Medical Emergency

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Intestine Your Limits

Later, the spa-goers gorge themselves on more food. Cirie says that today is almost a fresh start for her -- it's just that refreshing, probably in part because not being near Shane means that you don't get his waft of filth on you every time you pass by, thereby undoing the filth removal you just completed five minutes ago. Aras, around the table, says that the game pointed out how immature people are, and he specifically says that Courtney and Shane are really similar. "She has a serious crush on him, I think," Chiclets says, and Aras agrees. That's weird -- that wasn't my read of that dynamic at all, but I wouldn't deny it. "She just wants to be wanted," Aras says, which is kind of...I mean, it's true, but really, it's true of everyone, and it's just a matter of how they express it. Aras thinks that Courtney loves it when Shane fights with her, because she knows they'll get to make up later. Chiclets says that they must be having horrible arguments back at home, and Cirie notes that Bruce is stuck in the middle. "I'm going to be so not liked tomorrow," Cirie says. "I like you," Aras oozes, almost like he's flirting with her, which almost makes me a little queasy. He is gross. Chiclets says that she, too, loves Cirie. Not believable!

Night 25, Gitanos. Bruce is moaning and groaning in misery, and it gets worse whenever he tries to move. This is the least hilarious night-vision footage ever! Courtney comes over and crouches next to him and touches his back. She then says, "Could I sing you a song? Would that help?" "No," he says. But she does it anyway. And as soon as she starts to sing, he says, "Don't." She's very well-intentioned and everything, but she really needs to figure out that not all really ill people want every kind of comfort you might want. Courtney explains to us that Bruce's pains are increasing, so the medics were called in. Right after the singing! Coincidence? As they wait for the medical staff, Bruce tells Courtney that he doesn't want to quit; he wants to feel better. Fortunately, she does not choose this moment for a rousing chorus of "Put On A Happy Face."

And here, in their boat, come the members of the Survivor medical staff. An Aussie doctor comes in to check on Bruce, and asks him where the pain is. Bruce can barely talk, really. The medic says that he's got to check Bruce out first, which he does. As soon as the doctor goes to press on Bruce's abdomen, Bruce gives a sharp, anguished yelp of pain and begs the doctor not to do that. Yelps of pain that keep the doctor from asking whether what he's doing hurts you at all are generally regarded as a bad sign, I think. The doctor tells Bruce that the pain is simply too much for him to stay out there anymore. The doc hooks him up to an IV, and then there's this moment where he gives Bruce a sort of inhaler thing, telling him to breathe into it, but when Bruce holds it up to his mouth, his hand starts to wildly shake back and forth. That may be some sort of a convulsion, I think, and it's very freaky. Bruce just doesn't have that hand under control. Courtney sticks her head in to ask if it's getting any better, and the doctor says, "Not really." Thanks for asking, though! Now, it's time to stop messing around and go and get the stretcher.

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