Survivor
Mutiny

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
The Sweet Taste Of Crow

Burton votes for Lill. "Lill, you're not someone I'd want to go up against in the final two, so your time has come." I hate it when they say it that way. "Your time has come." As if the universe has preordained it. You don't have to get all "it is written" about it. Just vote. Darrah votes. Sandra votes. Jon votes for Lill. "I'm hardcore! I'm hardcore!" he chants in a high-pitched, "girly" voice. "You're nice," he adds. "Have a nice day." Wow, he sure is clever. I think any guy who can come up with "Have a nice day" should expect a long career in show business. Lill votes.

Jeff reads the votes. He starts with the two for Lill. Heh. Then one for Burton. Burton and Jon don't flinch too much at this. Another one for Burton. They flinch a little more noticeably at this. Final vote? Burton. For the second time, the tribe has spoken, you arrogant piece of crap. Snuff! Jon looks a little ill, and quite thwarted. A quick shot of the jury box reveals Ryan-O, Rupert, and Christa knocking fists in celebration that Burton has been sent home. Heh. Yeah, I don't like any of them all that much, but I hear them on that one. Sandra looks over at them and grins. She looks so happy she can barely keep from jumping up and dancing around. Jeff pronounces it another surprise vote, and then he sends them home. Damn, that was good. And as they file out, I do believe you can also see Darrah exchange a look of love with the jury members. I'm telling you, Jon had better hope like hell that Lill stays around, because he has less than no shot against either Sandra or Darrah.

So here's my quick breakdown: Lill-Sandra would go to Sandra, probably unanimously. Lill-Darrah would go to Darrah, quite possibly also unanimously. Lill-Jon would go to Lill, six-to-Burton. Jon-Sandra would go to Sandra, six-to-Burton. Jon-Darrah would go to Darrah, six-to-Burton. Sandra-Darrah is by far the hardest to call. I'd call it for Darrah, Ryan-O-T-Lill-Jon-Burton to Christa-Rupert. On the other hand, my opinion has really no value at all, because I would have bet everything I had against Jenna walking away with such a huge win over Matthew. Whatever.

Burton's parting words are seriously the funniest thing in the entire episode: "It's been an amazing experience to have been voted out and given the opportunity to come back in. Of the four left, I wish Jon the best, and I hope he wins. Lill? I hope you can live with yourself. We had an alliance. You broke it, um, big as Texas, so...I hope you can live with that." You voted for her, too, you idiot. Now, note that in later interviews, Burton has claimed that he was told earlier that Lill had turned on him, and that was what he was talking about. It's ridiculous, though, because he also claims that there was nothing wrong with not taking Lill to the final two for the simple reason that you'd logically never take someone so far that it disadvantaged you. Well, that's all Lill did, too. She stopped hanging with Burton when it appeared that something else might be more beneficial to her. There just isn't any way for Burton to spin that remark that doesn't make him a delusional dumb-ass. After all, there are basically two kinds of alliances. First, there is the "I would never vote against you, ever" kind -- Paschal and Neleh, say, or Colby and Tina. Then, there is the "let's work together as long as it continues to be mutually beneficial" kind. In the second kind, you're both planning to leave eventually, so you've got no call to bitch just because you stop being useful to the other person before they stop being useful to you. That's just tough luck, and -- in this case -- excruciatingly poor play, in that if Burton read the writing on the wall, he could have downplayed the alliance with Jon and given Lill hope about getting to the final two. What was it about sub-alliances? Oh, right. Don't give away your sub-alliance to the rest of your alliance. Learn it, live it, love it. And send me part of the million if you use it to win.

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