Survivor

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

28-5
Recaplet

Top Five, Baby!

We Found Our Zombies - Tony gets cocky because his tribe is seeing some success, and it has long-reaching implications.

03.26.2014
03.27.2014
B

admin

28-4
Recap

The Brains Have It

Odd One Out - A tribal mixup helps the former Brains tribe and hurts pretty much everyone else.

03.19.2014
03.24.2014
B

admin

28-3
Recap

Toss Her Out With the Rice

It’s Our Time to Shine - The Brawn tribe tries REALLY hard to throw a challenge, but the Brains tribe is just really, really terrible… especially J’Tia.

03.12.2014
03.17.2014
B

admin

28-2
Recap

Most Boring Tie Ever

Cops-R-Us - The hapless Brains tribe finally gets some hap.

03.05.2014
03.10.2014
B

admin

28-1
Recap

I Heart Nerds

Hot Girl with a Grudge - The contestants are divided into Brains, Brawn, and Beauty tribes, which was apparently mostly done so that Probst could more easily mock the nerds.

02.26.2014
03.04.2014
C

admin

27-15
Recap

The Triumph of Tyson

Season 27 – Reunion - The entire cast gets to sit on the stage, although not all of them get to speak.

12.15.2013
12.20.2013
B

admin

27-14
Recap

The Inevitable

It’s My Night - Someone returns from Redemption Island and then Monica acts like she's going to do something for once, multiple times, but never does, until finally a predictable winner is crowned.

12.15.2013
12.20.2013
B

admin

27-3
Recap

Flipping Monica

Out On a Limb - Hayden and Ciera realize that their only shot is winning immunity, finding an Idol, and/or flipping Monica.

12.11.2013
12.16.2013
B

admin

27-12
Recap

Rustle Versus Ruffle

Rustle Feathers - Hayden makes his big last-ditch effort at flipping the script which results in a historic Tribal Council.

12.04.2013
12.09.2013
A

admin

27-11
Recap

Making a Move

Gloves Come Off - Hayden and Caleb finally decide to make a move against Tyson, but can't figure out if they should trust Ciera or not.

11.28.2013
12.03.2013
B+

admin

27-10
Recap

Mother, May I?

Big Bad Wolf - Ciera has to decide how much she wants to stick her neck out in order to convince her alliance to keep her mother around.

11.20.2013
11.25.2013
B

admin

27-9
Recap

Moving Right Along

My Brother’s Keeper - Two Immunity Challenges and two Tribal Councils keep this episode humming along, since everyone knows who's going next anyway.

11.13.2013
11.18.2013
B

admin

27-8
Recap

Reunited

Skin of My Teeth - Someone returns from Redemption Island and the tribes merge.

11.06.2013
11.11.2013
B

admin

27-7
Recap

Odd Man Out?

Swoop In for the Kill - It's the last elimination before the merge: will the non-Immune tribe think long-term or short-term?

10.30.2013
11.05.2013
B-

admin

27-6
Recap

The Charm of Vytas

One-Man Wrecking Ball - A tribal switch shakes up alliances and necessitates Vytas turning on his charm for the women of his new tribe.

10.23.2013
10.28.2013
N/A

admin

27-5
Recap

Battle of the Lauras

The Dead Can Still Talk - Galang finally loses a challenge and has to break up their happy family.

10.16.2013
10.21.2013
B-

admin

27-4
Recap

Caleb's Big Move

One Armed Dude and Three Moms - Tadhana can't even beat a Galang tribe headed by a one-armed Tyson. And Caleb makes a move.

10.09.2013
10.14.2013
B+

admin

27-3
Recap

Quitters Never Win

Pandora’s Box - Colton quits again, some more, and then the remaining people get to beat one another up in the challenge.

10.02.2013
10.07.2013
B

admin

27-2
Recap

Stir the Pot

Rule in Chaos - Colton gets bored with being nice to people and starts trying to stir the pot. No one is buying it, but luckily for him, his tribe doesn't have to go to Tribal Council.

09.25.2013
09.30.2013
B

admin

27-1
Recap

Blood in the Water

Blood is Thicker Than Anything - Returning players arrive with loved ones in tow, only to find out that they won't be playing together. Instead, they will be on separate tribes.

09.18.2013
09.24.2013
B

admin

26-15
Recap

Half the Cast Was Missing

Season 26 Reunion - The reunion features lots of time with Cochran and Dawn, some salivating over Malcolm and a weird segment where Boston Rob pimps his book, I guess?

05.12.2013
05.20.2013
B

admin

26-14
Recap

Nerd Power

Last Push - After Erik has to be medically evacuated, Eddie gets voted out, and Sherri proves to be useless, it comes down to Dawn versus Cochran in the finale.

05.12.2013
05.20.2013
B

admin

26-13
Recap

It's Eddie, Right?

Don’t Say Anything About My Mom - It's the tear-soaked family member visit, and Brenda gets totally screwed over when she has to make an impossible decision.

05.08.2013
05.12.2013
B

admin

26-12
Recap

The Blindside

The Beginning of the End - The majority alliance starts to fracture once the threats are gone, and it's kind of beautiful.

05.01.2013
05.07.2013
B+

admin

26-11
Recap

End of the Road

Come Over to the Dark Side - The bro-lliance tries to figure out any move that might keep them alive.

04.24.2013
04.29.2013
B

admin

26-10
Recap

False Teeth and False Hope

Zipping Over the Cuckoo’s Nest - Dawn has a panic attack over her false teeth and then Malcolm makes a big strategic move.

04.17.2013
04.23.2013
A

admin

26-9
Recap

Give Me The Idol

Cut Off the Head of the Snake - The alliances are still scrambling to figure out who's solid and who's flakey, and it results in some surprises.

04.10.2013
04.16.2013
B

admin

26-8
Recap

Requiem for a Hag

Blindside Time - The tribes merge, and Malcolm and Corinne see a prime opportunity to gather up their strays and blindside King Phillip. But a pair of wildcards emerge, in Dawn and Erik. Also, the triumphant, pukey return of the Gross Food Challenge.

04.03.2013
04.08.2013
B+

admin

26-7
Recap

Alpha Alliance

Tubby Lunchbox - Phillip continues to make enemies on his own tribe, while Malcolm makes a move.

03.27.2013
03.29.2013
B

admin

26-6
Recap

Bold and the Beautiful

Operation Thunder Dome - Now that Brandon's out of the way, the tribes switch it up, leaving one young and strong tribe and one tribe of old losers.

03.20.2013
03.25.2013
C

admin

26-5
Recap

Meltdown

Persona Non Grata - To the surprise of no one, Brandon melts down and implodes.

03.13.2013
03.18.2013
F

admin

26-4
Recap

Strength vs. Loyalty

Kill Or Be Killed - A medical evacuation causes one tribe to rethink their strategy.

03.06.2013
03.12.2013
A+

admin

26-3
Recap

Nothing But Air

There’s Gonna Be Hell to Pay - Shamar continues to yell and whine and complain and avoid being voted out.

02.27.2013
03.04.2013
C

admin

26-2
Recap

The Specialist

Honey Badger - Only one challenge leaves lots of time for bickering and craziness.

02.20.2013
02.25.2013
B

admin

26-1
Recap

Always Wear Sunscreen

She Annoys Me Greatly - Ten fans and ten "favorites" show up to face off in the twenty-sixth season.

02.13.2013
02.19.2013
B

admin

25-15
Recap

Guy Love

Season 25, Reunion - Who won? It's easy to forget when Probst spends the entire time slobbering over his alpha males.

12.16.2012
12.21.2012
C

admin

25-14
Recap

Bitter, Party of Penner

Million Dollar Question - After Malcolm fails to win the final immunity, the writing is on the wall, and then a bitter jury questions the final three before crowning a new winner.

12.16.2012
12.21.2012
B

admin

25-13
Recap

Sugar High

Gouge My Eyes Out - As the machinations to make it to the finals continue, various people consider whether or not it's worth keeping Abi around.

12.12.2012
12.20.2012
B+

admin

25-12
Recap

Justice is Served

Shot Into Smithereens - As the final four gets closer, the final four alliance members start to consider other options.

12.05.2012
12.10.2012
B

admin

25-11
Recap

Back-Up Plan

Hell Hath Frozen Over - Everyone plans to vote out Abi, but what if Abi finally wins immunity?

11.28.2012
12.03.2012
C

admin

25-10
Recap

Cultural Differences

Whiners are Weiners - Abi realizes that everyone hates her and it makes her very sad. Meanwhile, a final four alliance is forged.

11.21.2012
11.27.2012
B

admin

25-9
Recap

Scramble

Little Miss Perfect - The former Kalabaw scrambles like crazy to get at least one member of the former Tandang to join them.

11.14.2012
11.19.2012
B

admin

25-8
Recap

It's All Happening

Dead Man Walking - In one of the craziest episodes in the show's history, nobody knows anything.

