Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A
The Sweet Taste Of Crow

In an interview, Sandra has to backtrack and note that she has decided not to be a complete whiny-ass baby and sabotage the camp, because she's starting to think that she might have a chance to stay longer. Because I kind of like her this week, I'm trying to forget this whole stupid storyline, because it makes her look like such a buffoon. Selective memory really is the key to enjoying reality shows.

Night falls on Panama City, where Burton and Jon are enjoying Hubris Night at the Sizzler. Jon asks Burton whether he thinks there's anything to be worried about with the women all back at camp together. Burton assures Jon that the two of them can "squash [the women's] plans pretty quickly." He goes on: "Not one of them has had a strategy yet in this game. I don't know why they'd start now." Here, the hilarious sarcastic music guy inserts an uproariously funny low, "uh-oh" sound that is best described as this: "Mwuuuuuuuuh." Jon agrees. Girls are silly. Jon interviews that he and Burton did discuss the possibility that the women were back at camp cooking up a three-person alliance, but they figured that when they got back, they'd be able to sway at least one of the three women to their side, so they think there's probably nothing to worry about. ["Which, at this point, I thought could be true, since Lill is so dumb and wishy-washy." -- Wing Chun] "We feel that we definitely have an intellectual advantage," Jon says. After providing some more whoring for GM about how awesome the Envoy is working out, Burton and Jon set up camp. (They're really just sleeping in the back seat of a van...shhhh, don't tell the guys in Marketing.) Burton says in an interview that the two of them decided they shouldn't talk about the Envoy when they got back to camp, because people might be a little resentful. Aaaand, it's another job for the Gee-Ya-Think-inator. If people get any more adept at stating the obvious, we'll burn out the motor. He and Jon talk more about how they ought to be able to convince Lill that now that they've gotten her this far, she shouldn't screw it up by going off with Sandra and Darrah. The problem, of course, is that Burton and Jon are no longer offering Lill anything. She can certainly get to third place with Darrah and Sandra, so if neither of the guys is going to cook up a plan to offer her final two, they're not offering her a thing. I never understand why people on this show persistently refuse to learn that if you want something, you at least have to make people believe that you're offering them something. Offer Lill final two, and she might be yours. Offer her zip, and it makes sense for her to take her chances with a pair that's not swearing eternal loyalty and wearing each other's high-school rings like Burton and Jon are. Burton recalls Lill's discomfort at the idea of voting off Darrah, and the fact that this made him and Jon a trifle nervous, so he's wary of Lill.

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