Survivor
Now That's A Reward

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The Brady Punch

Around the fire, a restless Brady stares at Rory. John is elsewhere looking equally unhappy, and he explains to us in an interview that he's bummed out about the way the tribe is going. Specifically, all of the guys who, as he puts it, "have great personalities and are good athletes" have been sent home, and he doesn't understand why you would "let fat dudes run the show." It's amazing how John can sort of have a point at the beginning, and then act like such a prick that you don't want to agree with him at the end. I mean, think of where the world would be without fat dudes. There'd be no Essence of Emeril and no Lord of the Rings movies. Nobody wants that. As Brady and John walk in the jungle, they discuss the puzzling fact that the other guys are setting themselves up to lose challenges. They seem not to understand that the guys only have to worry about losing team challenges for a few more weeks, after which it's going to be a good thing, not a bad thing, to have the young jocks sitting at home on the couch. Everyone has seen the immunity monsters, and nobody wants to go to the end with the next Colby, because the next Colby might not be such a freaking sap. John continues the not getting it in an interview in which he says that he has no idea why the other guys think this plan will work. I wonder if it's because it's working right now. I mean, I'm speculating, but it seems like that could be one reason. The best part of this sequence is when Brady shakes the tree from which they're gathering coconuts so hard that he shakes one down and it conks him clean on the head. All of a sudden, the FBI guy is a cartoon. A really, really hot cartoon. (And now, this page is going to get awesome Google hits.)

Back at camp, Brady admits that as long as the alliance of five remains intact, there isn't very much that he can do. Like hapless Survivors of yore, he has decided that his only chance to stick around is to rely on bringing fish to the masses. This was the part where I was sure we were going to get a visit from Rupert. You can only imagine how horrifying this was to me, considering that I have barely recovered from his last appearance. Or, should I say, appearances? Let's just not talk about it anymore; I'll wind up with spittle in the corner of my mouth and my eyes bulging out of my head. At any rate, Brady hopes that the other guys will like him better if he's catching fish. So he and his knee-length blue swim trunks go wandering into the ocean, hoping for the best. Brady says in an interview that the fishing may change the minds of just enough people to keep him alive. We watch him in the usual Survivor-style adventure montage, in which he attempts to catch fish and humiliates himself by catching ones so tiny they can only be enjoyed as appetizers, and then only by very small people who aren't hungry. It's amazing how when I first saw Travis's Bob Barker shirt, I thought it was very cute. Now, I have seen it enough, and every time it is in view, it makes me kind of want to punch him in the face. That's very common, I find, with ironic clothing. "Look, I'm wearing a Mr. T. sweatshirt!" "[Thwap.]"

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Survivor

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