11.07.2012
11.12.2012
A+

admin

25-7
Recap

Flushing Idols

Not the Only Actor on the Island - The two remaining tribes finally merge and the traditional post-merge scramble happens, except this time there are multiple Immunity Idols involved.

10.31.2012
11.05.2012
B

admin

25-5
Recap

Negotiation

Down and Dirty - A weird compromise at a poorly planned reward challenge is the only interesting thing to happen in this episode.

10.24.2012
10.29.2012
C

admin

25-5
Recap

Dawson's Eek

Got My Swag Back - Three tribes become two,and after a medical dismissal and a Tribal Council, one tribe is seriously down in numbers.

10.17.2012
10.22.2012
B

admin

25-4
Recap

Sore Loser

Create A Little Chaos - Things are heating up on the two intact tribes, but they won't get a chance to set off fireworks because Matsing is still the worst.

10.10.2012
10.16.2012
A

admin

25-3
Recap

Skupin Injury Number Twenty Billion

This Isn’t a We Game - The hapless Matsing still can't find any haps.

10.03.2012
10.08.2012
B

admin

25-2
Recap

Multiple Emotional Breakdowns

Don’t Be Blinded By The Headlights - A hidden Immunity Idol is found, and a cat fight erupts on one of the tribes.

09.26.2012
10.01.2012
B

admin

25-1
Recap

The Facts of Life

Survivor Smacked Me in the Chops - The new castaways are divided into three tribes, and each is joined by a returning Survivor who had to leave for medical reasons. Will they vote off the returnee immediately?

09.19.2012
09.24.2012
B

admin

24-15
Recap

Back For More

Live Reunion Show - It's a light-hearted non-bitter reunion for once, although we do have to hear from Colton again.

05.13.2012
05.21.2012
B

admin

24-14
Recap

Rolling Over and Playing Dead

Perception Is Not Always Reality - Kim is still running the show, but will that help or hurt her in front of a jury?

05.13.2012
05.18.2012
B

admin

24-13
Recap

Microbes!

It’s Human Nature - Everyone is trying to figure out his or her best final three and how to get there.

05.09.2012
05.14.2012
B

admin

24-12
Recap

Blindsides are Fun! And Exciting!

It’s Gonna Be Chaos - The women are trying to decide whether to blindside Kat or Sabrina and for once, the choice isn't obvious.

05.02.2012
05.07.2012
A

admin

24-11
Recap

Kat-Napped

Never Say Die - Troy continues to try to sow dissent within the women's alliance, but is it too little, too late?

04.25.2012
05.01.2012
B

admin

24-10
Recap

This is MY ISLAND!

I’m No Dummy - Troy goes apeshit trying to save his own skin and it works. For now.

04.18.2012
04.23.2012
B

admin

24-9
Recap

Mocking Jay

Go Out With a Bang - It'd be easy to get on Jay's case for bailing on immunity for food or for handing Kim the keys to the bus and then throwing himself under it. Easy and accurate. But we come here not to bury Jay but to give him comforting, lingering pats on the back and upper arms.

04.11.2012
04.16.2012
B

admin

24-8
Recap

Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor

Just Annihilate Them - With a 6-5 numbers advantage, the women decide the time may be right to turn on the men. Kim emerges as a huge player as the Salani women weigh their options and Jeff Probst jumps up and down about blindsides.

04.04.2012
04.09.2012
B+

admin

24-7
Recap

It's Not Poop, It's Dirt

The Beauty of a Merge - With equal numbers of men and women on the newly merged tribe, it's a battle to see which suballiances will stay strong.

03.28.2012
04.02.2012
B

admin

24-6
Recap

Ding Dong

Thanks for the Souvenir - Colton gets medically evacuated and the tribes merge.

03.21.2012
03.27.2012
D

admin

24-5
Recap

Mixing It Up

A Bunch of Idiots - Instead of a merge, there is a tribe rejiggering done randomly and it results in a huge imbalance in the new tribes.

03.14.2012
03.20.2012
B

admin

24-4
Recap

A Bunch of Idiots

Bum-Puzzled - The men win immunity and then go to Tribal Council anyway. I don't think they understand how this game works.

03.07.2012
03.12.2012
C

admin

24-3
Recap

The Fall of Man

One World is Out the Window - The women finally mount a comeback, at least for now.

02.29.2012
03.05.2012
B

admin

24-2
Recap

Balancing Act

Total Dysfunction - The return of the Reward Challenge and a balancing act Immunity Challenge both spell doom for the women.

02.22.2012
02.27.2012
B

admin

24-1
Recap

Men and Women are Both Dumb

Two Tribes, One Camp, No Rules - The male and female tribes have to co-exist and, in doing so, manage to make both genders look like a bunch of jerks.

02.15.2012
02.21.2012
B

admin

23-15
Recap

Boys Rule, Girls Drool

Survivor Reunion: South Pacific - Probst talks to the dudes. Ladies, take a break.

12.18.2011
12.27.2011
D

admin

23-14
Recap

Coach is a Young Girl

Loyalties Will Be Broken - Ozzy returns and the castaways have to figure out how to get rid of him when he keeps winning immunity.

12.18.2011
12.27.2011
B+

admin

23-13
Recap

God's Will

Then There Were Five - Alliances are shifting by the minute as the final five try to figure out their next moves. Brandon gets God's help and apparently God wanted Brandon to look like a dummy.

12.14.2011
12.18.2011
A-

admin

23-12
Recap

Edna Makes Her Move

Ticking Time Bomb - Edna knows she's the next to go unless she pulls out all the stops. So she pulls out all the stops.

12.07.2011
12.12.2011
A-

admin

23-11
Recap

Cannibalism

Cult Like - Now that the Savaii members have all been voted out, Upolu must turn on its own. But wait, wasn't Cochran on Savaii?

11.30.2011
12.05.2011
B

admin

23-10
Recap

Coach Kool-Aid

Running the Show - Some of the tribe members realize that it's time to make a move to break up the Coach Cult, but will enough people flip to make it happen or are they still drinking the Kool-Aid?

11.16.2011
11.21.2011
B

admin

23-9
Recap

Double Trouble

Cut Throat - It's double elimination night, since the numbers are uneven and we all know what's going to happen. OR DO WE?

11.09.2011
11.14.2011
C+

admin

23-8
Recap

Go To Rocks

Double Agent - Ozzy returns from Redemption Island and the tribes merge. And then the machinations begin, since it's six versus six and someone has to flip and backstab his or her tribe to avoid a random elimination.

11.02.2011
11.07.2011
A-

admin

23-7
Recap

Trojan Man

Trojan Horse - Ozzy makes one of the biggest and most daring moves in the history of the show! Too bad it's totally (and obviously) unnecessary.

10.26.2011
11.01.2011
B

admin

23-6
Recap

Loyal Women

Free Agent - It's all about disloyalty this week, except it's totally not, and someone needs to get these castaways a dictionary, because they don't understand what words mean.

10.19.2011
10.24.2011
B

admin

23-5
Recap

Prig Roast

Taste the Victory - Upolu wins some pre-chewed pig, while over-confident Ozzy's alliance is cooked.

10.12.2011
10.17.2011
B

admin

23-4
Recap

Hug It Out

Survivalism - Coach decides to send the least huggable tribe member since Christine out with a group hug. He's lucky she didn't set him on fire.

10.05.2011
10.10.2011
B

admin

23-3
Recap

The Old and the Infirm

Reap What You Sow - A desperate Papa Bear attempts to manufacture a fake Immunity Idol, but he doesn't know that Ozzy has the real one.

09.28.2011
10.03.2011
B-

admin

23-2
Recap

Li'l Li'l Failure

He Has Demons - The entire episode builds up to an Upolu challenge loss and Li'l Li'l Russell engineering it so that Mikayla is voted out because he can't handle being attracted to her. Then Mikayla doesn't get any votes and Christine goes to Redemption Island.

09.21.2011
09.27.2011
B

admin

23-1
Recap

We Don't Need Spoken Words

I Need Redemption - Coach and Ozzy get a chance to play the game a third time against the usual crop of models and weirdos, including Semhar, the "spoken word artist" who manages to be both and is thus the first to be voted out.

09.14.2011
09.20.2011
B-

admin

22-15
Recap

True Love

Redemption Island Reunion - Li'l Russell loves himself, Rob loves camera time, and David loves Carolina (remember her? Of course you don't. She was the first boot of Season 18) so much that he proposes to her. Probst only wishes he could propose to Rob, but at least he gets to waste another hour of our lives telling him how awesome he is.

05.15.2011
05.20.2011
F

admin

22-14
Recap

Fourth Time's A Charm

Seems Like A No-Brainer - This entire season has been leading up to a Rob victory, and that's exactly what we get.

05.15.2011
05.20.2011
D

admin

22-13
Recap

Ash Wednesday

Too Close For Comfort - Rob deigns that Ashley should be the next to leave the game, only for her to cause the first semi-unpredictable thing to happen this entire season by winning the Immunity Challenge and beginning to plot against him.

