Survivor
Panama – Exile Island: A Closer Look

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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This Is Your Clip Show

Remember how, at first, Bruce seemed more useful than he was obnoxious? And remember how he was immediately sent to Exile Island again when his team lost the next challenge? Yeah, that was pretty funny.

While Bruce is gone, the tribe "enjoys" a tense New Scene in which President Beefcake argues that it was stupid to leave him out of a catching challenge when he had pointed out that he was a wide receiver. Chiclets somehow gets herself all wound up over the idea that, in order to win that spot, Beefcake needed to say more than that. And then she's slapping her palm like an angry PTA mom, explaining that people have to let the team know what they can do, or something. Beefcake retorts that Chiclets seemed to want to stand up on the beam for reasons of her own. Cirie interviews that this quickly degenerated on her non-functional team. "It's the reason why we're not winning," she says. It's not easy sucking. As President Beefcake explains that the team can't really expect him to chase a group of four people around to tell them everything, Shane haughtily says that Beefcake should admit that he's just unhappy because he's "on the outside." Beefcake accuses the team of acting like "seventh-grade girls," and in asking what that means, Shane refers to Bobby as "homey," apparently fairly determined to get himself killed by someone who is big enough to snap him in half without even using all ten fingers. Beefcake goes on to gripe about the negativity in the rest of the tribe and his tendency to stay away from everyone just in order to avoid it. Courtney thinks it would benefit Beefcake if he socialized with the tribe more, which is a stupid idea, because (1) it wouldn't; and (2) what fun would that be? Shane does his sensitive-guy act in an interview, saying that Bobby is feeling bad because he's on the outside of their awesome Alliance Of Four, which is, of course, going to hold together brilliantly and never make anyone grumpy except the people who are unlucky enough to be excluded from it. Shane looks almost like he has a little white hat on, like Wee Willie Winkie. Something about that comparison strikes me as instinctively apt.

Back around the fire, Aras reveals that he spent too many summers as a camp counselor when he tells everyone to let out all their negativity by yelling, and then they can all be happy. Shane is the only one who takes him up on it. There's a surprise. Even without the yelling, Aras goes ahead with his speech, which asserts that the game right now is a team game (not), and that the team needs to pull together (not). Aras, from his perch astride what he believes to be an unbeatable alliance, lectures in an interview that everyone else really ought to be more mature, because he's played lots of team sports, and he's never been on a team this bad. Of course, he probably wasn't on those teams with people from whom he intended to take away ultimate victory and ask them to smile and thank him. But, you know. Bygones!

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Survivor

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