Survivor
Nothing Tastes Better Than Five Hundred Dollars

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Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
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If You Give A Sugar A Cookie...

The tribe arrives back at camp. Everyone congratulates Ken, except for Randy, of course. He tells us that he needs Bob's idol because he's almost certain he's being voted out tonight. He repeats the plan that if the incredibly veiny (I am glad I don't have HDTV) Bob gives him the idol, then his alliance will be able to vote out whoever they want -- right now, it's looking like Susie. Randy talks to Corinne. They agree that it looks like the Fang alliance is gunning for Randy. I'll bet Randy thinks this is just proof that his master plan is working, when in reality that master plan doesn't make any sense. He says that if Bob "semi-offers" him the idol, he'll take it.

Sugar and Bob go to the woods for some plotting. Stock footage of an elephant watches as Bob, who's still wearing his buff bowtie even though he's otherwise topless, says he doesn't have the idol, although he doesn't think Sugar will believe him. She assures him that she does, because "I have ... " and I totally thought she was going to stupidly reveal that she had the idol. " -- Your best interests in mind," she finishes. Damn, she's good. She tells Bob that "it might behoove [him] to vote against Randy." Anyone who uses a word like "behoove" in casual conversation is not stupid. This isn't Paloma with her prouncing or Kelly who doesn't know what asset means. I can't believe these people don't realize that yet. Sugar says a vote against Randy could buy Bob some more time -- and if it doesn't, she has "another plan." This plan shall henceforth be known as The Greatest Plan Ever To Be Planned On Survivor. Randy's plan this episode -- to be even more of an asshole so the tribe would definitely vote him out -- was never in contention for that title. It didn't even make the Top Ten. Or even the Top Fifty ... Thousand. Sugar tells us that Randy is an ass, as if we didn't already know, and she "loath[es] him with every inch of [her] being." And she comes right out and says that Randy is a bigot. YES! It's about time someone said it already. Why did it take this long? I would have brought it up as soon as the producers allowed me to talk on the way back from that last Tribal Council. In the hut, Sugar ascertains that Bob hasn't told anyone else about his idol failure and then suggests that Bob give Randy his fake idol. "It would be hiLARious," she says. Yes. Yes it would. I love you, Sugar. Bob tells us that he's happy to go along with Sugar's joke, since if Randy goes home tonight, Bob stays in the game. Ah hahahahahaha!

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