Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 453 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Burton's Plan Is All Wet

We return to Christa, who for her part interviews that she doesn't get along with the Burton-Shawn-Michelle pod, which has apparently gotten quite tight and clique-ish. "I'd rather have them out of here," she says flatly. Of course, "flatly" is pretty much the only way Christa speaks, so don't make too much of it.

In one of the greater miscalculations I've seen in a while, Burton now spends a little of his free time harassing Rupert about his skirt, its possible propensity to display his butt crack, and so forth. "It's like high school," Rupert interviews. "The pretty-boy jock-ass idiots all gotta pick on me." Shawn adds some more needling about how "pretty" Rupert is, and it really does feel quite a lot like high school, actually. Trish -- quickly becoming one of my favorites in spite of the fact that I haven't heard much from her -- interviews that she's not sure why the Shawn-Burton-Michelle clique got so tight so quickly. She assumes that the guys just think they're too strong to get voted off, and that they hooked up with Michelle because she's cute: "I don't think that they realize that they alienated everybody else in the tribe." Ah, but they never do. That's how the pretty-boy jock-ass idiots wind up with no one to talk to at the reunion, which in turn is why if you head for the punch bowl at your next reunion, all you will find there are pretty-boy jock-ass idiots, standing around talking about the stock market. Just a little hint from me to you.

The sun beats down. Birds fly around in search of Tippi Hedren. We float in over the beach and then zoom abruptly toward the site of this week's reward challenge. The two teams take their positions on the mat, and Jeff "Earning The Right To Ditch My Old Nickname By Reaching New Heights Of Sarcasm And Bitchery" Probst welcomes them, pointing out the absence of Lill in case Drake missed it. In today's challenge, he explains, each team will be solving a jigsaw puzzle made of sixteen large pieces, eight of which are out underwater and eight of which are buried in the sand on the beach. One tribe member at a time will go retrieve a piece from either the sand or the water and bring it back, and then another tribe member can go. They can't start putting the puzzle together until they have all the pieces. And what is the reward this week? Well, in addition to another treasure-map section and the right to loot the opposing tribe's camp, the winning team will get an old-fashioned (i.e., non-electric) sewing machine and a bunch of material. For people who've now been in the same clothes for ten days (YIKES), that's a pretty big reward. I've got to think those clothes are about ready to rise up and revolt.

Survivor

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