Pick A Tribemate

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Fishing For Compliments

Previously on The Cheese Stands Alone: Colby was riding high at Mogo Mogo, and when his team dropped a combined reward/immunity challenge, he was fuming over the loss but downright giddy at the thought of getting rid of Jerri. Meanwhile, Kathy responded favorably to the sucking-up she received during a day with Chapera, in which she horned in on a share of a luxury reward she had no part in winning. Back at Mogo Mogo, Ethan apologized for playing not one but two substantial roles in dropping the challenge, but Colby's eye was on the prize of putting Jerri's ass on his wall right next to his biggest stuffed bison head. Unfortunately for him, Colby slightly miscalculated by not noticing that Lex had no desire to try to get to the end by clutching the tail of a Colby/Ethan powerhouse alliance, and he made an unexpected move and approached Jerri and Shii Ann to join him in voting out Colby instead of Jerri. When Shii Ann flipped a none-too-shiny mental coin that came up "whatever -- Colby, I guess," Colby was indeed banished from the game. Adios, Razor-Boy. May you live many years happy and stubbled, which is just the way I'll try to remember you.

Credits. All of a sudden, this show exhausts me. It's like the life has been sucked out of it with a Hoover. I'm surprised it's not affecting the tides. Is it over yet? Bleh.

We fade in on Mogo Mogo on Night 19, where a thunderstorm is in full swing. Kathy is returning in darkness from her Chapera adventure, noting that the team is still at tribal council. She remarks that rattling around by herself at camp is "depressing." She actually manages, while pondering the fact that she ate and partied all day and avoided tribal council, to feel sorry for herself, which is quite a remarkable feat. She bitches about the rain, bitches about the's charming, really. It makes me want to sit right down and befriend her. Not.

Later, as the fire clings to life, the rest of the tribe returns. Kathy voices over that she didn't get "hugs" when they came back. Gee, nitwit, this couldn't possibly be because they were tired and hungry and not totally focused on the importance of your recently pampered ass, could it? No. No, I'm sure it means they're just not a good tribe. She compares the non-huggers of Mogo Mogo unfavorably to the huggers over at Chapera, who happily hugged her the minute she joined them. She says that the mood about Colby's ouster was "very somber and sad." Apparently, Jerri is successfully fighting the urge to write "COLBY" in the wet sand with one toe just so that she can stomp all over it, wait for the water to wash the sand smooth, and write "JERRI RULZ HA HA HA" right over it. Believe it or not, it turns out that Colby left his Texas hat back at camp -- which is how you can tell he had no clue he was going to be voted out. It's like the very end of The Goodbye Girl, with Colby in the role of Richard Dreyfuss, which seems like a little bit of a disconnect. (Jeff Probst, of course, would play Marsha Mason.) The remaining members of Mogo Mogo all discuss the fact that the hat will have to be returned to him. Well, sure. It's all about the things that really matter. Kathy says that having Colby gone "summarizes" Mogo Mogo. What? She goes on to whine that the tribe never "amounted to a whole lot," and that Colby was "holding [them] back" by not trusting anyone. Wha? What is she talking about? Is she saying it's good? And the tribe is bad? Then how does having him gone "summarize" the tribe? My head hurts. I think I need a margarita. Or six. Anyway, Kathy says it's "too late for [Mogo Mogo] to rally," and now, it's especially bad because "Ethan is questioning it all." All of what? The meaning of life? The origins of Dr Pepper? The loyalty of a tribe that now obviously wants to vote him out? I don't mean to sound desperately lost within the first five minutes, but seriously, what is she talking about? We get one last lingering, nostalgic shot of Colby's hat, because when it comes to sizing up character, it all comes down to...headgear.

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