Nothing Tastes Better Than Five Hundred Dollars

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
If You Give A Sugar A Cookie...

Probst heads off to get the votes. Sugar has not stopped laughing since Crystal's vote. She is a giggler. Probst returns with the urn and announces it's idol playing time. Randy stands up and the intense violin score kicks into high gear. Sugar puts on an amazing act of shaking her head and looking upset. The rest of the Fang alliance are not so convincing, as they are laughing their asses off. I wonder how much they knew about what was going to happen beforehand. Marcus and Charlie mug for the camera. Corinne looks very satisfied with herself and confident that the game has changed, and even winks at her alliance mates on the jury. Randy grins like the cat that ate the canary. Probst looks at the idol: "this is ... not a hidden immunity idol," he says, with perfect timing. Sugar finally explodes with laughter. Crystal is so happy she's crying. Randy is clearly shocked. Bob doesn't do a very good job looking surprised that the idol he gave Randy wasn't real. Marcus and Charlie on the jury are still smiling. Perhaps they do not realize that this means that Randy is going to be joining them at Ponderosa. Probst tosses the idol in the fire after all of Bob's hard work. And now it's time for the votes. Who cares? We all know the result: Randy goes HOME!!! HOME!!! INTO THE JURY BOX WITH YOU, BITCH! Wow. One of the greatest plans in this show's history went off without a hitch, and it was completely unnecessary to the game. In fact, it only served to take Randy's jury vote away from Sugar and possibly Bob if he realizes he was in on it. But Sugar hated Randy so much, and he was so freaking horrible to her and everyone else, that it was worth it to her to not only vote him out, but to do it in the most humiliating way possible. And it was fantastic.

And for Randy's exit speech, he says some stuff but I couldn't hear any of it because I was too busy imitating the "wah wah wah" he gave Crystal after she lost that reward challenge.

You can read more from Sara Morrison at, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at, especially if you want to commiserate with her about the fact that there's a new recap episode on freaking Thanksgiving.

Visit the Survivor forums and check out the bow Tubey's rocking in our holiday guide -- so fashionable!

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