Survivor

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Idol hands

Probst gets the teams together again and asks who Tempura is sending to Exile. Taj interviews that the Exile Alliance is in place and has both idols, so they don't need to go to Exile this time. Brendan reads her mind and picks Joe. Now Joe has to pick someone on Tempura to join him. I think he should pick Douche for all his victory gloating, but he picks Erinn, much to Brendan's obvious relief. Joe interviews that he picked Erinn for strategic purposes, hoping he can convince her to flip to Jalapeño's side after the merge. Is that thing where you can switch tribes after Exile still in effect? Because if she picks the urn then she might be flipping to Jalapeño faster than Joe expected. And I don't know how disposed to aligning with Joe Erinn will be after he's taken her away from a food reward. And while Erinn is clearly the most likely candidate to betray Tempura, that's not why Joe picked her. He picked her because he's banking on his charm strategy to lure her in. In all this hubbub over Douche being a self-deluded narcissist of epic proportions, I guess I didn't realize that Joe thinks highly of himself for no good reason as well. And as disappointed as I am that Douche didn't get picked to go to Exile, I guess if I were in Joe's shoes, I wouldn't want to spend alone time with Douche either. As the tribes go their separate ways, J.T. gives us the post-challenge wrap-up that it sucks to lose this challenge, but his main concern is the immunity challenge.

Tempura enjoys their reward. I'd enjoy it too, if Douche weren't there. He insists on a high-five from Brendan, who looks like he's considering leaving Douche hanging before finally obliging him. Brendan then interviews that they got an "all-American picnic," although those beverages aren't looking all that all-American to me. Unless I just haven't been to the part of the country that sells MUND brand soda. Meanwhile, in true all-American style, Tyson says he's going to eat so much he pukes, and then eat some more. The tribemates eat their burgers, and Brendan says the first bite was "heaven." Debbie says their manners (if any of them had any to begin with, which looking at Tyson and Douche I kinda doubt) flew out the window as they ate their food like animals. Or like starving people. The contestants probably don't wait a half hour after eating before they swim in the waterfall/lagoon area. I sure do hope Douche doesn't get a cramp and drown or anything! They've been provided with floats and towels, and while Tyson and Brendan manage to jump in the water and stay on their rafts, the editors make sure we watch as Douche goes flying off of his and lands in the water face-first like an asshole. Debbie and Tyson do what appear to be very dangerous dives into the shallow water. Douche interviews that a "small part" of him feels bad for Erinn for missing this. Since he's pretty much all small parts, though, that's not saying much. The rest of him, he continues, is glad she isn't there because she's lucky to even still be in the game and he likes everyone else in Tempura better than her.

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Survivor

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