05.11.2011
05.17.2011
B

admin

22-12
Recap

Zero Net Loss

You Mangled My Nets - Zapato may be gone, but the entirely predictable booting continues.

05.04.2011
05.10.2011
C

admin

22-11
Recap

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

A Mystery Package - Not even Probst's package can stop two more predictable boots from happening.

04.27.2011
05.02.2011
D

admin

22-10
Recap

Race Wars

Rice Wars - Onomatopoeia's (partially stolen from Zapato) rice goes bad because Steve is racist. Also because of karma.

04.20.2011
04.26.2011
C

admin

22-9
Recap

The Cult Of Rob

The Buddy System - Rob completely takes over the entire game, and it's really boring.

04.13.2011
04.19.2011
D

admin

22-8
Recap

Jesus Hates Matt

This Game Respects Big Moves - Everyone who's off Redemption Island and back in the game, step forward! Not so fast, Matt.

04.06.2011
04.11.2011
A

admin

22-7
Recap

This Is Stupid

It Don’t Take A Smart One - Remember last week, when Matt won the Redemption Island challenge, Phillip yelled at his tribe crazily, and Onomatopoeia won the immunity challenge, thus sending Zapato to Tribal to be criticized by Jeff? Well, it happened again this week.

03.30.2011
04.04.2011
C

admin

22-6
Recap

Former Federal Stepchild?

Their Red-Headed Stepchild - Phillip may feel like a red-headed stepchild, but Zapato gets beaten like one.

03.23.2011
03.29.2011
B-

admin

22-5
Recap

Women Are Useless And/Or Bitchy

We Hate Our Tribe - That's pretty much all we learn this week. Also, Rob does more stuff.

03.16.2011
03.22.2011
B-

admin

22-4
Recap

Ressell Mania

Don’t You Work For Me? - HE'S GONE.

03.09.2011
03.15.2011
A+

admin

22-3
Recap

Li'l Russell Island

Keep Hope Alive - Li'l Russell's tribe hates him and his nasty armpits so much, they throw a challenge for the chance to vote him out. It would be so wonderful if it wasn't for stupid Redemption Island.

03.02.2011
03.08.2011
B

admin

22-2
Recap

Judas

You Own My Vote - Rob betrays his Jesus-loving teammate for 30 pieces of silver.

02.23.2011
03.01.2011
B

admin

22-1
Recap

Federal Agent Question Mark

You’re Looking at the New Leader of Our Tribe - Sixteen new contestants plus Rob and Russell head to Nicaragua for another season, including one of the crackpottiest Tribal Councils from any season.

02.16.2011
02.22.2011
B+

admin

21-16
Recap

Fox NFL Sunday

Reunion - Terry Bradshaw just got more camera time than the other Kelly did all season.

12.19.2010
12.29.2010
F

admin

21-15
Recap

Jud The Stud

What About Me? - Jud has to win all the immunity challenges to stay, and thereby destroy any chance anyone else has to win.

12.19.2010
12.27.2010
C

admin

21-14
Recap

Last Dance With Merry Jane

This is Going to Hurt - The time has come for Jane to be voted out before her poor widow story can win a million pity dollars. She does not take the news well.

12.15.2010
12.20.2010
D

admin

21-13
Recap

Sash Goes Both Ways

Not Sure Where I Stand - Despite his allies either being voted out or quitting, Sash still has the upper hand when both alliances need him for the majority vote. Sash thinks he's really smart, but then he picks the alliance full of "nice" people who don't take him on rewards.

12.08.2010
12.13.2010
B

admin

21-12
Recap

Nothing Left To Suck

You Started, You’re Finishing - In between promos for a crappy-looking Jack Black movie, Naonka and the other Kelly quit.

12.01.2010
12.07.2010
D

admin

21-11
Recap

Big Turkey

We Did It Guys - Survivor no longer airs on Thursdays, but that won't stop it from filling some time with its traditional Thanksgiving-day recap of the season so far.

11.24.2010
11.30.2010
B-

admin

21-10
Weecap

Play With Fire

Stuck In The Middle - Brenda's decision to vote Marty out over unpredictable and crazy players like Naonka, Holly, and Jane comes back to bite her in the ass. Also, the camp burns down.

11.17.2010
11.24.2010
A-

admin

21-9
Recap

Ruining The Camp

Running The Camp - Naonka steals food, Jane is real threat to win the million dollars, Chase is annoying, and Dan is useless. But let's vote Marty out.

11.10.2010
11.16.2010
B

admin

21-8
Recap

P90X

Company Will Be Arriving - Jane's late-night infomercial viewing comes in handy.

11.03.2010
11.09.2010
B+

admin

21-7
Recap

Welcome To Our Ool

What Goes Around, Comes Around - Notice there's no P in it. No Jill anymore, either.

10.27.2010
11.02.2010
B-

admin

21-6
Recap

Three Legs Gone

Worst Case Scenario - This week, both tribes get the chance to vote the wrong person out.

10.20.2010
10.26.2010
B

admin

21-5
Recap

The Biggest Chicken

Turf Wars - Is it Naonka for wanting to quit because of some rain, or Tyrone for annoying his new tribemates by eating the lion's share of their chicken reward?

10.13.2010
10.19.2010
B+

admin

21-4
Recap

Gone Fishin'

Pulling The Trigger - And with that, this season is now Jimmy-free.

10.06.2010
10.12.2010
B-

admin

21-3
Recap

All That Glitters

Glitter in Their Eyes - Naonka continues her quest to become the worst person ever, while Marty completes his to get rid of Jimmy Johnson.

09.29.2010
10.05.2010
B+

admin

21-2
Recap

Everybody's Crazy!

Fatigue Makes Cowards Of Us All - Everyone from Holly to Naonka to Shannon proves to be insane and quite hateful this week. Which, of course, means we're probably in for the best season in a long time.

09.22.2010
09.29.2010
A

admin

21-1
Recap

Stuporbowl

Young At Heart - This season's newest contestants consist of Two-Time Super Bowl Winning Coach Jimmy Johnson and a bunch of other people who did not win Super Bowls and thus deserve only a fraction of the cameratime.

09.15.2010
09.22.2010
B

admin

20-15
Recap

RUSSELL IS THE GREATEST PLAYER IN SURVIVOR HISTORY

Reunion - I'm hoping that if I say it, he'll finally go away.

05.16.2010
05.24.2010
D

admin

20-14
Recap

Simple As That

Anything Could Happen - The Final Five is whittled down to Three, as Colby and Jerri are voted out because self-proclaimed master strategist Li'l Russell thinks Jerri will vote for him to win, while the best Sandra can hope for is one vote from Courtney. So, of course, Sandra wins and Li'l Russell receives zero votes.

05.16.2010
05.24.2010
A-

admin

20-13
Recap

Lusitania

Loose Lips Sink Ships - Li'l Russell thinks he has this entire game in the bag, but he didn't count on a sassy little torpedo named Sandra, who hates him so much that she'll risk her own place in the game to openly mock him. And Rupert sinks his own ship by siding with Li'l Russell over Sandra.

05.13.2010
05.19.2010
A

admin

20-12
Recap

Titanic

A Sinking Ship - All the Villains have to do is vote out Colby and Rupert. And this week, they have two chances to do it. So, of course, they send Candice and Danielle home.

05.06.2010
05.07.2010
B+

admin

20-11
Recap

Treasure Island

Jumping Ship - In what is sure to go down in Survivor history as an awesome moment, Amanda and Danielle wrestle in Robert Louis Stevenson's house while not wearing any pants. Then Amanda is voted out because Candice sucks.

04.29.2010
05.05.2010
N/A

admin

20-10
Recap

Two Little Green Men

Going Down in Flames - It's time for the merge! Parvati gives immunity idols away left and right and reminds us why she won this game while Rupert turns out to be the only person in his tribe capable of rational thought and possessing the tiniest bit of common sense.

04.22.2010
04.28.2010
A

admin

20-9
Recap

The Lost Art of Letter-Writing

Survivor History - Courtney's sad ouster is totally overshadowed by J.T. and the producers basically handing immunity idols to Li'l Russell and Parvati.

04.15.2010
04.21.2010
B

admin

20-8
Recap

Fistbump

Expectations - The Heroes win everything again this week while the Villains look like morons, preparing for a merge that never happens and then allowing Sandra to fistbump her and Courtney through another Tribal Council at Douche's expense.

04.08.2010
04.14.2010
B+

admin

20-7
Recap

April Fool

I’m Not A Good Villain - Douche and Jerri are morons, so they decide to trade one alliance lead by a guy they can't trust for another alliance lead by a guy they can't trust.

04.01.2010
04.07.2010
B-

admin

20-6
Recap

This Show Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-ZZZ

Banana Etiquette - In a double elimination, boringness and stupidity abound as the Heroes decide to get rid of James because he's only mobile when he's selfishly getting some bananas for himself and the Villains decide to get rid of either Parvati or Li'l Russell, only for Tyson to find a way to essentially vote himself out.

