Reap What You Sow

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
The Old and the Infirm

So Coach and Stacey and Ozzy and some other chick are sitting up in the bleachers. Why do they have full bleachers in the Redemption Duel Pit or whatever it's called when they always have only four spectators? Semhar and Christine arrive on the scene. Probst asks Christine if there's any lingering bad blood after she was booted. Christine says that she was just saying what everyone was also saying, that Coach had to go early, and it caused Coach to target her. Probst asks Semhar how she's doing on Redemption Island. Semhar looks like a bag of shit. I mean, she looks exhausted and starving. I can't imagine her winning any competition right now, unless it's a bag of shit competition. Then she would totally take first place. She claims she's ready to keep going, but I'm not seeing it.

Probst explains the competition. They have to place a wooden idol on top of a platform, which is on a pole. At regular intervals, they will have to add another section to the pole, making it longer and thus more difficult to hold steady. The first person to drop the idol goes home. So let's get started! But wait. First, Semhar has to drop some spoken word on us. It's really weird. She just starts going off on all the things she would do for the man she loves. So at first, I'm like, "Okay, she gains strength from thinking about her man, although it's a little weird that she's talking about how she would do a striptease and give birth to eleven children without drugs to prove her love. I didn't know that getting an epidural equals not loving your baby daddy. I wonder what it means that I had a C-section? How am I still married?" Coach and Ozzy exchange an eyeroll, which was pretty awesome. And then Semhar concludes that she hasn't even found this awesome guy yet. So she's going to do all those things for some man that she hasn't yet met? She's a friggin' weirdo. She claims that doing that calms her down.

So finally, we're ready to start. They place their idols and Probst reminds them to keep both hands on the handle. They continue to add sections, and it seems like a really difficult task. Christine's idol wobbles a bit, and she looks up to see it. You can see the dirt in the folds of her neck. It's really gross. I am paranoid about neck grime. After what seems like a fairly short period of time, Semhar's idol falls and she loses. Christine gets to stick around, but Semhar is going home. Probst asks her how she's feeling. Semhar gives this whole speech about how she moved a lot as a kid and this brought up old feelings of abandonment, and her tribe was really cruel. Yeah, how dare the game and vote someone out. Probst points out that she signed up for the game, and Semhar kind of misses the point and says that she's really proud of herself for not quitting. Yeah! She lasted three whole days without quitting! Give her the million dollars! God. Get out, loser. Anyway, Christine and Semhar hug as Semhar passes over a blanket to Christine. Semhar drops her buff in the fire and leaves. Christine gives a thumbs up to Stacey and goes back to Redemption Island. She interviews that Coach only came to watch in hopes that she would lose, and she wants to "pull a Matt" and stick around for a long time. But hopefully not truly pull a Matt and not win the game, right?

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