Now Who's In Charge Here?!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Requiem For A Queen Bee

The next day, there are fish, there is sun...there is happiness all around. Ami, Chris, and Eliza walk back into camp, looking notably cleaner than everyone else. Ami hugs Julie, saying, "Hi, pretty." Hurl. Julie goes on to note that it was especially nice to have Chris clean, because Chris usually doesn't smell so good. I doubt that any of them smells like baby powder right now, so Julie probably shouldn't get too pleased with herself. Scout even hugs Eliza, smelling her hair and asking how the reward was. Eliza pronounces it "fun." When Eliza sees Twila, she calls out, "Hey, T," and Twila smiles, almost shyly. Twila interviews that she suspects Ami worked pretty hard at turning Eliza from the plan. "I am very worried about that," Twila says. "Ami is so pissed off at me and Scout, no telling what all she'd do."

In the shelter, Eliza and Ami pluck each other's eyebrows, and...I would certainly file that under Least Welcome Developments of the New Season, the communal eyebrow plucking. Scout says she's going off to fetch wood, but Ami says that she and Julie and Eliza can't help -- they have to stay behind, because they're waiting for a pot to cool off. "It'll take all three of us, probably, to pour it," says Julie (I believe). "Yeah," someone else says. "Definitely take all three." So Scout -- at sixty years old, not walking well at all, and not having just had a reward, unlike two of these fuckwits under the shelter, goes off by herself to get wood, while they sit there and giggle at her. So when Ami next gets high-horsing about how there are just certain things you do because you're such a good person, ask her about letting a pretty obviously injured Scout limp off alone to get wood for the camp. Nobody ever said you had to be nice, but it would be nice if Ami would spend her last days at camp perfecting something other than hypocrisy. Scout interviews that having them shirk the work that needs to be done around camp is pretty irritating. "Ami is a control freak," Scout says. "She likes to control her world and everyone in it." I'm no Scout fan, but...right on, rancher.

Later, as Ami and Julie and Eliza continue to socialize, Ami tells them that Scout is obviously just jealous of Ami. They all agree that this is certainly the explanation. Ami says the same thing in an interview -- that Scout just doesn't like her because she's jealous, hinting that this is because Ami still has a hot body. It's not possible, of course, that Scout turned on Ami after Ami and Leann declared to Scout that they had no intention of taking her to F4. Later, Ami turns up her nose at the manioc stew, saying it's leftovers and she wants to cook some that's fresh -- and, presumably, throw away perfectly good food. Scout protests that they don't have all that much manioc, but Ami insists that she just got some and that they have plenty. Ami interviews that it's like Scout put cayenne pepper in her pants and asked her to dance. And right around here, you start to notice that it's not really Scout who's jealous. Scout is going to be in F4, and Ami knows she's probably not. Just like Twila, Scout has offended Ami by beating her when Ami doesn't think she should be beatable by such a person. It's very human, but it's a little funny watching her throw around such elaborate armchair psychology that makes so little sense. Ami tells us that she thinks Scout needs to see her name written down. And then she tells Chris that the thought of Scout in the top two "makes [her] sick." Yeah, I'll bet. Because she'll be looking at her from the jury. Chris says in an interview that the women are all ripping on each other, and that it's strategically perfect for him. "I don't even think they're looking at me," he says, and I agree. "I'm just sitting back and watching them shoot each other." True, that.

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