03.24.2010
03.31.2010
B

admin

20-5
Recap

Chocolate Lovers

Knights of the Round Table - The Villains win a chocolaty reward that the women especially appreciate while the Heroes lose both challenges as well as the mobility of James, but still elect to keep him in the game over Tom. Also, Rupert beats women.

03.11.2010
03.17.2010
B+

admin

20-4
Recap

Community Idol

Tonight We Make Our Move - Both tribes find out there are immunity idols hidden in their camps and react in opposite ways, with almost all of the Villains deciding not to bother with it and almost all of the Heroes searching desperately for it. Tom finds it and is somehow able to use it against majority alliance leader Cirie.

03.04.2010
03.10.2010
B

admin

20-3
Recap

Special Guest Editor: Parvati Shallow

That Girl Is Like A Virus - The Villains discuss what an awesome, fun, and charming person Parvati is and how that incredible popularity makes her a threat come the merge. They get the chance to vote her off when they lose the challenge, only to take friendless and unpleasant Randy out instead.

02.25.2010
03.03.2010
B-

admin

20-2
Recap

Crybabyitis

It’s Getting The Best Of Me - It's catching worse than the Samoan flu, striking down Rob (who is able to recover quickly) before moving onto the entire Heroes tribe (who are not).

02.18.2010
02.25.2010
B-

admin

20-1
Recap

One Decade Older, If Not Wiser

Slay Everyone, Trust No One - Survivor celebrates its twentieth season by bringing back a bunch of contestants you've seen once or even twice before and, in many cases, never wanted to see again.

02.11.2010
02.17.2010
B

admin

19-16
Recap

It Ain't Over Til The Fat Man Cries

Reunion - Li'l Russell's tears taste like camera time and Shambo's mullet gets more attention than Liz, John, and Kelly combined. But at least this season is over.

12.20.2009
12.28.2009
D

admin

19-15
Recap

Waterloo

This Game Ain’t Over - Li'l Russell finds out exactly how awesome he is when he only gets two votes in the final Tribal Council.

12.20.2009
12.28.2009
B-

admin

19-14
Recap

Shamgo

Two Brains Are Better Than One - Brett wins immunity again, forcing the Foa Foa alliance to choose between Shambo or Mick to be the next to leave. No one does anything to try to change his lot in the game once again, so we have to fill time with Brett and Natalie's love of Jesus.

12.17.2009
12.21.2009
C

admin

19-13
Recap

A Monica Seed

Damage Control - Two more Galu members are voted out tonight after two immunity challenges occurring over three or two or six days. Monica plants a seed of doubt in the minds of Li'l Russell's allies, but they're too passive to act on it.

12.10.2009
12.16.2009
B-

admin

19-12
Recap

God and Chickens Speak to Shambo

Off With Their Heads! - It's a good thing they do, because no one else is telling her anything. Meanwhile, John's self-proclaimed superior gameplay gets him voted out by both alliances.

12.03.2009
12.09.2009
B+

admin

19-11
Recap

"Don't Make Me Throw Up On Your Face"

The First 27 Days - For this season's clip show, we see the softer side of Shambo, the stupid side of Dave Ball, the backside of Erik, the evil side of Laura, and the invisible sides of Brett and Kelly.

11.26.2009
11.30.2009
B-

admin

19-10
Recap

Galusers

The Day of Reckoning - Galu can't stop Li'l Russell from finding another immunity idol, can't keep their 6-4 majority after alienated Shambo switches to Foa Foa, and can't even win their only hope at Tribal Council that someone from Foa Foa will pick a rock, as John joins Shambo and Foa Foa and votes Laura out in the second tie-breaker vote.

11.19.2009
11.25.2009
B

admin

19-9
Recap

II II

Tastes Like Chicken - While Laura gets her second individual immunity win in a row, Li'l Russell finds a second hidden immunity idol without a clue and uses it at Tribal Council, this time to his and Foa Foa's advantage.

11.12.2009
11.18.2009
B+

admin

19-8
Recap

History Repeats Itself

All Hell Breaks Loose - Hey, remember last season when the minority tribe going into the merge blew the majority tribe apart and made it all the way to the Final 4? Erik doesn't.

11.05.2009
11.10.2009
A-

admin

19-7
Recap

Magic!

Houdini Magic - Despite electing Shambo as their new leader and being invisible, Galu continues to dominate. And despite the fact that we have 50% fewer Russells this week, Russell manages to get more camera time than ever.

10.29.2009
11.04.2009
D

admin

19-6
Recap

Russell Dies

This Is The Man Test - No, not that Russell. The other Russell.

10.22.2009
10.27.2009
B

admin

19-5
Recap

When It Rains, It Bores

Walking on Thin Ice - Foa Foa continues to lose, Shambo continues to be ostracized from her tribe, both Russells continue to be insufferable, and it rains so much that the rest of the contestants spend most of the episode huddled together in their shelters.

10.15.2009
10.21.2009
B-

admin

19-4
Recap

Meet Galu

Hungry For A Win - Foa Foa wins their first immunity challenge, so we finally get to spend some time the Galu tribe, who are just as good at finding immunity idols and screwing things up as Foa Foa is.

10.08.2009
10.14.2009
B

admin

19-3
Recap

Do The Right Thing

It’s Called A Russell Seed - Li'l Russell spends the entire episode trying to convince us of his supreme control over his tribe as he tries to convince them to get rid of Ashley. Instead, they unanimously vote Ben out after Jaison takes a stand against his racist comments.

10.01.2009
10.07.2009
B+

admin

15-5
Recap

Love Is In The Air

Love Is In The Air - Erik and Jaime do a little flirting, and a tribe shuffle leads to a controversial maneuver.

10.17.2007
10.19.2007
C+

admin

15-4
Recap

Ride The Workhorse 'Til The Tail Falls Off

Ride The Workhorse ‘Til The Tail Falls Off - Who will go home? The one who doesn't do any work, or the one who works everyone's nerves? And how many Chinese stereotypes can you cram into one challenge?

10.10.2007
10.12.2007
B-

admin

15-3
Recap

I Lost Two Hands And Possibly A Shoulder!

I Lost Two Hands And Possibly A Shoulder! - Leslie is kidnapped, investigates the religious backgrounds of her tribemates, and finds herself on the bad end of a booting. Meanwhile, Jean-Robert is a huge jerk and the worst poker player ever.

10.03.2007
10.05.2007
B

admin

15-2
Recap

My Mom Is Going To Kill Me!

My Mom Is Going To Kill Me! - A muddy challenge and a face-off between Dave and Ashley lead to a win-win tribal council that's bound to send at least one of them home.

09.26.2007
09.28.2007
B

admin

15-1
Recap

A Chicken's A Little Bit Smarter

A Chicken’s A Little Bit Smarter - In the China premiere, we get a lot of rain, a lot of monks, and one fewer piece of poultry, if you get my drift.

09.19.2007
09.21.2007
B

admin

14-15
Recap

Earl Redux

Fiji Reunion - More stuff about Earl winning! That's all good news! Not so much good news is Rocky, but that's okay! Earl, Earl, Earl!

05.12.2007
05.27.2007
C

admin

14-Extra
Recap

Earl Redux

Reunion - More stuff about Earl winning! That's all good news! Not so much good news is Rocky, but that's okay! Earl, Earl, Earl!

05.12.2007
05.26.2007
C-

admin

14-14
Recap

The Last Temptation Of "Dreamz"

You’ve Got A Puzzled Look - We start with five; we wind up with three. Betrayal, backstabbing, crying, and the worst jury ever, and then Earl gets the big win. Way to go, big guy.

05.12.2007
05.18.2007
B

admin

14-13
Recap

Take My Truck...Please

I Wanna See If I Can Make A Deal - "Dreamz" gets a free car from Yau Man and then comes surprisingly close to getting him voted out. Fortunately for Yau Man fans, Stacy can't keep her mouth shut, and Yau Man saves himself at her expense.

05.09.2007
05.12.2007
A

admin

14-12
Recap

The End Of The Axis Of Alex

A Smile, Velvet Gloves And A Dagger In My Pocket - Alex is run out of camp after utterly failing in two separate attempts to get someone booted other than himself. Also, Boo talks quite a bit, it turns out.

05.02.2007
05.08.2007
A

admin

14-11
Recap

Bully For You

Blackmail Or Betrayal - Alex and Mookie undertake a hilariously misguided effort to bully Yau Man, which results in people hating them even more than before. Alex votes against Mookie, which sends Mookie home, roasting in the juices of betrayal.

04.25.2007
05.02.2007
A

admin

14-10
Recap

Tricky Turtle

It’s A Turtle - Yau Man wins immunity, and after about four reversals of fortune, the Earl-liance takes out Edgardo and gets the upper hand but good.

04.18.2007
04.24.2007
A+

admin

14-9
Recap

Dumb Luck

Are We Gonna Live On Exile Island?! - The tribes merge, sort of, but then they wind up divided again at the immunity challenge. Michelle's ducks couldn't be more in a row, but when she's thrown in with strange ducks, she can't save herself.

