Now the soft, tinkly music of The Non-Sexual Bond Between Elder Man and Cute Young Female plays. As we see that Neleh has burnt something at camp, Paschal raves in a confessional about her "little pixie look." He pronounces her name "Neh-lee-a" and I'm not sure -- because Peachy later pronounces it the same way -- if my "Neh-leh" pronunciation is wrong. But really, if you're going to name your child for the backwards spelling of someone's name, the pronunciation should be phonetic; you shouldn't try to be all clever about it. Because backwards is backwards, extra syllable or not. Paschal continues telling us that Neleh's attitude and "vivaciousness" remind him of his two daughters back home. Now Neleh tells us that everyone in the tribe calls her "Sweetpea," and she doesn't know why. Has she never seen Popeye? All she needs is a flower pot on her head, and she's all set. Neleh thinks Paschal has the greatest heart of everyone on the team. He thinks she's got the greatest ass of everyone on the team, so they're even. We see a clip of him loading her arms up with wood and making sure she's okay with carrying it. Oh, that gentlemanly Paschal: making sure the ladies are okay before continuing to load them down with crap. Paschal then snuggles up to and kisses the Moppet and Sweetpea. In a confessional, Paschal is pleased as he tells us "Pappy" has become his nickname, and let me say again that all of these maternal and paternal nicknames really bug me. I mean, these people are gone for thirty-nine days: do they really need to create new mother and father figures for that short a period of time? I mean, I go thirty-nine days without seeing either of my parents; I don't suddenly start calling the middle-aged woman one cubicle down "Mommy." It seems like a deliberate construct for the show, and one I will choose to ignore. Neleh says Paschal is always smiling and "giving tons and tons of love." She says she'd definitely have the hardest time voting him off. Seriously, if I was on Survivor for a grand total of six days and someone started giving me "tons and tons of love," I'd slowly back away.
We're still at Rotu, but ominous music has set in, and clearly no further sprightly May-December Sweetpea-Pappy Non-Romance lies ahead. John is high-footing it into the water; we see a close-up of a black scrunchy/plunger thing, which turns out to be a sea urchin. Suddenly, John is cursing and pulling at his fingers and the camera closes up on his lips clearly saying "fuck." How'd they get away with that one? In a voice-over, he tells us that he landed right on top of a sea urchin and embedded about twelve needles into his fingers. He moans and complains, "Those suckers went in deep." He then adds, "I gotta go back in, and I gotta get somebody to pee on it." In a confessional, John tells us that urine is supposed to help ease the swelling and pain of a venomous sting. John has now reached the edge of Rotu's beach and stands in the surf yelling that he needs someone who has to pee. The way he's jumping and tiptoeing around, though, he looks more like the one who has to go. The tribe members look up from what they're doing and stare at him. He keeps yelling, "I need somebody who can pee on my hand!" and "Somebody who can pee! Somebody have to go to the bathroom?" Paschal darts off, as does Kathy. In a confessional, Kathy explains that Paschal tried to urinate on John's hand, but had a "performance anxiety thing," so it was just "good timing" that she had to go to the bathroom. Only Kathy could pat herself on the back for having the foresight to need to pee. As Kathy starts pulling down her pants, she says it's "gross, but"...John doesn't care. Suddenly, they're squatting together holding hands. Actually, they're only holding three hands, since one of John's hands is occupied by getting peed on by Kathy. And couldn't Kathy pee into something else -- like a bowl or jug -- and then pour it over John's hand? In any case, it looks like they're positioned so that Kathy's peeing ass is to the tribe, but I have some trouble accepting that, so let's blame it on the camera angle. Robert and Tammy look grossed-out and disbelieving. John tells us that Kathy's pee could have been peroxide as far as he was concerned, and that he "didn't even think of it being weird that she was squatting down and I had my hand between her legs." They finish up, and John is relieved. He tells us that the situation was "do what it takes to feel good, whatever." Which, by the way, is what all proponents of the golden shower claim, I'm sure. Kathy says she only got embarrassed when she was pulling up her pants. Maybe because she realized when doing so that she just mooned -- while peeing -- her entire tribe? She says it made her feel good because "at least I performed in the call of duty." And you know how I just said that only Kathy could congratulate herself for needing to pee? Well, certainly only Kathy could congratulate herself twice for doing so.









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