Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A
The Sweet Taste Of Crow

Jon tells Sandra that he would rather keep her than Lill or Darrah, going into the final three. "Offer the final three," she says, "Swear it on your grandma." He does. And then he does some more. He says she knows very well that he and Burton aren't going to turn on each other, but that they need a third person, and he wants her. "That's final three," he says. She again makes him swear on his grandmother, and he does it again. Meanwhile, Burton is working on Lill, asking whether she's willing to vote out Darrah. Lill reluctantly says that if Burton thinks that's what they should do, she'll go along with it. Jon, meanwhile, tells Sandra that he and Burton want her to vote out Darrah if she doesn't win immunity, and Lill if she does. Jon then dramatically tells Sandra that he wants her promise that she'll stick with him and Burton, and that there's only one promise that's adequate. He wants her to swear on her two kids -- and he wants to see her hands while she's doing it. As she explains somewhat disbelievingly in an interview, Jon apparently was afraid she would cross her fingers. As she correctly says with a laugh, "How dumb is that?" Sandra obligingly shows her hands to Jon and swears on her kids that she's with Jon and Burton to the final three. Sandra apparently doesn't actually believe that you will kill people by swearing on their lives. Imagine that. What I love about that is that based on what he said about Dead Old Granny Fairplay, Jon doesn't believe it either -- but he's sure Sandra does. That's what's so funny. Every single thing that these guys do wrong in this episode happens because they assume everyone else is stupider than they are. Anyway, in her interview, Sandra explains that, in her head, what she was saying was, "I swear on my kids that I'm going to screw you and Burton." Aw, I love it when people admit that they talk to themselves inside their heads. It makes me feel so much less alone.

Drunken cameramen swoop across the water and land at the next immunity challenge. It's set out in the water, and Jeff welcomes the five remaining stragglers. He takes the Supreme Cutlass from Darrah. "I need this back...back to back it's been on your...back," he says. Something about Darrah certainly does make Jeff think about backs. The immunity challenge, as it turns out, is one of those that's very hard to explain without using schematic diagrams and scale models, but I'll do my best. Basically, you have to use your canteen to put water into a narrow tube so that a float rises to the top. The float has a key attached, and the key unlocks a plank that's locked in a vertical position, and when you unlock it, you can drop it down and walk across it to the next one. You do this for a whole series of planks, until you reach a flag at the end of the course. You take the flag and walk back across all the planks to the starting line, and then you are the big winner.

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