04.11.2007
04.15.2007
B-

admin

14-8
Recap

Lo-o-o-o-sers

So You Think You Can Meke? - Lisi sizes up her tribe as totally worthless, and after playing a major role in its losing both challenges (again), she volunteers to be booted. Her last-minute pleas notwithstanding, she is booted.

04.04.2007
04.10.2007
B+

admin

14-7
Recap

Rocky (Hit The) Road

An Evil Thought - Yau Man finds the hidden immunity idol and sets up a fake one, Lisi joins Ravu, and Rocky finally gets kicked to the curb.

03.28.2007
04.02.2007
B

admin

14-6
Recap

Scrambled Dudes

I’ve Got Strength Now To Carry The Flag - The tribes mix up, and all the young, buff dudes go off together, except that they take Anthony and leave Boo. Delightfully, that tribe winds up at Ouch Camp, but less delightfully, when they lose the immunity challenge, they send Anthony home.

03.20.2007
03.27.2007
B-

admin

14-5
Recap

Talk Talk

Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong To None - Ravu loses a challenge. Ravu loses another challenge. Ravu boots Rita. Lisi is a jerk. Things are really developing fast!

03.07.2007
03.14.2007
C-

admin

14-4
Recap

Medic!

Let’s Just Call Jeff On The Jeff Phone - Gary goes home with a plethora of bug bites and a bad case of vertigo, and when Moto decides to vote someone off rather than give up Couch Camp, Liliana gets sent home too.

02.28.2007
03.06.2007
C

admin

14-3
Recap

She Saw It Coming

This Isn’t Survival…It’s Thrival - The good thing about Sylvia's booting is that it was completely obvious, particularly since she got no opportunity to look for the idol between the challenge and tribal council. In other news, Gary has a cracked rib or something.

02.21.2007
02.27.2007
B-

admin

14-2
Recap

Not So Fast, Sylvia

Snakes Are Misunderstood…We Have An Understanding Now - Sylvia's back from Exile Island, and getting on everybody's nerves. But when Erica kind of goes over the edge at the challenge and the team gets the chance to blame her for losing, she leaves instead. Leaving instead of Sylvia: the final insult.

02.14.2007
02.20.2007
B

admin

14-1
Recap

The One Where One Tribe Has A Toilet

Something Cruel Is About To Happen…Real Soon - This season gets off to an unusual start when a luxurious camp is constructed. But it turns out that only one tribe gets to live there, while the other one has to boot off Jessica. Well, they choose to boot off Jessica, really.

02.07.2007
02.13.2007
B

admin

13-15
Recap

Remember When Everyone Wasn't Dumb That One Time?

Cook Islands Reunion - Yul, Ozzy, and the people off of whom they beat the pants return for a chat with Jeff Probst, a display of their post-show plumage, and discussions of various romances that never were.

12.16.2006
12.30.2006
A

admin

13-14
Recap

The Finish That Was Weirdly Satisfying

This Tribe Will Self-Destruct In 5, 4, 3… - It's hard to believe, but the final three all turn out to be vaguely deserving, and the most deserving one of all takes the money. Don't drop your teeth or anything, but the race-wars season actually ended pretty well.

12.16.2006
12.22.2006
A

admin

13-13
Recap

Take Your Teeth And Go

I Have The Advantage…For Once - Adam and Parvati are on the ropes, so Parvati cranks up her "appeal" during a spa reward with Yul and Ozzy. She gets voted off anyway.

12.13.2006
12.16.2006
C+

admin

13-12
Recap

Sweet Johnny Blue-Eyes

Arranging A Hit - Parvati and Adam are totally outnumbered this week by the Aitu four plus their new pal Jonathan. Only a couple of tribal councils left, and only one sensible goal: keep Rarovians from ending up in front of the jury, at any cost. Of course, Aitu decides to boot Jonathan instead.

12.06.2006
12.12.2006
B-

admin

13-11
Recap

Candice Canned

You’re A Rat - Raro really can't believe Jonathan is such a rat that he isn't letting them win, so they spend the episode trying to get back at him by forcing Aitu to vote him off before them. It doesn't work, and Candice goes home.

11.29.2006
12.05.2006
A

admin

13-10
Recap

Flip! Flip! Flip! He's A Flipper!

Why Would You Trust Me? - The merge comes too soon for Aitu, which finds itself down 5-4. It ought to be sewn up, but of course, things are never sewn up when Jonathan is involved, and Nate ultimately takes a well-deserved trip home.

11.22.2006
11.28.2006
A

admin

13-9
Recap

You Too, Smug McSnitty

People That You Like Want To See You Suffer - Aitu beats Raro at a reward challenge and wins itself a trip to a fine feast. Then it beats Raro at an immunity challenge and wins itself the opportunity not to go to tribal council, where Raro boots both Rebecca and Jenny.

11.15.2006
11.21.2006
A

admin

13-8
Recap

Brad Idea Jeans

Mutiny (Cook Islands) - "So I told my tribe I have no plans to be loyal to them. What's the worst that could happen?" Oh, Brad. Also: Candice dumps Aitu for Raro. Jonathan reluctantly follows. Aitu becomes a compact ball of fierce challenge energy.

11.08.2006
11.14.2006
B+

admin

13-7
Recap

Roller Away

Why Aren’t You Swimming?! - Two swim/puzzle challenges are split this week as Aitu gets the reward and takes home some food, while Raro gets immunity and sends Aitu to tribal council. Ozzy and Jonathan survive some rumbles about their elimination, and it's poor JessiFlicka who goes home.

11.01.2006
11.07.2006
B

admin

13-6
Recap

Dos Boots

Plan Voodoo - Each tribe has to boot someone this week, even after Aitu beats Raro in a wrestling challenge because it's lucky enough to have...Candice. Cao Boi and Cristina, each of whom has emerged as the designated annoyance of his or her tribe, are sent home.

10.18.2006
10.24.2006
B

admin

13-5
Recap

The Week All The Challenges Had Hugging

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Octopus - This week's challenges require a lot of contact, up close and personal-like, for our various contestants. Adam and Nate prove that they're still the bulkiest big dogs, but when Aitu masters balance first, Raro sends home Stephannie, who's probably really sorry she ever brought up mashed potatoes.

10.11.2006
10.17.2006
B

admin

13-4
Recap

So Much For Muscled Entitlement

Ruling The Roost - After Raro loses a couple of consecutive challenges, for once the "little people" who feel powerless actually get together and knock out of the powerful minority. Goodbye, J.P. You should have been nicer.

10.04.2006
10.10.2006
B+

admin

13-3
Recap

My Alliance-Mate Flicka

Flirting And Frustration - You will not be surprised to hear that the tiny tribes are merged this week into two tribes, or that the tribe with four out of five of the buff dudes on it wins the largely physical challenge. Yul and Jonathan join forces to recruit Cao Boi and Flicka, and it's farewell, Cecilia.

09.27.2006
09.28.2006
B-

admin

13-2
Recap

Bye Bye, Billy

Dire Straits And Dead Weight - Impatient Aitu, under the watchful eye of Ozzy's snooty self-importance, decides to throw a challenge and boot a guy so he can't cost them a challenge. Man, that's genius. They send Billy home, and Candice doesn't even know she's grateful, but she is.

09.20.2006
09.26.2006
B-

admin

13-1
Recap

Off To The Races

I Can Forgive Her But I Don’t Have To Because She Screwed With My Chickens - We begin the thirteenth season with a foray into racial segregation, but the whole thing ultimately breaks down into gender dynamic and the shunning of the pushy guy who wants to run things. So...not really that much of a shocker.

09.13.2006
09.19.2006
B

admin

12-15
Recap

Interrogating Shane's Flapping Shirt

Panama – Exile Island Reunion - The S12 contestants explain...very little, really, other than that it's all good and nobody's bitter. They've all had a great experience -- and they wouldn't dream of telling you what they really think of Aras.

05.13.2006
05.28.2006
B-

admin

12-14
Recap

Not So Fast, Studly

The Final Showdown - Cirie gets a predictable send-off at F4, as many very nice people have gotten before her. Then Chiclets grabs the F3 immunity rather unexpectedly, and she takes Aras -- who beats her. A million dollars will buy a lot of meditation.

05.13.2006
05.19.2006
B

admin

12-13
Recap

Immaturity Forever

Call The Whambulance - Terry and Aras throw down in a variety of ways, but Aras winds up with immunity at tribal council, sending Cirie and Chiclets to a fire-building tiebreaker that is not resolved.

05.10.2006
05.13.2006
B+

admin

12-12
Recap

Don't Come Back, Shane

Bamboozled - Family visits lead to lots of crying and lots of agony, but in the end, Shane's visit with the very famous Boston Powers turns out to be his swan song.

