Survivor
Palau Reunion

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Grace Deferred

Now, we discuss Ankle-Jeff and his decision to quit by asking to be voted out. Regular-Jeff asks why Ankle-Jeff should have left with an injury when, even as an injured guy, he could have stayed and at least helped the tribe somewhat. We immediately learn that Ankle-Jeff has been waiting to tell us for some time that people keep calling him "Coconut Boy," because he turned his ankle on a coconut. Get it? Do you? That's his big line for the reunion. He worked on it for weeks. He gets called "Coconut Boy." And his agent is accepting offers! Anyway, once he gets through passing along that information that doesn't even answer the stupid question he was asked, he says that the decision was about his strength and his limits, and he knew he was done. Jeff asks about how Bobby Jon saw Jeff at least chopping coconuts when Kim wasn't even doing anything at all. That's got to hurt Kim, hearing people be like, "Ankle-Jeff on his ass is worth two fully ambulatory Kims." Bobby Jon nods vigorously, looking every inch the lost member of the Brady Bunch, weirdly. The hair is trapped in the '70s, not that this affects how smoking hot he is, because it totally doesn't. It just makes him smoking hot a long time ago, back when I was a little girl. Jeff asks Bobby Jon if he would have left with an injury. "You'd have had to cut my head off and carry it in a five-gallon bucket," Bobby Jon says of what it would have taken for him to quit. Heh. But he doesn't really want to fault Ankle-Jeff -- he knows that Ankle-Jeff has had surgery on the eponymous ankle, so it's not like he was faking it. Jeff says he knows Ankle-Jeff really was hurt; he just wants people to have to "defend" quitting. And, really. If only Ankle-Jeff had quit out of stupidity and guilt, like Ian did, rather than because of a medical emergency, Probst wouldn't give him quite so much shit. In fact, it might turn out that this was a sign of having become a better person.

Jeff moves over to Ashlee, asking her about sort of semi-quitting her own self. In her bland, agreeable way, she blandly agrees that she was too soft for Survivor, ultimately. "I thought that I was tough," she says, "but no." It's fascinating when someone learns the opposite of the lesson everyone else did. "I learned I can do much less than I ever imagined was possible." She may not have become a better person, but I suppose she became more self-aware.

And now...you knew it was coming. We have to visit with Jonathan and Wanda. He's still hot, although he can stop working that giant spiky 1998 hair anytime now. And she still looks just like...herself. The lady you almost feel guilty about dreading, but you can't help it. I love them so much for not picking her. Not that I'm surprised they didn't. Jeff asks Jonathan what went wrong, and he talks about swimming from the boat to shore, which is not exactly what Jeff was getting at, but...all righty. Jeff points out that Angie is "waving [her] arms," and so he asks her what's up her skirt. Angie says that although he seems nice now, Jonathan wasn't nice on the island, and that's why he didn't get picked. He didn't bond with people enough, or something. "I think you kind of picked and choosed [sic] who you talked to," she accuses. Angie is the only person on the stage who is clearly angrier about high school than Coby. Jonathan says that with everybody running all over the place and twenty people to deal with, it was hard to "form a relationship with everybody in three days." Boy, I bet you didn't call this as the smackdown we'd be seeing, did you? Angie versus Jonathan! The rumble in...zzzzzzzz. Jeff calls a halt, because nobody cares. Not even Jonathan. Only Angie cares, and that's sad.

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