Survivor
Panicked, Desperate, Thirsty As Hell

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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The Removal Of Rudy

After the commercials, it is Day 4 at Mogo Mogo. Hatch is yapping his flap (or flapping his yap, if you prefer, according to the communicative property of tribal crapola) about how he can't believe they got rid of Tina first. Lex describes it as a "shocker," and Hatch says he was just sure they'd get rid of Rudy first. Hatch now interviews about the Tina booting, opening: "Holy crap." He can say nothing except the obvious: "Biiiiig targets on the winners." He tries to act nonchalant, but he is completely...chalant. Or something. Lex tells the rest of the tribe that although the Tina ouster surprised him, he thinks it's cool, because it sets a tone of strategy and ruthlessness that he likes. "It's business this time," he says. Somewhere, a lizard yawns. That was a great shot. Who knew lizards yawned? Although having heard Hatch speechify again about how unconcerned he is about threats to himself, I have to say, I'm with the lizard.

Over at Chapera, Boston Rob says that he found the challenge the toughest of any he's ever done, "in any Survivor." Yeah..."any" of the, you know, one that he's done before. Amazon Rob, meanwhile, interviews that the news of Tina's departure made him enormously happy, first of all because he thinks Tina is "a big phony." Wow, discord in the Survivor family. That's going to be awkward at the wrap party. He says that furthermore, seeing the winners targeted is nifty with him from a self-interest standpoint. "Last time I checked," he says, "I didn't have a million dollars. Yet." A bird waggle-headedly stalks something on the beach, and Chapera starts in on building a fire. "Let's go, Tommy, first try," Boston Rob encourages. It doesn't happen on the first try. Alicia interviews that she, of course, knew exactly how to build the fire, but that Boston Rob and Big Tom were too macho to let her do it. It certainly is easy to say you know how to do something when you're not the one who actually has to do it. Furthermore, when Alicia says to Big Tom, "Can I try it?," he says she can, and gives her the stuff and doesn't seem to protest, so I'm not sure what she's grousing about. As she tries her perfectly right method of fire-starting that was completely obvious to her from the beginning, Big Tom mini-interviews with a grin that he's "gotta keep his mouth shut." He also comments -- mixing his metaphors extravagantly to suggest a workplace packed with both illegal discrimination and an overabundance of middle management -- that they have "maybe four or five bosses and one Indian." Apparently, Alicia doesn't instantly have luck with the fire either, so she probably ought to try the mouth-shutting strategy as well, given that her "I knew exactly how to do it" thing appears to be an exaggeration, at best. It looks like what ultimately happens is that Boston Rob, Amazon Rob, Alicia, and Amber all work on getting the fire going, but Alicia is the one of them most devoted to patiently lecturing everybody else about what to do. Understandably, Boston Rob interviews that Alicia spends too much time giving orders. "It's her nature, she's got a big mouth, she needs to learn to shut it." Not that Boston Rob could shut his mouth if there were a stream of bees flying into it, but he is right about Alicia, and she doesn't seem to have the ability to do it in an endearing way, as he does. The fire starts, whoever is responsible, so things are much happier immediately. "There'll be no more rubbing of sticks togethah," Boston Rob says.

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Survivor

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