Medical Emergency

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Intestine Your Limits

Here comes the boat carrying the spa visitors back to Gitanos. They all walk up the beach to camp. "We lost a member," Courtney says. "Bruce went home?" Aras asks. Courtney confirms that he did. And, as noted by an EEFP, I do believe that Courtney has stolen Bruce's sketch book, which was his luxury item. Jesus. Anyway, she explains that he was taken out, totally sick, the boat came...they don't know whether he's still in the game, or what. "But you guys had a great time, I'm sure," Courtney says angrily, as if it's their fault that Bruce got sick. Aras interviews about learning, when he got back, that Bruce was gone, Courtney was still pissed off about the challenge, and Shane had gone all feral, looking like he hadn't eaten or washed himself in years. Which, it is implied, is unusual in one of those respects at least, though I can't imagine which.

Shane and Aras have a talk, in which Shane makes it clear how upset he is about what he "learned" from what went on in the challenge. Shane's exact words are "I learned a lot about yesterday. And I'm gonna set myself sail accordingly, to whatever I gotta do. And I hope you guys had a good time." He means this to be foreboding, but it mostly makes me want to say "[sic]" a lot. That's what I gotta do, and I'm gonna set myself sail accordingly. Elsewhere, Cirie and Chiclets observe this conversation with concern. "This was not the challenge to win, I'll tell you that one," Cirie mutters. Shane tells Aras, "I am not with Cirie at all. I didn't know that Cirie and [Chiclets]..." Aras cuts him off, promising him that they're still good, the two of them and Cirie. Aras promises that Cirie will come to Shane and talk to him about it. "I am disappointed in her in a big way, and I am not going out before [Chiclets]," Shane spits. "I have put Cirie on my back, all three hundred pounds of her, I put her on my fucking back, you and I both have. It was wrong yesterday." Blah blah blah. Nothing like a fat joke to show that your complaints are all about substance.

For her part, Chiclets can't understand why Shane is being such a baby if he ever had mind-broadening experiences like playing on a high-school sports team, where you learn that you don't necessarily get your own way every single time. "He's so selfish," Chiclets observes. And she's right, but of course, it's easy to make that argument from inside an herbal wrap.

Shane tells Aras that he no longer cares about anyone but himself, and that now everybody is "in big trouble." That's right, people -- the era of Shane's selflessness and dedication to others is at an end. He goes on: "If you and Cirie don't make me believe that it's absolutely the three of us, I'm turning the whole game." Aras interviews that he was trying to avoid getting into some big thing with Shane, given that Shane was just gassing on about his insecurity as far as where he is with his alliance. "The last thing I need is Shane on the loose really changing this game up," Aras says with exasperation. "So just let him say his piece. We'll calm him down, we'll gain his trust, and hopefully, Cirie will peace it with him, and we'll be all good." In other words, "First, I have to pacify Shane. Then, I have to start thinking about how I'm going to spend what I am sure will be my million dollars."

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