05.03.2006
05.09.2006
B-

admin

12-11
Recap

Cirie Takes A Stand

Perilous Scramble - This week, Terry wins a car, and then he wins immunity, and it looks like Chiclets is set to go. And then it kind of looks like Aras is set to go. But then Cirie decides that keeping the cannon fodder around is not a good plan, and Courtney is the one to take a hike in a rare split vote.

04.26.2006
05.02.2006
B

admin

12-10
Recap

Intestine Your Limits

Medical Emergency - Bruce exits the game because he can't poop. That is all.

04.19.2006
04.25.2006
B-

admin

12-9
Recap

Don't Do Anything Rash

Fight For Your Life Or Eat - Shane has a little irritation, Courtney has her fire toys, and Terry has the immunity necklace again. Goodbye, Sally. Snore.

04.12.2006
04.18.2006
B-

admin

12-8
Recap

Breakfast In Soaking Wet Bed

The Power Of The Idol - Austin and Chiclets spend a couple of days on Exile Island together, and Terry tries to work a couple of deals using his idol for bait. But when nobody bites, Austin heads home. Aw.

04.05.2006
04.11.2006
B-

admin

12-7
Recap

An Emerging What?

An Emerging Plan - They really do call this episode "An Emerging Plan," which is very confusing, because what emerges is the complete lack of a plan, or at least the lack of an interesting plan.

03.29.2006
04.04.2006
B

admin

12-6
Recap

This Is Your Clip Show

Panama – Exile Island: A Closer Look - And Mark Burnett is only too happy to give it to you. See people sing, argue, try to make fire, and do a lot of things you've already seen.

03.14.2006
03.28.2006
B-

admin

12-6
Recap

Astro-not

Salvation And Desertion - La Mina manages to lose yet another challenge, and because Sally is sent to Exile Island, she's not eligible for booting. Thus do we see the departure of Dan, who goes out on a wave of respect and trumpets. In other news, Shane babbles, smokes, and tries to undo the whammy he put on his son.

03.08.2006
03.13.2006
B+

admin

12-5
Recap

Wine, Women, And Intestinal Problems

For Cod’s Sake! - Austin and Nick finally get food, but it doesn't agree with them. Chiclets doesn't agree with Aras, Courtney doesn't agree with Bruce, and President Beefcake doesn't agree with his tribe, and is sent packing.

03.01.2006
03.07.2006
B

admin

12-4
Recap

The Straight Poop

Starvation And Lunacy - Terry finds the individual immunity idol, President Beefcake finds his intestinal comfort zone, and Ruth Marie finds her way home.

02.22.2006
02.28.2006
B

admin

12-3
Recap

Oof! Kapow!

Crazy Fights, Snake Dinners - A crazy wrestling challenge highlights this episode, in which Bruce returns to Exile Island, La Mina wins a reward challenge, and Misty is sent home.

02.15.2006
02.21.2006
A

admin

12-2
Recap

"I Quit. No, I Don't. Wait, What Was The Question?"

Breakdown - After the tribes reshuffle into two more conventional tribes, the tribe of people who don't entirely suck beats the tribe of people who do, and Shane wants to go home. But unfortunately, he changes his mind and Melinda goes home instead.

02.08.2006
02.14.2006
B

admin

12-1
Recap

Banished! Stand Over There!

The First Exile - The game begins again in Panama, where the setting is familiar but the tribe structure is a little funky.

02.01.2006
02.07.2006
B

admin

11-15
Recap

A Million Dollars' Worth Of Lip Venom

Guatemala Reunion - Danni and her pouty, poochy lips celebrate victory over Steph and her ginormous hair. There is less bitterness than usual, as the group has failed to settle as thoroughly on a single villain as it has in the past. Without an overdose of vitriol, there's just nothing to see.

12.10.2005
12.25.2005
B-

admin

11-14
Recap

Two Skinny Chicks Going At It

Thunder Storms & Sacrifice - Rafe wins immunity, and Lydia goes home. Then Danni wins immunity, and Rafe goes home. Then Danni wins a million dollars, and the jury isn't nearly as obnoxious as usual.

12.10.2005
12.17.2005
B+

admin

11-13
Recap

Booted If You Do, Booted If You Don't

Big Win, Big Decision, Big Mistake? - At F5, Cindy manages to win a car, but winds up with the worst reward ever when she's offered the opportunity to give up the car so that the rest can have cars instead. She doesn't. She's booted.

12.07.2005
12.10.2005
B

admin

11-12
Recap

Man, Overboard

Price For Immunity - Things are nicely aligned for the powerful foursome of Judd, Steph, Cindy, and Rafe to roll over poor Lydia and Danni. But it doesn't quite happen that way. I'm not going to tell you what happens, but man, oh, man, it's pretty satisfying.

11.30.2005
12.06.2005
B

admin

11-11
Recap

Lydia Makes Her Move

Everything Is Personal - The popularity-contest challenge throws Lydia right out of the Big Five, but it's Gary whose luck finally runs out. Adios, Hogeboom.

11.23.2005
11.30.2005
B-

admin

11-10
Recap

Sleeping And Eating With The Enemy

Eating And Sleeping With The Enemy - Jamie's paranoia finally annoys everyone enough to bust up the majority alliance.

11.16.2005
11.21.2005
B

admin

11-9
Recap

No More Hungry Minnows

Secrets And Lies And An Idol Surprise - Bobby Jon is probably only third in line for a boot this week, behind Jamie and Gary. But see, Jamie wins immunity. And then Gary unexpectedly produces the hidden idol at the last minute. This leaves...Bobby Jon. Poor Bobby Jon.

11.09.2005
11.15.2005
B

admin

11-8
Recap

The Farmer And The Dull

The Hidden Immunity Idol - This week's episode presents a fairly simple question: how wimpy are Rafe and Cindy? And the answer is: pretty wimpy. Despite Jamie's distasteful behavior post-merge, the former Nakum stick together and send Farmer Beavis packing.

11.02.2005
11.08.2005
B-

admin

11-7
Recap

Mergers And Acquisitions

Surprise Enemy Visit - Yaxha is sent to another tribal council, and while it looks briefly like Amy may get up a revolt going to oust Bobby Jon, she and her bum ankle ultimately take the fall. And then Probst performs a spontaneous merge, so you can bid farewell to Camp Yaxha for good.

10.26.2005
10.31.2005
B-

admin

11-6
Recap

Two For The Price Of One

Big Ball, Big Mouth, Big Trouble - This week is a double-elimination episode, bringing both tribes to the fire to commit unfortunate bootings. Adios, Brian and Margaret.

10.19.2005
10.25.2005
B

admin

11-5
Recap

Go, Go, Golden Boy

Crocs, Cowboys And City Slickers - Brian, Gary, and Amy are clearly outnumbered by the former Nakum, so it makes sense that, when their tribe loses, they'll go home, right? You'd think so, but don't be so sure. Blake's girlfriend has really big boobs, and believe it or not, that's relevant.

10.12.2005
10.18.2005
B-

admin

11-4
Recap

Asleep At The Switch

To Betray Or Not To Betray - Jeff mixes up the tribes this week, sending Bobby Jon and the buff-monsters over to Yaxha and sending Steph and the challenge-tankers over to Nakum. The predictable reversal of fortunes ensues, and Steph finds herself back at tribal council. Brooke, we hardly knew ye. Seriously.

10.05.2005
10.11.2005
B-

admin

11-3
Recap

Termites Of Endearment

The Brave May Not Live Long, But The Cautious Don’t Live At All - Yaxha is on the ropes, and Nakum is on a roll. Stephenie has caught a case of Rupertitis, while Bobby Jon has caught a case of Chicks Don't Tell Me What To Do. In the end, the boot is, again, predictable.

09.28.2005
10.04.2005
B-

admin

11-2
Recap

Quarterback, Sneak

Man Down - While Nakum continues to recover from its early injuries, Gary is faced with an identity crisis, in that his is in danger of being discovered. The boot itself is fairly routine, but at least there's mud.

09.21.2005
09.27.2005
B

admin

11-1
Recap

Reconstituted Beefcake

Big Trek, Big Trouble, Big Surprise - Bobby and Jon and Steph return in the premiere of this new, dehydrated season. The teams take a nasty eleven-mile hike that leaves a few of the studs looking less than studly, and if you can't see the boot coming, you're not even trying.

09.14.2005
09.20.2005
A

admin

10-15
Recap

Grace Deferred

Palau Reunion - As usual, the reunion offers many opportunities for contestants to behave gracefully in light of their past boob-like behavior. And as usual, few of those opportunities are capitalized upon.

05.14.2005
05.27.2005
B-

admin

10-14
Recap

Tom-Foolery

The Ultimate Shock - From F4, we get rid of Anonymous Jenn in a surprisingly tense tribal council where Tom turns on Ian. Then at F3, Ian is guilted into quitting the game, which Jeff Probst somehow suddenly thinks is a mark of integrity, and then Tom beats Katie in F2, and there you go. But at least everyone followed his conscience, or something.

