My Mom Is Going To Kill Me!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
My Mom Is Going To Kill Me!

The sun sets and rises, and now we're at Fei Long on Day 5, where Leslie is wandering down by the water and telling us that she's not feeling well, and she knows it's because she doesn't have her Bible. She's sure that if she had her Bible, she would feel fine. This is one of the hazards of a venerated item, I suppose: leave home without it, and you become more susceptible to illness. She's also sure that God has her on Survivor for a reason. I guess she means a reason other than "she applied," which tends to be my explanation for how she got on the show. But then, my feelings about whether God would intervene in the internal workings of Survivor are well known and do not bear repeating, nor do they bear debate via email, if you get my drift, which I really hope you do. Anyway (stand back while I am struck by lightning!), conveniently for Leslie, Jaime explains that her idea for giving away the idol clue is that she wants to give it to the weakest person. So she takes Leslie for a walk and gives her the clue, which Leslie (of course) interprets as God trying to help her win a million bucks. She is officially the first person to use the words, "The Lord gave me a gift by giving me the clue to the hidden immunity idol." Somehow, I picture God with His head in His hands, all, "Oh, Leslie."

When Leslie opens the clue, it starts with, "What seems to be hidden may sometimes be seen," which is all you should need of that clue to locate the immunity idol, because the rest doesn't say anything of value. This clue obviously means to me that the idol is in plain sight, and as soon as they cut back to Fei Long's camp for a shot of the flag and the archway the team walks under to enter camp, my eye falls on a decorative piece over the arch, and I think, "Oh. Immunity idol, right there." And then after Leslie talks about how she's going to find the darn thing, we get a meaningful push-in from the camera on, and then a cut to a close-up of...the decorative piece over the arch! I love it when I'm right. It happens occasionally.

When we come back, Leslie is pondering what to do with this new information and reaching precisely the wrong conclusion -- she wants to use it to seduce someone "witty" into an alliance with her. Which is stupid. What she needs to do is find the thing and hope to use it to save herself. Instead, she pulls Todd aside and tells him about the clue and what it says. In an interview, Todd's like, "The HELL?" Because...why? Why would you do that? The answer is: you would not, unless you were honestly not thinking. Todd says that with Leslie being sick, his plan is that maybe she'll wind up leaving, and if she does, he'll be the only person who knows about the idol, so that works for him. So he's cheering for her: ILL-NESS! ILL-NESS! ILL-NESS!

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