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God and Chickens Speak to Shambo
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Probst recaps the season thus far, just in case last week's recap of the season thus far wasn't enough for you. Then Aiga return to camp under the watchful eyes of chickens and hermit crabs. Shambo is beside herself with joy that Laura is gone, proclaiming "Medusa has been dethroned" and asking the others how awesome that is. They don't respond to her because they are aware of how important the social game is and how rubbing Galu's noses in this could be a bad idea. Traitor John interviews that he had no intention of going home early because he picked the wrong rock, and so switched his vote to Laura. As punishment, he now has to deal with Monica's whiny ass on the beach. He tells her that both he and Foa Foa made the "correct move," and interviews that Li'l Russell agreed to send someone from Foa Foa home next. He seems very confident of both of those facts. Monica interviews that while this is an individual game, it's also important to show "loyalty and integrity and respect for the people that you made promises to." How is it that Monica can sometimes be whiny, annoying, and stupid but other times you can see why she's a law student? She wants John to go home next for being a Judas to Galu. Too bad that because of John's vote-switch, Monica's alliance no longer has the power to control who goes next.

The next morning, treemail arrives and all are pleased to see it's time for the Survivor auction. Including me! I love it, despite the fact that it disappoints me almost every season. The tribe arrives at the auction block and Probst pretends that he's happy to see their smiles. Even though he isn't, because he hates them. He explains the rules: each contestant has $500, bidding is in $20 increments, and there is no sharing of money or food. With that, he places the first item on the table: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Natalie immediately bids $200 for it and wins because no one else wants to spend that much money that soon. Thanks for the boring auction, Natalie. It didn't even come with a glass of milk. But Natalie takes a bite out of it and says it was worth every penny. The next item is covered. Jaison, John, and Monica put in bids until Shambo goes over the top with $200. Dave Ball bids $220, most likely because he doesn't like Shambo. She bids $240 and wins it. And just what did she win? Well, it's Shambo, so ... it's not good. Probst happily says she has a "Survivor version of spaghetti" as he lifts the lid to reveal the leftover sea noodles and sea slug guts from the gross food challenge. "Oh, dude," Shambo says, which is the appropriate reaction. "Yum. Thank you," she adds, trying to put on a brave face. But wait, there's more! Probst adds a generous sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. "Good stuff," Shambo says; "does it have like nutritional starch value?" That is not the appropriate reaction. And then she puts a big forkful in her mouth, although I notice that it's most sea noodles and no sea slug guts.

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