Survivor
Pulling Your Own Weight

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Row, Row, Row Your Dopes!

Dirk goes first. He votes for Sue and says, "I love you, but I just can't stand the complainin'." Sean votes for Rudy and says, "For the first time I'm voting for Rudy, only because this is probably an athletic competition coming up that we're gonna have to win, and that's the only reason I would cast a vote against him. He's a phenomenal person." Sean's earnest, or perhaps he's too dumb to be deceitful; either way, he's so sad he looks like he might cry. I'd cry too if my one source of amusement was getting the boot. Kelly votes for Dirk, and that's all we'll see before Peachy merrily heads off to count the votes. Dirk and Rudy look nervous and Sean appears incredibly alert. The votes read as follows: one for Dirk; one for Sue, who grins and sneakily looks sideways at Richard; one for Rudy; and another for Dirk. At this point, Peachy explains that there have been two votes for Dirk, in case we can't count that high. The third vote is for Dirk, and he's grinning and nodding his head, so either he doesn't realize that three sends him off, or else he thinks he's winning some kind of contest. Sean looks sad, and Dirk looks happy, confused and basically like an idiot as he gets snuffed. He sends a peace-out to his teammates and a "Good luck," then heads off to meet his maker.

Next week on Survivor: Richard goes all nude all the time, and Tagi wins both challenges, because the Pagong team's eyes spontaneously start to bleed.

As the credits roll, Dirk thanks the Lord for this "unbelievable blessing" and "wild trip." He believe he "kicked it" as hard as he could. And now he can come down from his tapioca-induced high, and return home to his Vanilla Ice tape collection.

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Survivor

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