Nothing Tastes Better Than Five Hundred Dollars

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
If You Give A Sugar A Cookie...

The tribe heads back to camp. Some food in Matty's belly has made him vocal, and he tells Corinne that she made the right decision on waiting to bid before thanking Sugar for the extra cookie, calling it a "righteous gift." Randy is furious, and says the cookie wasn't a gift from Sugar -- it was Randy's cookie. Mattie got two and a half cookies, and Randy didn't get any. "Sorry," Matty says, as if he didn't know. Of course he knew! He just wanted the extra cookie more than he cared. "Not your fault," Randy says. Except that it is. Matty probably should have offered the cookie back to Randy. Then again, that's what Corinne did and Randy said he didn't want it. And Matty is a white male, and Randy doesn't want to be mad at him when there's a woman around he can be angry with instead. Randy tells us that he left the auction "broke, full, half-drunk, and pissed off." Don't forget racist! "I had room for one big cookie," he says at camp. Again, if he had room for it, then why didn't he take Corinne's? Why did he offer his cookie to Sugar in the first place? None of this makes sense. "I'm gonna burn this cross down in the next day or so," he promises. Oh, sorry -- he said "house," not cross. But I'll bet he meant cross.

Meanwhile, Sugar is telling us that she's never seen a grown man get so angry over a chocolate chip cookie. Um, yeah, except that it's a chocolate chip cookie after a month of starving, which makes it a much bigger deal. And he sacrificed his own cookie so that you could have one, only to be slapped in the face. Randy's anger is understandable here. That doesn't make it any less fun to watch, though. Sugar says that she only took the cookie because Randy didn't want to give her one. He wanted to give everyone except her a cookie. Wait, what? He offered her a cookie like six times, and then he offered it again at the end! How did he not want her to have a cookie? This is the biggest scandal of the episode and I still don't completely understand what happened.

Matty finds Randy sitting with Corinne and asks if he's feeling better. Randy says he was treated "like a dog" at the auction today. "You set yourself up, Randy," Matty says; "you've gotta drop the attitude and just be cool." Too late for that now. Randy says he's not talking to anyone. Corinne finds herself in the good cop position and appeals to Matty to join their side and work with them while they can still force a tie vote and Matty might be able to better his position. Randy says Matty is on the outs with his alliance: "the final three in this game is Kenny, Susie, Ken, and Crystal." Hey -- that's four people! Oh wait, he just said Ken's name twice. 'Cause he's drunk. And full of carbs. Randy tells us that if Matty aligns with him, he'll have a shot at winning, except that I don't see how his chances are any better with one alliance than the other. "Fifth place ain't bad. It's nothing to be ashamed of," Randy says. Matty looks conflicted, but I think he's just having a hard time digesting all that burger and cookie.

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