Nacho Momma

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Joanna: B | Grade It Now!
Throw Momma from the Tribe

Back at Rotu, Robert, Neleh, and Kathy discover utensils in the tree mail. Kathy evidently has never seen a fork before. Robert concludes from the clue that they'll be eating something, and Neleh doesn't care about that -- she's just happy not to have to use her hands anymore. Here's a choice snippet from the clue: "You might find it repulsive, but please don't feel queasy/ If the result is expulsive, the vote may be easy." I have no idea how I successfully completed an M.F.A. in poetry without ever having penned so delightful a couplet. Neleh makes a scared face, and about five minutes later Paschal yells, "It's a food challenge!" Because he's quick that way.

A huge wooden trough swarms with flies, which does not bode well for the S15, but most certainly bodes well for the viewing audience. Peachy has donned a cowboy hat for this scene to offset how pretty he looks in blue. He tells the tribes that today they'll have "a nice little feast": a "Marquesian delicacy" reserved for special guests and celebrations. Called "fafaru," the dish is made from a marinade of fish bones, crab legs, and lobster legs that have rotted in seawater for three days. The "stinkin' marinade" is then poured over slices of fish and baked in the sun for a couple of hours. Peachy points out that the S15 can tell even from a distance that "this stuff smells worse than a public toilet on a hot summer day." He then says that, "just to make it fun," they will bob for their fafaru. Actually, he says "we're gonna bob for fafaru," but he's no cockroach-eating Joe Rogan. Peachy then explains that they will each pick up the fafaru with their teeth, chew it up, and swallow. One member of Maraamu must go twice because that tribe is short a person, and obviously that will be Hunter because he's Hunter, after all.

Hunter and Zoe have a fairly uneventful run. There's minor gagging on Zoe's part, but that's about it. Patricia sucks her fafaru right back, causing Peachy to exclaim, "Wow! Mamma didn't waste any time!" Neleh has a good bit more trouble, because she only gets a fafaru scrap the first time, and has to bob again to get the rest. As she does, Peachy grins, "That's a juicy piece there." After much retching, Neleh gets it down. Paschal has a good run, and so does Sarah, who spits out a bunch of water, and then grins. Kathy and Vecepia are an even match, but Vecepia rises in estimation with her post-swallow "Walk Like an Egyptian" victory dance. Robert's mouth quivers and his cheeks bulge, but he manages to swallow while Sean looks like he got some fafaru stuck in his teeth. Gina and Tammy -- who may or may not be the same person -- are the next match-up, and Gina gets a big thick piece of fish, which dangles upward from her mouth for about thirty seconds while she tries to figure out how to swallow. Tammy's eyes are closed, because if she can't see it, maybe it's not really there. Both women ultimately succeed. Sarah calls Rob "Robby" as he approaches the trough, while other members of the tribe shout that it tastes like pizza, specifically pepperoni. Rob turns his cap in preparation for the bobbing. John gets a big hunk of fish on the first bob, but Rob comes up with only a scrap. John can barely manage to stick out his tongue afterward, but still swallows; meanwhile, Rob looks like he's about to blow as Peachy tells him, "To your left, Rob. Not on me." Zoe looks on in amazed disgust, while Rob's tribe continues to yell that he "swallow!" Do they think he hasn't yet figured out that key part of the challenge? Gross gagging sound effects and visuals continue and Sean coaches, "You [sic] tougher than that!" Peachy gives Rob -- who at this point has little white and pink fish flecks and sauce spewing upwards from his mouth -- five seconds to finish. Finally, Rob swallows. Now it's Hunter's second turn, alongside The Moppet this time, and someone in the background tells Hunter, "You know you love it!" which cracked me up. Hunter and The Moppet finish successfully, and Peachy says "hats off" to both tribes and completely misses the opportunity to doff his hat. He congratulates the S15 for downing "some nasty-smelling stuff," but continues that immunity is at stake so each tribe must pick a member from the opposing team to compete in a tiebreaker. The Moppet picks "our brother from Boston" from Maraamu, who is Rob. The members of Maraamu don't know Neleh's name -- although they could conceivably refer to her as "that backwards girl" without causing any offense -- so they just point her out.

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