Pick-Up Sticks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Shuffle, Then Deal

Dave and Heidi, however, go off to find some firewood, and Dave makes his big move. Ew, not that kind of big move. Fortunately, because boy, would it be over between me and Dave practically before it began. Dave tells Heidi in the Reassurance Phase of his grand manipulation that he picked Heidi because he wants to take her into the merge. Then he tells her that he's talked to Butch and Roger, and she's going to go into the merge with the guys -- Christy and Jeanne will go next. Note that Dave does not quite say that Butch and Roger agreed to this -- he merely says he talked to them, and then he says this is the case. "If you were in my position, what do you think you would do?" she asks Dave. "I'd come with us," Dave says plainly. "You would?" Heidi says. Heidi, seriously. Did the pilot light go out again? I mean, throw some coal on the fire and poke your brain, girlfriend. What's the point of asking a guy who's trying to get you to do something to give you an honest opinion about whether he, in your place, would do what he's asking you to do? What's he going to say? "Well, if I were you, I'd go back to the women and try to come up with a way to eliminate me, because I'm clearly a bigger threat than Jeanne is, so yeah, you should probably ignore what I'm asking you to do here." That is not likely. Dave interviews that Heidi "needs to know" (and whether that's "needs to know" or "needs to think" is hard to say) that they intend to boot Jeanne and then Christy. He also mentions that Jeanne was next up on the chopping block at Jaburu anyway. Heidi laments her difficult position, saying, "I am really in just a rock and a hard stone." Way to miss the point of the entire cliché, there, dear. The point is that on one hand, there's a rock, and on the other hand, there's something that's also hard, not that there's another rock, or the saying would be "I'm between two rocks," which even Heidi must know doesn't really have the same kick to it. Ah, well. Either way, Heidi is out of the frying pan and into the skillet, because she still has to come up with a voting strategy and she has no idea what to do. And she totally can't stand having all this attention focused on her! Yeah, right. Self-described cute girls are always looking to avoid the spotlight.

Tambaqui paddles to tribal council. It's dark. They take their places, and Peachy appears, as he tends to do at these moments. He asks them first to talk about their reactions to the tribe-switching. Jeanne says she was excited, and the guys are great, and they were welcoming, so all is great. He asks Heidi how she feels about the women she left behind. She says she "adore[s] Jenna." She says that she loves all the women, but she's glad to be here. I have to say, that's pretty frantic ass-covering from someone who I'm betting doesn't cover her ass very often. Peachy asks Christy how her "assimilation" into Tambaqui has been going. She raves some more about how great the guys have been, and how much more comfortable she is in the new Tambaqui than she was in the old Jaburu. "Somebody's going tonight -- what's that going to be based on, Christy?" Peachy asks. "Alliances," she says simply. Peachy asks her whether it's old alliances or new alliances. She says that it's hard, because she hasn't known the guys very long, so she's pretty much stuck with old alliances. In other words, "Jeff, the chicks and I are sticking together, because we don't know which of these guys we can trust, if any." Peachy then turns to Roger and asks him how his vote is going to be determined. Roger says that he's going by who the weakest link in the tribe is. Yeah, right. Jeanne is much weaker than Heidi, whose body is up to 53% synthetic products at this point. Peachy turns to Jeanne -- how will she be voting? "Weakest link...and alliance," she says. Heh. I guess "drawing straws" seemed like a bad thing to say. He asks Heidi how she's voting. This is her exact response, delivered with a bland smile. "I'd say...I mean...yeah. ["Yeah" what?] There's so many things running through my head right now. [Peachy: "Give me one."] You know, I mean it is girls against guys, and then at the same time, we're a team. That's just killing me right now. I'm just like, you know, head spinning. And it's killing me." Wow, articulate!

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