05.14.2005
05.21.2005
B

admin

10-13
Recap

My Other Car Is A Pontiac Aztek

It Could All Backfire - Ian wins the car, but when he takes Tom on the ensuing reward dinner, Katie becomes irate and resolves to team up with Caryn and A-Jenn and remove the men. But Ian comes back and begs for forgiveness, for whatever reason, and Katie returns to the fold in time to throw out a grumpy Caryn.

05.11.2005
05.14.2005
B-

admin

10-12
Recap

The Big Move

We’ll Make You Pay - Ian and Tom begin to see the writing on the wall as far as Katie's desire to flip over to Gregg and Anonymous Jenn goes, so along with Caryn, they pull together a plan to force a tie by voting for Gregg. When they pull in a nervous Katie, they avoid the tie and Gregg goes home. It's more exciting than it sounds.

05.04.2005
05.09.2005
A

admin

10-11
Recap

The Ulong Goodbye

I’ll Show You How Threatening I Am - Steph is the very last member of Ulong standing in the game. Can she live to fight another day? Can she get the women into an alliance? Can she resist crying at her letter from home? Can she get luckier than a burger and fries? The answer to all these questions is the same.

04.27.2005
05.03.2005
B

admin

10-10
Recap

Quitting Time

Exile Island - Janu is mocked, and then sent off by herself, and then taken to task at tribal council, at which point she quits. Steph sneaks by for another week, we learn a little about claustrophobia, and Tom and Ian confront the realities of math.

04.20.2005
04.25.2005
B

admin

10-9
Recap

My immunity for a donut!

I Will Not Give Up - After Steph is brought over for a merge with Koror, the team learns to fish, and Coby finds another thing to be wounded about. Then the perch-standing immunity challenge ends in large-scale wimping out, and Tom gets immunity. Coby, who has managed to irritate the crap out of practically everyone, goes home. Yay!

04.13.2005
04.19.2005
B

admin

10-8
Recap

Sucking At Puzzles

Neanderthal Man - Bobby Jon and Steph lose another reward challenge when they can't eat partially formed ducklings fast enough, and they lose another immunity when they haven't gotten any better at puzzles since last week. So they have to face each other in an individual challenge, and Bobby Jon winds up taking a walk. Aww.

04.06.2005
04.10.2005
B+

admin

10-7
Recap

Okay, Three Isn't A Totally Magic Number

The Great White Shark Hunter - Ulong is so small that it can only get smaller, and it does, sending Ibrehem home. Also, there is the stalking and killing of a shark. In other words, the laws of nature are all in full effect.

03.30.2005
04.05.2005
B

admin

10-6
Recap

Rope-a-Dope

Jellyfish ‘N Chips - Surprisingly, Ulong actually wins a challenge, in this case allowing them to head off for an encounter with jellyfish and Pringles. But when it comes to the immunity challenge, their ability to tie knots proves inadequate again, and they head to tribal council and boot James. It's about time.

03.22.2005
03.29.2005
B

admin

10-5
Recap

I Double-Dog Boot You

The Best And Worst Reward Ever - Both tribes have to head to tribal council this week, and while Koror undertakes a fairly routine old-man booting, Ulong gets a little flummoxed and winds up booting Angie. Poor Tattoo Girl.

03.15.2005
03.21.2005
B

admin

10-4
Recap

The Easiest Booting Ever

Sumo At Sea - If you're Ulong, the bad thing about this week is losing, like, again. And again. The good thing is that you still have Kim to give away for free.

03.09.2005
03.14.2005
B

admin

10-3
Recap

Thick, Ankled

Dangerous Creatures And Horrible Setbacks - Jeffie bows after he hurts um widdle ankle. Poor Jeffie!

03.02.2005
03.08.2005
B

admin

10-2
Recap

Snugglebunnies And Girls Who Don't Eat

Love Is In The Air, Rats Are Everywhere - After Ulong loses its reward-challenge momentum and blows another immunity challenge, it winds up back at tribal council, trying to decide whether to boot the lagging Ashlee or the lame and coupled-up Kim. As usual, they make the wrong call and boot Ashlee.

02.23.2005
03.01.2005
B

admin

10-1
Recap

Palau, Right In the Kisser

This Has Never Happened Before! - An even more ungainly collection of weirdos than usual ponies up for the big trip to Palau. Three are gone in the first hour. Whew! Think they'll keep that up? Season could be over pretty soon.

02.16.2005
02.20.2005
B

admin

9-15
Recap

Welcome To The Ami/Julie/Leann Show

Vanuatu – Islands Of Fire Reunion - You'd almost think Jeff had some special fondness for specific contestants, so blatant is his insistence on concentrating on them to the exclusion of everyone else.

12.11.2004
12.23.2004
C

admin

9-14
Recap

It's Totally About Integrity

Spirits And The Final Four - Chris, Eliza, Twila, and Scout are the final four, and if you're not thinking fairly early that this indicates a Chris victory, you haven't been paying attention. And indeed it does, as he snags both immunity challenges, boots Eliza and then Scout, and goes to the F2 with Twila, where Twila learns that she has burned a few too many bridges to go back now.

12.11.2004
12.17.2004
C

admin

9-13
Recap

Chris Makes His Move

Eruptions Of A Volcanic Magnitude! - The time has come for Chris either to stick with Twila and Scout, or go with Julie and Eliza. While he swears allegiance to both sides, he eventually concludes that he'd rather be in the final three with an artificial knee than Julie, the only person left with no enemies. Goodbye, Julie. Nice try.

12.08.2004
12.11.2004
B

admin

9-12
Recap

Requiem For A Queen Bee

Now Who’s In Charge Here?! - Following the power shift of last week, Ami's booting seems inevitable. But to pull it off, Eliza will have to withstand a barrage of emotional manipulation that seems excessive, even for this show. Will Eliza hold up? She will.

12.01.2004
12.06.2004
B+

admin

9-11
Recap

Everyone With The Game Wrapped Up...

Surprise! And…Surprise Again! - ...take one step forward. Not so fast, Ami. This week, Twila knocks Chris over the head (figuratively speaking) until he gets a clue, and he, Eliza, Scout, and Twila finally move against Ami's power clique. Thank goodness.

11.24.2004
12.01.2004
B

admin

9-10
Recap

Hanging Chad

Culture Shock And Violent Storms - Oh, we had to do that. Anyway, it's another week in which the women stick together, twitter at each other, and vote off a guy -- in this case, Chad. Miss Alli says, "Farewell, my lovely. I shall miss you."

11.17.2004
11.22.2004
F

admin

9-9
Recap

Some Pig

Gender Wars…And It’s Getting Ugly - Leann wins a reward challenge and takes Julie for a volcano picnic. Ami wins immunity and guarantees herself another week of irritating everyone. Everything goes as planned, and the women vote off another one of the men. Wake Miss Alli up if anything happens.

11.10.2004
11.16.2004
C-

admin

9-8
Recap

All For One And One For The Road

Now The Battle Really Begins - It was a good effort, but Rory can't overcome the odds that have been hounding him for weeks. When the tribes merge and Julie and Twila are asked to choose sides, they give strong indications that they're going with the women.

11.03.2004
11.09.2004
C

admin

9-7
Recap

A Grown-Ass Man Saves His Grown Ass

Anger, Threats, Tears…And Coffee - Rory takes his fate into his own hands with a slingshot, and his team manages to set itself up with an infusion of caffeine. When John slacks off a little too much and Julie and Twila make some inroads with Lopevi, the last of the pretty young men takes it on the chin and heads home.

10.27.2004
11.01.2004
C+

admin

9-6
Recap

You Mean "Chopping Block." CHOPPING BLOCK, YOU FOOL!

Hog Tied - Rory? By the way? You also mean "hot seat." You seriously, seriously do.

10.20.2004
10.23.2004
B-

admin

9-5
Recap

I Feel The Earth Move...Zzzzz...

Earthquakes And Shake Ups! - This week, a natural disaster brings a tiny bit of excitement, and a tribe shakeup brings a tiny bit more. But of course, any risk that anything will change is eliminated by the way they run the "shakeup," so things stay exactly the same, and the same people stick together, and Bubba -- sent to a tribe with a majority of women -- goes home.

10.13.2004
10.18.2004
B-

admin

9-4
Recap

The Brady Punch

Now That’s A Reward - This show is just determined to cleanse itself of everything that might cause impure thoughts, isn't it? The latest to leave is Brady, who was prettiest of all. Sigh.

10.06.2004
10.10.2004
C+

admin

9-3
Recap

Two, Two, Two Boots In One

Double Tribal, Double Trouble - We're getting rid of two castaways this week, and the elimination of the young and cute continues as Mia and J.P. get their walking papers. Also: Volcanoes!

09.29.2004
10.05.2004
C+

admin

9-2
Recap

Goodbye, Dolly

Burly Girls, Bowheads, Young Studs And The Old Bunch - Bats in the daytime! Fish out of water! Molten stone spewing forth from the earth's very core! The Tribal Council's presumptive swing voter being sent home herself! What kind of crazy, mixed-up place is this, anyway?

