Pearl Islands Reunion

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
More On Morons

Just to rub a little salt in any wound he may have been able to inflict on Lill with that little flight of fancy, Jeff asks the jury that would have been, in a Lill-Jon final, for a show of hands as to who would have voted for Lill in such a circumstance. Sandra raises her hand, as do Rupert, Christa, and Darrah. In fact, Rupert and Christa both mutter, "In a minute." That would be four votes, meaning that in theory, Lill gave up the million dollars by taking Sandra instead of Jon. Now, it's true that it's easy to say in retrospect, having seen the show, what you would do. Still, I think that, probably, those four people would in fact have voted that way, albeit while holding their noses a little. So I think Lill did probably unwittingly sacrifice the money.

And you know what else is interesting? That show of hands means that Tijuana is claiming she voted for Lill against Sandra but would have voted for Jon against Lill. Ew. What? Does that mean she would have voted for Jon against Sandra? I guess if she were going by maneuvering skill, that might hold, but...jeez, YUCK. The other people claiming they'd have voted for Jon in the fictional Lill-Jon scenario are Burton and Ryan-O...not surprising. Neither of those guys would ever own that they got beat by a middle-aged lady. In light of all these revelations, Jeff essentially asks Lill whether she feels stupid at all, and she shrugs it off, as is her only option. "I went the way my heart was," she says. "That's just Lill," she says, referring to herself in the third person, as she is wont to do, because that's a great way to endear yourself to people, provided they voted for Bob Dole. "That's not inside the game," she says, as lukewarm applause for her generosity of spirit begins. Some -- but not all -- of her tribemates applaud for her. Hey, what's it to them? They didn't lose a million bucks. Rupert leans forward and pats Lill on the back. Oh, what a relief. Thanks, Daddy!

Jeff moves on to the anxiously-awaited Ill-Lay Is A Little Utty-Nay segment, as he inquires about the fact that she seems to have taken "a beating out there, emotionally." Jeff tells Lill, as nicely as one can when one has set out to impugn the mental stability of a scoutmaster, that there were times when he thought she was coming unhinged. Though he says it a little more nicely than that, not mentioning that he himself was evidently afraid to get within fifty feet of her late in the game, lest he be swept into a maelstrom of emotion and sucked through a wormhole of wet sloppy kisses to his ultimate demise. Lill allows that Jeff has a point; she was beaten down by the experience, indeed. Not too much to say beyond that. Jeff points out, pretty much apropos of nothing, that in five of the seven seasons, the person who won the final immunity challenge hasn't won the ultimate prize. Five out of seven really isn't all that statistically significant, there, Jeff, but far be it from me to step on your line. They don't pay me to do math, after all.

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