Survivor
Me And My Snake

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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On Lying Down With Snakes

Commercials. If you're not watching Joan of Arcadia just because it's on Friday nights, it would be a good time to discover TiVo, your VCR, or something of that sort. Or you can stay home and watch it. Not that I know anyone who does that. Everyone I know is, um, busy on Fridays.

Crabs scramble across the beach at Drake. Out in the water, little fishies and other critters swim around as merry pirate music plays in the background. The music even has merry clapping, as if all the pirates are gathered around to dance with their wenches. Just like at TWoP Towers. We even play jaunty music. I kick ass on the recorder. Anyway, the members of Drake review the "seamail," which suggests something having to do with a cannonball, and seems to involve a food reward. Trish interviews that they want to get their momentum back after losing three straight challenges. She says as much back on the beach to the tribe, including the rather hilarious remark that they're "totally united." Yeah, tell me another one, crazy lady. She certainly does have a crazy-lady hat on. That thing looks like an upside-down version of an unnecessarily large and kind of strangely-shaped vase that was once received at a wedding I attended. It was opened and shown to a polite but puzzled crowd of well-wishers, at which point someone in said crowd was heard to murmur, "And then I won Wimbledon."

We zoom in on the reward challenge, which I think is one of the most boring challenges of all time. Basically, each team has a cannon. Each team member takes turns aiming the cannon and firing, and if they hit the target, their team gets a point. Big whoop. Jeff tells them that the reward is a grill and some utensils, along with spices, lobsters, and steak. Ah, yes -- it's the obligatory Atkins Diet challenge. Also, of course, there is the opportunity to loot the booty, and -- if you're Morgan -- a chance at the map to your moldy treasure. Anyway, there's not much to say. Up first are Andrew and Jon. Andrew misses, as does Jon. Ryan-O and Sandra -- they both hit, by about a quarter-inch. Tijuana and Trish --Tijuana misses, Trish hits. Osten and Rupert -- they both hit, although Rupert makes it by about an eighth of an inch. Darrah and Shawn -- she hits, he misses. Christa and Andrew -- he misses, she hits. That does it, and Drake wins the reward. Incidentally, the members of Drake continued to act like arrogant asses in this challenge -- Morgan didn't applaud and hoot whenever Drake missed, but Drake did it to them. The Drakes are pretty much all asses at this point, seriously. And as usual, they have to yell "Drake! Drake! Drake!" at the end. Really kind of hating them.

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Survivor

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