Survivor
Palau Reunion

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Grace Deferred

Jeff now brings up the showdown at the sumo thing between Coby and James. Jeff reminds James of the way he complimented Coby so effusively, and then predicts that James's friends at work probably gave him a certain amount of crap. James points out that he's unemployed. No, really. In this season of warmth and tenderness, there is still a place for the down and out to run free. James says, though, that his old friends do indeed know about the showdown, and that when the ask him about it, he tells them "straight up" that Coby is one tough hairdresser. He admits that he originally planned to "whoop Coby," whom he figured would be "feminine," and thus ripe for a tail-whooping. But in the end, this steelworker learned that the only tail to be whooped was his own (tm World's Wildest Police Videos). "That boy, he's got some tail," James says. And then Coby raises the roof, which...you can really only raise the roof ironically now in my eyes, especially after I saw it done in the Mr. Show sketch where the talk show is out on the lifeboat (you'd have to see it...trust me). But Coby is being...disturbingly sincere. He loves the roof and he feels good about raising it. Jeff then gives James a chance to talk about how much he now appreciates his family, which James proceeds to do. Because what has become of James since the end of the season? Yes, it's true: James, too, has become a better person.

Now, Jeff goes over to Janu, talking about her "tough days" and her lying around camp, and her going off by herself on the island. It's not easy being the Garbo, you know. She rehashes how great that night of isolation was for her, like something out of Outward Bound, and how it gave her the power to...well, quit, apparently. Always one to take the pulse of the internet on his days off, Jeff asks Janu to clear up the matter of whether he coerced her into quitting, and Janu says no, he didn't. Having failed to learn the lesson that you never run a demonstration in court unless you know how it's going to turn out (also known as the O.J. Doesn't Actually Have To Try On The Gloves, Provided You Have Testimony That They Are His Size rule), Jeff asks whether anyone who was there thought he coerced her. Both Coby and A-Jenn begin to put up their hands, so Jeff ignores them and says as quickly as he can that as you can see, nobody who was there thinks he coerced her. It's kind of awesomely ballsy the way he just totally acts like they're not there. He doesn't see you if he doesn't want to. It's an imaginary world, after all. Jeff goes on to argue that if you're vulnerable to being told to quit, then you probably want to quit, so he couldn't have really coerced anyone anyway and so forth. Which is true, but it was really stupid to ask if anyone thought he coerced her if he wasn't ready for the answer -- or, really, if he didn't already know the answer. This entire exchange, about how he only invites you to quit if he can tell you want to anyway, causes Jeff to make use of the disturbing expression, "If I can smell it, I'm going to find it." Oh, Jeff.

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