And when we come back, Jeff gives a shout-out to the band and the music guys who compose all the weekly overdramatic music. And God bless them, really, because otherwise, how would we know when things were tense? Certainly not from the expressions on about half of these blank-faced buffoons. Jeff then asks Anonymous Jenn for an update on herself and Gregg. She says that, on the island, they had "a great alliance" and "a good bond," and that they'll "let the dust settle after this whole thing and see what happens." Wow, that was informative. It's like the end of Dragnet, if it said, "Something happened to this defendant, but it's all still working itself out, and the chips will fall where they may." And how about Ankle-Jeff and Kim? Well, Kim says that they're "amazing friends," and that they "hang out and have fun." Hot! Leave it to Jeff Probst to get to the bottom of all the really hot sex gossip.
Now, Jeff tells the story of Willard deciding not to tell people he was an attorney. He told them he was a mailman, because people hate lawyers. Well, can you blame them? Willard says that he had been a mailman once upon a time, so it wasn't a total lie. Well, it was, but...anyway. It turns out that no one knew the truth except Caryn, who is also a lawyer. Willard says that lawyers can smell each other. That's never been my experience.
Unsurprisingly, Coby has managed to grab the spotlight for himself once again. He explains that, on the island, the sumo wrestling made him love himself, or something, and then he learned not to disrespect his own desire for a family, or something, and so he started looking into adoption, and then his pregnant cousin couldn't keep her baby, so she gave it to him. This is where I try to stifle the part of me that's like, "She gave the baby to Coby?," because it's so mean. But anyway, she did, she gave the baby to Coby, and he adopted the baby, and now he holds up the baby's picture. It's a cute baby, and it will probably wind up really righteously indignant about everything, so you should enjoy it now, while it's asleep. Then Jeff says that there's one more thing to tell. And what is it? The baby is a girl, and Coby has named the baby Janu. Aw! After one of the women he wanted to kick into the fire! That's so sweet. Coby and Janu hug. She's overwhelmed, in that it was really weird of him, but also nice. And really, if you're going to meet a showgirl and name your baby after her, you're doing pretty well if you get away with "Janu," I have to say. So all's well that ends well, you know?