers. "That's so sad," Shawn comes back. In an interview, Shawn talks about how much this clearly upset Rupert, who tends to get really attached to little things. Shawn's not sure why it matters quite that much to Rupert, but he understands that it did. I actually thought that although Shawn handles many situations with all the grace of your average elephant ballerina, he fielded this rather odd situation reasonably well. He was nice to Rupert, and he tried to be understanding even though Rupert's level of emotionalism over the snake didn't entirely make sense to him. I don't really understand being devastated over a snake you plucked out of the water the day before either but, like Shawn, I would have tried to say the right thing. Rupert wasn't there for the interview, so I don't really care that he told the interviewer he didn't get it. If he had told Rupert he didn't get it while Rupert was keening over the body, that would be an asshole move, but telling the interviewer in a way that seemed affectionate? Eh.

We swoop on over to Morgan, Camp of the Ex-Damned, where Osten is sitting on the beach whittling away at something with his machete. His pride, presumably. A pelican comes up and waddle-flaps its way toward Osten like it's checking him out. He eyes it with discomfort, the way he eyes everything that could kill him, like water and air and rice. Then the pelican sort of...quacks at Osten, although I don't know that it's technically called quacking when it's a pelican. Maybe it's puacking. This very comically gifted pelican then goes over and considers taking a bite out of the tribe's dangling flag. This catches the attention of Ryan-O, who wanders over and starts trying to dissuade the bird from its flag-eating. "You don't need to be doing that," he says to it, and then it turns around and faces him. "Oh, you want to challenge me?" Ryan-O says. He and the pelican stand there and look at each other for a minute. Ryan-O laughs, and then, to cement his place in my heart forever, he puts up his dukes. Oh, just kill me, why don't you. Go ahead. Show him cuddling a puppy. I wasn't using my heart anyway. Ryan-O even does a little boxer dance step. "Puack puack, you are adorable!" the pelican says, agreeing with me. Ryan-O laughs, and Tijuana watches from the shelter with a smile. "It's trying to get our flag," Ryan-O continues to chuckle as he tries to shoo the pelican away from the flag with a palm frond. "Move it," he says. "Hey, buddy, you're out of here." In an interview, Andrew explains that Ryan-O is kind of an animal lover, so he wound up sort of befriending this random pelican. Back on the beach, Ryan-O tells Andrew that the random pelican, no longer random, is named Pelican Pete. Hey, he used to play the drums for Pirate Pete and the Peg-Leg Parrots! Anyway, Pete and Ryan-O wander the beach a little bit. Ryan-O lies down in the shelter, and Pete follows him, watched closely by a wary Osten.

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