Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | 647 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Oh, What a Tangled Web They Weave

Colleen pulls her bandana down over her hips and models the new "skirt" while doing a kooky little catwalk. Gervase says only models can wear skirts that short, which sounds like a diss to me. Sue looks on enviously and Sean says, "Not doin' that, Sue?" which is either really dumb, really sweet, or really mean. Colleen feels bad, because Kelly wants to join in the girl-on-girl fun but Rich is giving her shit about it. Sue bawls Kelly out for hanging out with "the chicks"; she's jealous that the Pagongers like Kelly better, and that her own hair is too short to Afro-puff. Richard tells us Kelly is acting "a little odd," and that he hopes her alliances haven't shifted. In a perfect tableau, Talking Rudy Doll turns to Idiot Seanvant and says, "All them girls are dressed the same." Idiot Seanvant says, "Yea, they're dressing like, uh, superheroes," and Talking Rudy Doll says, "Like who?" Idiot Seanvant repeats, "Superheroes?" with a question in his voice, like maybe that's a word he made up. Talking Rudy Doll says, "They were dancing around here a little while ago. It looked like the third grade." In a confessional he tells us, "I thought about a female alliance and watchin 'em the way they walk around hand in hand, uh, I even thought about lesbianism but, uh, maybe not, I don't know. And, uh, it could happen if they had any brains. But I don't think they got enough brains to do that." As Talking Rudy Doll spits this one out, we see a shot of the girls slathering sunscreen on each other, because wanting to protect one's skin is, of course, the first tip-off to aberrant gay and lesbian behavior. We then cut to Jenna in a cape, claiming she can move objects with her mind but only she can see them, and I'm sure she stole this from Mystery Men, and for the record, I rented that movie and did not pay seven dollars to see it in the theater. Kelly tells us she has two people in mind to vote for who are "kinda sucky to live with," as the camera zooms in on Richard and Sean. As the tribe readies to go to Tribal Council, Rudy puts on his necklace and positively beams. He adjusts it, looks down, and beams some more. I wish I could freeze this moment and use it as wallpaper on my computer. The three remaining Pagongers tell us that have Rich in their sights. Gervase says, "Get rid of Rich and we all starve together," which sounds like a pretty convincing reason NOT to vote for Rich if you ask me. Jenna says, "The fact that we're voting him off on his birthday, [is] not lost on me. We're giving him a birthday present!" As Colleen heads off to Tribal Council, she exclaims, "Let's do this, Brutus!" and I won't even try to make sense of that one.

Survivor

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