Pick A Castaway…Any Castaway

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Burton's Plan Is All Wet

Anyway, Burton the Not-Exactly-A-Brain-Surgeon asks Rupert whether he can stand to throw a challenge. Rupert says he can, "to keep the strong together." Heh. Yeah, right. Rupert now interviews that when Burton said he wanted to sacrifice a team member, Rupert wanted to smack him for being a traitor. "If this were a pirate culture, he'd already be dead," Rupert growls through clenched teeth. Dude. It is not a pirate culture. It is a game. Morally, it's just Twister. Or Risk. I get the feeling Rupert's the kind of guy who would be like, "You sank my battleship!" and then would run over and punch you in the head. Sometimes, I think Rupert is a his rocker, actually. Anyway, back on night-vision, Burton emphasizes to Rupert the importance of getting rid of Christa. Rupert nods. Burton also asks him to keep it between the two of them. "As long as no one else knows, we can run the game," he says.

The next morning, Jon goes through a grotesque bit of non-comedy before opening the trunk containing what he is calling "seamail." I refuse to transcribe the non-comedy or the seamail, but the idea is that it's time for the immunity challenge. It sounds like it's got something to do with board games and going in the water. I'm trying to forget the entire thing as quickly as possible, because it involves Jon, and listening to Jon makes me feel like my ears are being chewed off by weasels. Michelle interviews that the group is considering throwing the challenge, and she says that her little group is ready to boot Christa.

Later, Rupert, Trish, and Christa work at the edge of the water, and he quietly explains to Trish how Burton approached him, and how he played along. "Burt's the first to go, in my mind," he says. He then interviews that his alliance, too, is willing to throw the challenge to "cut out a little bit of cancer" from the tribe, in the form of Burton. Rupert interviews that "throwing a challenge is the stoopidest thing that Drake could ever do," but that if they want to do it, he'll sit out the challenge and let them throw it. Oh, he also mentions that it is impossible that they would ever lose a challenge in which he participated, so if you needed any proof that his ego is right up there with Burton's, it's readily available. Truthfully, they're both pretty much self-important asses; Rupert's just more interesting and doesn't pluck his eyebrows.

We swoop over to the site of the immunity challenge, which is a floating game board made up of a web of beams. When they get there, Jeff takes the immunity idol and starts to explain the game. It's hard to follow, let alone put into words, but the idea is that each team member has to make it across the "board," periodically stopping to face off with members of the opposing team in which they balance on a beam and try to throw each other in the water. The person who gets thrown in has to go back to the beginning and start trying to cross again. There is, of course, a wacky pirate theme attached to this challenge, but it's even lamer than usual. It's really just about trying to throw each other in the water. First tribe to get everybody across gets immunity. Oh, and there's something else coming at the end of the challenge. Jeff will explain it later, but you may think of it in your head as the Improvised Punishment For Challenge-Throwing.

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