Now Who's In Charge Here?!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Requiem For A Queen Bee

And now, as Scout goes to pick up a blanket, Ami calls out to her from wherever she and her bitchy friends are gathered, "Get your own damn blanket, that's ours!" So now, Ami is basically showing off for her friends, exactly like the girl you knew in eighth grade who would holler loud insults at the least popular girl in your class just so her friends could sit back and chuckle at how cool she was. All she needs is a Trapper Keeper. Chris repeats in his interview that Ami needs to go home, because while they've knocked her down once, he doesn't at all assume she couldn't make a comeback if they aren't careful. If they let that happen, I am going to all of their houses with a newspaper and swatting each of them on the nose.

The sun goes down, and then it is the next day. Treemail comes with a little flat orange disc, and the tribe can't make enough sense of the bad poetry to guess at what it might be. Chris interviews that, so far, he hasn't been able to make any headway in physical challenges against the women, and that he badly wants immunity. "Immunity's the only thing that's going to make me safe," he says.

We head to the challenge, which is in a clearing in the woods. Jeff goes to get the immunity necklace from Ami. "I don't think it'll come off," she "jokes," yanking the necklace uselessly because she is so, so funny. Jeff just says, "Try," in this, "Yeah, hilarious, now give me the necklace" voice. Jeff explains that the immunity challenge will revolve around this giant table surface that's right in front of them. The surface has a map of Vanuatu, and they'll each have five pucks with their names on them. (They're about the size of the bottom of a glass, maybe.) You slide the puck across the map and try to get the puck to rest on an island. Touching the island is considered on the island for the purposes of the challenge. You can also knock people's pucks off an island. You can also, however, drop your puck into a "volcano," which is a depression a little bigger than a puck. If you can get in there, then you can't be knocked out, and you'll keep that point for sure. At the end of the game, the person with the most pucks touching any part of an island will win immunity.

First up is Chris. Miss. Twila, miss. Eliza, hit. Ami, hit. Julie banks off the side of the table into the volcano. Dude, that was awesome. She high-fives Chris on the way by. Scout misses, to close out the round. So Eliza, Ami, and Julie each have a point as we head into Round 2. Twila quickly gets in the hunt by hitting with her second puck. Eliza misses. Ami misses. Julie hits and is in the lead. Scout misses, and Ami and Julie have a little laugh at her expense, because old people are hilarious. Chris misses. The sound guy really goes nuts during this challenge, by the way, with gongs and bells and all kinds of stuff to signal that people are missing. I think I'm not the only one who's been bored for a number of weeks until recently. End of the second round, Julie has two, and Eliza, Ami, and Twila each have one. Eliza misses again. Ami misses again. Julie misses. Scout misses. Chris hits. Twila misses. Julie has two; everybody else has one except for Scout, who has zero. Ami opens the fourth round by hitting. Julie misses. Scout hits, finally. Chris knocks Julie off and puts himself on. (Pretty good.) Twila knocks herself on. Eliza not only misses, but knocks off the only one she had. Let us hope that this is not a metaphor for some grander application of Eliza's shooting herself in the foot. So now, Chris has two, Ami has two, Twila has two, Scout and Julie each have one, and Eliza has none. So here we are, in the last round. Julie misses. Scout hits, so she's tied with Chris, Twila, and Ami with two. Chris steps up and...hits. Twila misses. Eliza misses, by a lot. Ami walks up to the board. She surveys the situation. She shoots, she...knocks herself off the board. HA HA HA! My favorite part? Yes, Ami will be finishing with fewer points that Scout or Twila. I don't want to say the volcano gods spit out Ami's pucks or anything, but you never know. So, Chris wins immunity, and the tribe is headed back to camp to see if they can hold it together long enough to get rid of Ami. Please, please, please, get rid of Ami, oh, won't you?

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