No Pain, No Gain

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | Grade It Now!
No, We're Never Gonna Survive, Unless We Get a Little Lazy

I really wish I'd counted scuttling crabs this season, but I'm too lazy to go back and start doing it now. A new aerial shot spans the island, and a voice mumbles in the background: for the second straight week, we're subjected to Sean's radio show. He says it was cold last night, and that it's now time for Hunter's weather forecast. Hunter beats on his chest while doing the weather, and I think this is supposed to represent chopper sounds, although honestly, I didn't get that at first. In a confessional, Vecepia tells us that the rain seemed almost to have flushed out yesterday's tension. During her segment of the radio show, Vecepia posits, "No Nos: are they in, or are they out?" She wants call-ins, and Rob "calls" to say that No Nos are 45,000 times worse than mosquitoes. He says there's no cure for them, and that they're the worst thing he's encountered in his life. In a confessional, he tells us, "A No No -- spelled n-o, n-o -- is a little bug that's a thousand times more vicious than a mosquito, and is about the size of a flea." He says you can't see a No No and you don't know when one bites you, but they itch like crazy. This is followed by a nasty shot of close-ups of various tribe members' No No-gnawed body parts. Hunter also "calls" the radio show and says that No Nos "suck" because he's never been bitten by mosquitoes before, but he's not immune to the No Nos. Vecepia then asks, "Tell me something. I hear a rumor that there's two kinds of No Nos: they got some black ones and they got some white ones." She wants to know which color No No Hunter thinks bit him. Hunter starts to say it's the black ones, and I'm guessing he's saying the black ones because No Nos are...well, black. Sean starts screeching in the background and Vecepia says the phones are lighting up. In a "call" Sean claims to be Al Sharpton and insists that it's "ludicrous" and a "conspiracy" that all the black No Nos are always getting incarcerated and in trouble with the law. Sean pretends to be joking and the tribe laughs, but I suspect Sean turns on a dime on the subject. If he wasn't too lazy to turn, that is.

Peachy suddenly motors up on a boat bearing what appear to be rolled-up yoga mats. He's wearing a tight blue shirt that brings out his ribs. Sarah was too busy this morning doing absolutely nothing to put on her bikini top properly, so she's mostly hanging out of it. Peachy, who suddenly thinks he's Chief Peachy, says "I come bearing supplies for your next challenge." It turns out they're not yoga mats, after all, but fifty stalks of bamboo and three hundred feet of rope. The tribe will need to construct a raft strong enough to carry all six tribe members as well as supplies they'll pick up along the way as part of the challenge. Peachy says they can use anything he gives them, and also anything they have in their camp or find on the island. He advises them not to "be skimpy" and to make a strong raft. I'm sure that admonition helped, because everyone's first instinct while constructing a raft is to make it "skimpy." Peachy tells the two crew members on the boat to dump the bamboo, and Maraamu half-heartedly ambles out into the surf to bring it in. Peachy motors off, and the tribe members just stand there in his wake with their hands on their hips, looking perplexedly at the bamboo and wondering if they're actually going to have to work, or if they can somehow manipulate Hunter and Gina into doing it all, and then blame them for it afterward.

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