Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1217 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Intestine Your Limits

Bruce returns from a sojourn into the woods, saying that he needs to lie down, because he couldn't "pass a deuce." Once again, Shane translates this into Poop-ese, in case "pass a deuce" was too subtle for you. Bruce points out that, of course, he can't eat, either. Shane interviews that Bruce has been in a ton of pain, so even Shane has apparently been able to notice someone else's feelings. Must be serious. And obvious. Bruce tells us that he's had a ton of injuries over his lifetime, which isn't unusual, I guess, given all that sketching we saw him do last week. Shane interviews that while Bruce can be dramatic, he's very confident that this is not being overdramatized -- the guy is hurting. We watch Bruce crawl into the shelter and lie down very miserably, saying that his back and stomach and everything just hurt like hell all the time, and that the pain's increasing rapidly. Shane, with his pants so low that we're seeing blurring in the front (ew, yeesh), tells Bruce that he has to get better, because the tribe needs him. Nothing like having your illness greeted with "Get well soon, so as not to disrupt my plans." Bruce writhes in misery on the ground in the shelter. "I'm just concerned, because it's escalating so fast," he says.

In a fairly tacky edit, Bruce's moaning takes us directly to the moaning of those on the massage tables. Cirie mutters that if she never wins another thing, she's glad she got this. She explains, as we watch the massage, that she "felt like Robin Leach." Now there is a reference the youngsters aren't going to catch. "Older Women" indeed. Chiclets explains that the guy who gave her massage was, frankly, "pretty rough." She says that she's never had a professional massage, but that she found it a little harsh, all things considered. As Cirie explains it, Chiclets specifically picked the guy she wound up with on the theory that he'd have strong hands, and indeed, he did. "Holy schnikeys," Chiclets says as the guy beats on her. I'm not sure how holy schnikeys are different from regular schnikeys, but I'm not sure I want anything to do with any schnikeys at all.

Later, the spa-goers gorge themselves on more food. Cirie says that today is almost a fresh start for her -- it's just that refreshing, probably in part because not being near Shane means that you don't get his waft of filth on you every time you pass by, thereby undoing the filth removal you just completed five minutes ago. Aras, around the table, says that the game pointed out how immature people are, and he specifically says that Courtney and Shane are really similar. "She has a serious crush on him, I think," Chiclets says, and Aras agrees. That's weird -- that wasn't my read of that dynamic at all, but I wouldn't deny it. "She just wants to be wanted," Aras says, which is kind of...I mean, it's true, but really, it's true of everyone, and it's just a matter of how they express it. Aras thinks that Courtney loves it when Shane fights with her, because she knows they'll get to make up later. Chiclets says that they must be having horrible arguments back at home, and Cirie notes that Bruce is stuck in the middle. "I'm going to be so not liked tomorrow," Cirie says. "I like you," Aras oozes, almost like he's flirting with her, which almost makes me a little queasy. He is gross. Chiclets says that she, too, loves Cirie. Not believable!

Survivor

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP