Survivor
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Burton's Plan Is All Wet

In quieter but equally noteworthy news of intra-Drake unrest, Sandra complains to Christa that Shawn and Burton make a big fuss about how they're always the first ones working, and Sandra maintains that this is not the case at all. Christa next notes in an interview that all the winning is "annoying" in a sense. It's not annoying in the way that listening to Christa talk is annoying -- in that it doesn't make me want to hum "Camptown Races" until it's over -- but I can see her point. You see, Christa has discovered that winning endlessly means that they can't get rid of anybody, and they "really want somebody to leave." It isn't clear at this point whether she's talking about a specific person or whether she just means that they're ready to start reducing the numbers and cutting out some of the more contentious personalities generally. This is followed by some kind of stupid conversation between Christa and Shawn about college, after which he interviews that Christa has issues with him and makes "little comments." I have to say, I like Christa better than Shawn, but she does appear here to be doing exactly the kind of quasi-casual interrogation about people's academic history that almost never signals anything but contempt, even if it is of the passive-aggressive variety. Asking if he went to college seems okay, but the way she specifically asks if he graduated sounds snotty. Anyway, Shawn menacingly smirks in an interview that what Christa says will soon be "coming back to get her." I totally bet that back at home, he's the scariest guy in the whole juice bar.

We return to Christa, who for her part interviews that she doesn't get along with the Burton-Shawn-Michelle pod, which has apparently gotten quite tight and clique-ish. "I'd rather have them out of here," she says flatly. Of course, "flatly" is pretty much the only way Christa speaks, so don't make too much of it.

In one of the greater miscalculations I've seen in a while, Burton now spends a little of his free time harassing Rupert about his skirt, its possible propensity to display his butt crack, and so forth. "It's like high school," Rupert interviews. "The pretty-boy jock-ass idiots all gotta pick on me." Shawn adds some more needling about how "pretty" Rupert is, and it really does feel quite a lot like high school, actually. Trish -- quickly becoming one of my favorites in spite of the fact that I haven't heard much from her -- interviews that she's not sure why the Shawn-Burton-Michelle clique got so tight so quickly. She assumes that the guys just think they're too strong to get voted off, and that they hooked up with Michelle because she's cute: "I don't think that they realize that they alienated everybody else in the tribe." Ah, but they never do. That's how the pretty-boy jock-ass idiots wind up with no one to talk to at the reunion, which in turn is why if you head for the punch bowl at your next reunion, all you will find there are pretty-boy jock-ass idiots, standing around talking about the stock market. Just a little hint from me to you.

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Survivor

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