Neanderthal Man

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sucking At Puzzles

Tribal council. Bobby Jon and Steph file in. They sit in front of Jeff. Just the two of them. He points out to them that this is a new thing, and asks what it was like. Steph claims that they were enjoying their time together (pfft), and says that they do think they're the strongest members of Ulong, so whoever wins can win, and that will be okay. Jeff asks whether it was weird at camp, and comments on the strange fact that it's like they're in an F2 situation, but we're only halfway done with the game. Bobby Jon says something incomprehensible about how much there is left to go. Jeff asks Bobby Jon whether there's been a highlight yet, and he says that catching the fish today was pretty good, actually. Jeff asks Steph how she feels about surviving. She says she's learned a lot, and Bobby Jon actually jumps in, rattling off all the stuff Steph is perfectly capable of doing for herself, including getting coconuts, getting crabs, starting fires... "She can do anything a man can do, I'll tell you that." Aw. I mean, it's totally retro that he thinks you have to point that out, but still. He's trying. Jeff asks Bobby Jon what he thinks is the key to survival, and Bobby Jon immediately says it's fire -- both the ability to make fire and the ability to keep fire going. Steph nods in agreement as Bobby Jon explains how they had to get the fire started. Asked if she thinks the same, Steph says that she's "frantic without fire, absolutely."

And now, on to the immunity challenge. Because I am awesome at spotting iron-skillet-like foreshadowing, it turns out that it is indeed a challenge requiring that they make fire. They will sit in front of identical little firepots, and they'll be given matches -- matches? -- and they'll have coconut husks and kindling. They'll each make a fire, and the first one to get their fire high enough to light the torch that's over their pile will win immunity. The other person? Will go home. You can kind of tell that Steph and Bobby Jon both initially think Bobby Jon will win.

Steph and Bobby Jon head over and sit in the little fire-making area. Ready? "Good luck," Steph mutters. And...go. They both stack up some coconut husks and kindling, and Bobby Jon lights his first. Then Steph lights hers. And then Steph blows on hers, and Bobby Jon totally doesn't blow on his, which I don't understand at all. In practically no time, Steph's fire flames up and lights the torch, so she's staying -- all by herself -- and Bobby Jon is going home. Aww. That really wasn't very suspenseful. I mean, flint, okay, but...twenty-five matches? It's like a food challenge where the food is Cheez-Its. Bobby Jon brings his torch over to Jeff. "Bobby Jon, the tribe definitely did not speak tonight," says Jeff. "Nonetheless, it's time for you to go." And he snuffs the torch, but what's so weird is that they totally tone down the "ohhhhhhh" that usually plays after the snuffing, and they don't play the usual exit music. It's like they're acknowledging that it's more like a disqualification than a vote-off, you know? They certainly do know their own formula. At any rate, Steph sits on the bench and looks gamely at Jeff, like, "So!" Jeff grins at her. "It's just me now!" she says in surprise. She tells him that when she left, the fire was stoked and her bed was made up, in case she had to come back by herself. And now, apparently, that's just what's going to happen. "We'll see what tomorrow brings," Jeff says, and he sends her back to camp. All by her lonesome, as no one on this show has ever been before. Yikes.

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