Survivor
Palau Reunion

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Grace Deferred

Jeff asks Tom about the importance of his relationships with Ian and Katie. Tom says that the bond between them formed the very first night out. Jeff points out that it's not often you see an alliance that can last that long. Tom agrees. Jeff fails to point out that Tom repaid Ian's thirty-five days of loyalty with the biggest explosion of passive-aggressive moralizing since Touched By An Angel. Because that would totally not fit the story Jeff is trying to tell here, people.

Jeff asks Katie about the heat she took in the final tribal council, and singles out Gregg for the way he attacked Katie when, in fact, Katie's strategy was what she said it was, and she played just as she said she did. Gregg is obviously aware that he came off like a total jackhole in that sequence and will never get a date again if it doesn't work out with Anonymous Jenn, so he sort of babbles something mealy-mouthed about how he forgot to care for his "personal relationships" or something, and then he says that for the thirty-three days he was there, Katie entertained him and so forth, and that they were friends, and that "she articulated her strategy very well." It's an incredibly watery apology, given that there isn't an "entertaining" person alive who doesn't know that being called "entertaining" is short for "I was laughing with you at least forty or forty-five percent of the time." Gregg claims to feel "horrible about it." And frankly, he should. Jeff throws Gregg some kind of redemption bone (Redemption Bone is totally the name of my first album), saying that Gregg had also said at one point that he used that tribal council to continue making the person "earn" the money. Gregg talks about how the game is "about being accountable for your actions" (barf), and then there's this disgusting nonsense about how you "pay the price to keep the game pure" (no, really!), and then he says that after he eviscerated Katie and called her pathetic in front of the entire group, he totally gave her a hug later. God, I have so fucking been there. I hate that guy. Take your hug and fuck off, you smug bastard. Feeling your pecs through your glistening shield of self-importance doesn't feel quite good enough to make up for your shit. GAH!

Jeff notes to Katie that she seemed shocked by the hate she faced with the jury, which Jeff thought was dumb, because it was obvious that some of them hated her. It's like a Probstian knot of insults that keeps going round and round -- "People hated you. Which you were stupid to be surprised by. Because it was obvious that people hated you. You're really stupid. I wonder if that's part of why people hated you in that way that you were so stupid to be surprised about. The other thing is that people hated you." Jeff notes Janu specifically on his list of people Katie couldn't have missed as members of her non-fan club. Katie says that she wasn't, in fact, surprised by the hate from Janu. She says, in fact, that she knew going in that she probably wouldn't answer whatever Janu asked her. So of course, Jeff detours into that for a moment, talking about how Katie made this dangerous assumption that she didn't have Janu's vote. He tries to get Janu to prove his point by saying she hadn't entirely made up her mind yet, but Janu steps on Jeff's mojo by instead admitting that Katie was right that there was no point in answering, because Katie had about as much chance of getting Janu's vote as she did of beating Tom in a dummy-dragging contest followed by a competitive beer guzzle. The audience laughs, because they feel for Jeff when he tries to do something that will be really cool and it doesn't work because the contestants aren't as interesting as he wishes they were.

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Survivor

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