Last time on Survivor, Miss Alli kicked it as guest recapper. Many, many thanks to her on behalf of myself and all the readers. No thanks to her on behalf of spewed-upon keyboards everywhere.
Also last time on Survivor, Deena was "alpha female top dog" at Jaburu after scripture-wielding Joanna was voted out. Shawna bleated her dismay that no one cared about her flagging health. Deena told us that she didn't care about Shawna's flagging health. As the youngest members of their respective tribes, Dave and Jenna spent an evening together, and Jenna gave up all of Jaburu's secrets while Dave gave up all of Tambaqui's ages and professions. In the morning, Peachy revealed that they would be responsible for the redivision of the S12. Christy, HeiDDi, and Jeanne headed off to Tambaqui, where Jeanne sentenced herself to an early ejection from the game by professing to feeling "awesome" about the new tribe. Meanwhile, Alex, Rob, and Matthew joined Jaburu, where Shawna "dug" Alex, leading Deena to believe that Shawna was not as interested in "the chick thing" as she suddenly was in the "Alex thing." Or maybe in "Alex's thing," more precisely. Jaburu won immunity, and HeiDDi scrunched up her faced in one of the myriad unattractive ways she's prone to before siding with the men and voting Jeanne out of the Amazon. Eleven are left; who will be voted out tonight?
It's Night 15, and Tambaqui go about their night-vision business. Christy expresses shock over Jeanne's ejection because she considered Jeanne one of the tribe's strongest members. Christy's not mad at HeiDDi, but she needs an answer. Roger slow-talks -- in a way that would be offensive if Christy wasn't deaf -- that the answer is "very clear": Jeanne brought assets to Tambaqui that were already embodied by Butch. Meanwhile, Christy and HeiDDi brought different assets -- he cites HeiDDi's "strength" and Christy's enthusiasm and determination. Even if the part about Christy were true, she should discount Roger's argument based entirely on his untrue flattery of HeiDDi. Christy buys it all anyway, though. Dave, however, does not, and tells us in an interview that Roger's explanation was completely different than the reason they initially decided to vote off Jeanne. Rocket scientist Dave, by the way, has a new nickname: Davey Rockett. I don't know how I missed that for the first five weeks. Roger tells the group that they need to move forward as a new tribe because there's no guaranteed merger ahead, and HeiDDi adds that they need to work their asses off. Davey Rockett earnestly tells us that they voted Jeanne off because she was Jaburu's next target. HeiDDi explains that she decided to turn on the women's alliance because otherwise Tambaqui would not have felt like a team. Christy tells the group that she'd thought she was the weak one, and chokes up a little as she adds, "So I'm really glad you see something in me!" The men insist that they're glad to have her, and restate that they are indeed a new team. Davey Rockett points out that tomorrow's a new day, and the tribe heads off to bed.