Survivor
Now That’s A Reward

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The Brady Punch

Previously on Mia Culpa: after Eliza switched her vote to Dolly, it was time for a talk among the Y-ettes about where they stood. Specifically, Mia demanded to know whether Eliza would continue to be as faithful to her as she'd been to Eliza during their six days of enduring friendship. Eliza insisted that she was true blue, but the rest of the Y-ettes saw red over her unannounced switcheroo. Lisa proclaimed that she had "a backup plan." And not just for flotation in case of a water landing. (Hotcha!) Rory believed that, as a grown-ass man, he was not obligated to take orders from Sarge. Specifically, he held, in the great tradition of John Stuart Mill, the conviction that the taking of craps should be at the discretion of every individual, and should not be interfered with by the state except for the purposes of self-protection. Twila and Mia had a knock-down snarl-out because Mia resented anyone's pointing out...I mean, "arguing" that she didn't do her share of the hard work. Twila threatened to whip the scrawny bitch's ass. Viewers everywhere put down their cross-stitching and handheld electronic football games and sent the kids out of the room in case that happened. The immunity challenge brought news that each tribe would be losing a member. The only immunity available was an individual one, and it went to John. He also "won" the opportunity to go and visit with the women and share his immunity with one of them when it was her time at tribal council. While this might have made for a good dirty fanfic, it turned out to be just another example of a lot of people yapping about nothing, and barely had any sex at all, unless you count Eliza's sad demonstration of how you can sometimes bore a guy right out of the room, even if your mouth never stops moving. In the end, after figuring out all of the women's alliances, John chose to share immunity with Ami, who he knew wasn't being voted off anyway. The sounds of derisive clucking echoed off the cliffs of Vanuatu as a nation of viewers realized that he was foregoing an opportunity to stir up shit. That's no way to play the game, John. At tribal council, the men continued their crusade against the pretty boys and eliminated JP, much to the consternation of the ever-less-sweaty female fan base. When the women showed up for their tribal council, it turned out that Lisa really did have a backup plan, and that fortunately for the rest of us, it was to go along with the elimination of Mia. There are fourteen people left. That number will be reduced by at least one by the end of this episode. I don't suppose they'd consider a triple elimination. Because if you get this thing moving, we could wrap it up before Halloween.

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