Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 478 USERS: C+
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The Brady Punch

Back at Yasur, Da is using bamboo to make up a mattress cover of sorts for the hard shelter floor on which the women have been sleeping. The more the women talk about how wonderful it is and how much more comfortable they're going to be, the more I think about how hilarious it would be if they got kicked out of their camp next week. See how I'm getting sadistic? I've been watching these shows for too long. Ami wants Da to help them with fishing, but he looks a little bit dubious about that one. I'm not sure what they think they're going to fish with. Da does not seem to know either. Instead, later that night, we watch as Da brings the women torches, and takes them along the beach to hunt for crabs. They don't actually find any crabs, but Da explains to them how to wait for the right point in the tide. Scout seems to think that the day with Da was not only good as a learning experience, but somehow that it helped the team to recover from some of the ugliness that has plagued it in recent weeks. That's an awful lot of ugliness for one man to unknot in a short time, but he does seem like a very smart guy. Maybe mediation is the other thing he knows about, besides beds and coconut faces. Maybe he's the Dr. Phil of Vanuatu. Scout calls it "a wonderful day."

The sun sets and rises, and Ami and her sunny yellow dress are walking on the beach on the morning of Day 9. Da finds the women a crab. They thank him, and give him a bunch of affection I'm not sure he really wants, and they send him on his way. In The Annals of Uncomfortable Hugs, I think the one between Da and Twila will be recorded as one of the most noteworthy. Eliza interviews that she was amazed at how "attached" they became to Da in such a short time. It's remarkable what happens when a guy makes it possible for you not to starve, beat the crap out of yourself with your own bed frame, or die of dehydration, white-tongued and bug-eyed. Oh, and he shows you where the candy is. I'd be attached to him, too. As Da leaves, we are all reduced to barfing as the women insist on singing him off. You can almost see the guy with a little cartoon bubble over his head, and in the bubble, you can see the words, "What did I do to deserve that? Weren't the beds comfortable?" Furthermore, there are a lot of good songs in the world. This is not one of them, at least as presented by these women. I realize many good songs are not public domain and thus not show-appropriate, but still. For some reason, after Da is gone, Ami and Twila are off to the side, hugging. I think the singing made Twila cry. Or else she's crying because she's blind, having been exposed to Lisa's unnaturally white teeth. Da paddles off into oblivion. Thank you, Da. I certainly wish the people who are actually playing the game talked as little as you do.

Survivor

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