This Is Your Clip Show
New Scene. Pirate music left over from Pearl Islands plays as Tina (that's her name, Tina!) finds a collection of oysters clinging to a particular cluster of rocks. "That thing has been embedded in there for millions of years, I think," she says, looking at a particular oyster. Millions of years? Literally? Do oysters live for millions of years? I'm not sure I would eat million-year-old seafood, to be completely honest. She is very happy to find that under the shell -- which has only been there for millions of years and thus can be freely disturbed -- there's a nice hunk of meat just waiting to be peeled off the rock. As she nibbles it, Tina interviews, "I love oysters," and then she makes a sort of Charo/MeganMullally growling noise. Because, I guess, oysters are sexy and it was fun being married to Xavier Cugat and who really cares about story or character when you can have cool guest stars? Tina reveals to us that she made the decision to keep all of the oyster-finding entirely to herself. She didn't tell anyone. I think Tina was kind of misunderstood, myself, although in fairness, I feel the same way about Charo.
Another New Scene. At the Old Dudes Camp, Bruce is unable to sleep, so he goes out onto the beach to fight a hundred invisible enemies. No, I'm serious, he does. This is part of his karate practice, and the best part is that Dan tries to comprehend what he's doing and winds up explaining it to Shane approximately like, "Uhhh...buh." Watching Very Pale Dan -- who cannot explain anything more ethnic than a peanut butter sandwich -- trying to explain martial arts to Shane...well, suffice it to say it's like a Martian talking to a fungo. As for Bruce's battle with invisible enemies, it's unfortunate how it instantly calls to mind a classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode, and even more unfortunate how much I can't keep myself from sitting in my living room thinking, "Well, I could fight a hundred guys, too, if they were invisible." For his part, Shane refers to the moves as Bruce's "Wang Chungs." Which is, like, racist and dorky and dated, all at the same time. However, in what is undoubtedly my favorite Shane interview moment of the season, he adds, "I'm cool with that. I like odd people." Usually, I do, too, although Shane is an outlier.