09.22.2004
09.27.2004
C+

admin

9-1
Recap

For The Lava God, Here We Go Again

They Came At Us With Spears - The bloated new cast arrives in an idyllic South Pacific island nation, where the water is blue and the women are lucky if anybody even acknowledges that they're there. Believe it or not, the men's team fails to boot the guy who screws up the first challenge. Shocking.

09.15.2004
09.19.2004
C+

admin

8-17
Recap

A Million To Whine

America’s Tribal Council (a.k.a. More With The All-Stars) - Rupert was sad that he didn't win, and apparently, much of America was, too. So he should get a million dollars just because, don't you think? Oh, us, too.

05.12.2004
05.27.2004

admin

8-16
Recap

The Rupert Show Returns

All-Star Reunion - The aftermath of Rob and Amber's engagement, while a rather silly moment, pales in comparison to the latest "twist." Put on your boots, America, because CBS is lining up to lick them.

05.08.2004
05.23.2004
C-

admin

8-15
Recap

The Triumph Of The Waif

The Sole Surviving All-Star - After knocking off Rupert and Jenna, Rob and Amber proceed to the final two, where they sit through an endless string of pathetic jury speeches before the jury predictably hands the money to Amber, or as she is known to the jurors, "Not the guy who outplayed my sorry ass."

05.08.2004
05.15.2004
B

admin

8-14
Recap

Cinema Para-grease-o

The Instigator - Rob wins himself a truck, and when he takes Amber to a drive-in movie, it turns out that she wins a car as well. They return just in time to make sure that Big Tom and Rupert don't get up to any mischief. Indeed they do not, and Big Tom finds that Rob and Amber intend to hold to their four-person alliance with Rupert and Jenna, meaning that he is on his way to the jury.

05.05.2004
05.08.2004
B-

admin

8-13
Recap

Enough With The Postponing...On With The Inevitable!

A Chapera Surprise - Shii Ann continues maneuvering as cracks appear in the Chapera alliance over plantains, fishing, and who, between Rupert and Jenna, is more annoying. The loved ones show up for a gross food challenge, and Shii Ann comes surprisingly close to winning immunity for herself, but in the end it is time for the final Mogo Mogo to go.

04.28.2004
05.04.2004
C+

admin

8-12
Recap

What Passes For Shii Ann's "Big Move"

Stupid People. Stupid, Stupid People - Shii Ann manages to pull down immunity for once, and she completely squanders the opportunity by being an even bigger obnoxious brat than she's been up to this point. Good one, genius.

04.21.2004
04.27.2004
B-

admin

8-11
Recap

A Thoughtful Gesture Or A Deceptive Plan?

A Thoughtful Gesture Or A Deceptive Plan? - Rob gives up his reward to appease the tribe, and Kathy goes home.

04.14.2004
04.20.2004
B-

admin

8-10
Recap

It's Not "Show Friends," It's "Show Business"

Anger, Tears And Chaos - The merge comes at last, and Lex is all excited about the fact that he has this big marker from Rob on which he can collect. Of course, Rob had his fingers crossed, and the no-brainer that is Lex's ouster quickly follows. Oh, Lex. You big dummy.

04.07.2004
04.10.2004
B

admin

8-9
Recap

The Shuffle That Didn't

Mad Scramble And Broken Hearts - Theoretically, there's a complete reshuffling of the tribes. In practice, Amber is moved to Mogo Mogo and the tribes trade camps. Rob is sad, and manages to convince Lex to keep Amber and get rid of Jerri. The better to Pagong you with, my dear.

03.31.2004
04.05.2004
B-

admin

8-8
Recap

Everything Old Is New Again

A Closer Look (a.k.a. All-Star Redux) - If by "new," you mean "still old, but being replayed as filler." There are about three segments that are interesting that we haven't already seen, but for the most part, this is trademark Burnett time-wasting, and if you never see it, you'll never miss it.

03.24.2004
03.29.2004
B-

admin

8-8
Recap

Fishing For Compliments

Pick A Tribemate - A reward challenge allows Chapera to swipe the fishing spear, setting up a showdown between Rupert and Rob. Later, an immunity-challenge loss sends Mogo Mogo to tribal council, where Lex assures Ethan that it's just business as he has him dispatched.

03.16.2004
03.22.2004
B-

admin

8-7
Recap

The Champagne And The Challenge Spaz

Sorry…I Blew It - A combined immunity/reward challenge goes poorly for Mogo Mogo after Ethan breaks the equipment and loses his knot-tying ability at a key moment. Chapera takes Kathy along for a day of rest and booze, while power shifts at Mogo Mogo lead to the departure of Colby. Goodbye, shiny cowboy teeth.

03.10.2004
03.13.2004
B-

admin

8-6
Recap

What It Takes To Walk

Outraged - After Sue spends twenty-four hours thinking about Hatch and his Adventures In Inappropriate Touching, she decides that it's time to leave, and after unloading on Probst for a bit, that's exactly what she does. It's quite possibly the least enjoyable episode of Survivor ever.

03.03.2004
03.08.2004
C-

admin

8-5
Recap

The Naked And The Figuratively Dead

I’ve Been Bamboozled! - This week brings a raft-building challenge at which Rupert again falls flatter than a bad soufflé, and then the dismantling of the increasingly pitiful Saboga. The two remaining tribes face off at a controversy-packed immunity challenge, sending the mighty Mogo Mogo to its first tribal council. Ethan? Colby? Why, no. Wonder of wonders, they've thrown out Hatch.

02.25.2004
03.02.2004
B+

admin

8-4
Recap

The Rubbing Out of Amazon Rob

Wipe Out! - A storm stresses out the tribes, except for Chapera, which is too busy snuggling to notice. When the dust settles, Rupert is struggling to reestablish himself, and Jerri is struggling to stay sane. Chapera brings home another reward, but when they bungle the immunity challenge, it is time to say goodbye to Rob Cesternino. Back to the basement, my friend.

02.18.2004
02.21.2004
C+

admin

8-3
Recap

Jenna Jumps

Shark Attack - The teams compete in a reward challenge to rebuild their shelters to a higher standard. Rupert leads his team to tank yet again, while Chapera chalks up another good performance and takes the crown. The bootings, meanwhile, are interrupted by the heavily spoiled voluntary exit of one Jenna Morasca.

02.11.2004
02.16.2004
B

admin

8-2
Recap

The Removal Of Rudy

Panicked, Desperate, Thirsty As Hell - A reward challenge finally gets the teams fire, as Rudy limps and Saboga watches with concern. Chapera continues to roll, and Mogo Mogo just tries to figure out whether Hatch is ever going to put any clothes on. When Saboga boots the immunity challenge, thanks largely to Ethan, they have to go to tribal council again, where Rudy takes the fall.

02.04.2004
02.09.2004
B

admin

8-1
Recap

Tina Tumbles

They’re Back! - The eighteen All-Stars arrive in Panama in three tribes. Don't drink the water. HEY! That means you, Sue Hawk.

01.31.2004
02.04.2004
A

admin

7-15
Recap

More On Morons

Pearl Islands Reunion - The survivors sit around and flap their yaps with Jeff, although nobody really needed to show up except Rupert, Jon, and Osten. If you like those three knuckleheads, you're going to love this special.

12.13.2003
12.28.2003
C-

admin

7-14
Recap

Sandra Can Get Loud, Too

Flames And Endurance - And get loud she does. Especially when they hand over the million dollars to her. Darrah falls victim to her own streak of immunities, Jon falls victim to Lill's weird sense of morality, and the rest pretty much makes sense.

12.13.2003
12.19.2003
B+

admin

7-13
Recap

The Sweet Taste Of Crow

Mutiny - Burton and Jon head off for a reward challenge together, sure that when they get back, everything will be fine. Which works great, except for the fact that when by the time they get back, the three women they left behind have formed a new alliance that proceeds to vote Burton's arrogant ass straight to Loserville. Farewell, you big creep.

12.10.2003
12.13.2003
A

admin

7-12
Recap

Sponge Bath, Flare Pants

Would You Be My Brutus Today? - Three castaways head for a spa retreat. They all practice up on their shooting, and the alliances are constantly shifting. When a plan to align the women falls short, Christa has to gather up her stupid hair and go home. It's about time.

12.03.2003
12.08.2003
B-

admin

7-11
Recap

Reports Of Granny Fairplay's Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

The Great Lie - Sandra says she didn't dump the fish, but she did. Jon says his granny died, but she didn't. Tijuana says she understands strategy, but she doesn't. Goodbye, Tijuana. May the elastic in your buff grow a bit more resilient.

11.26.2003
12.03.2003
B

admin

7-10
Recap

The Rupert Show Is Cancelled

Swimming With Sharks - Finally, we manage to rid ourselves of Rupert, who is blindsided by an alliance made up of Burton, Jon, Lill, and the women of the former Morgan tribe. This causes him to go completely insane. Watch the fireworks!

11.19.2003
11.25.2003
B+

admin

7-9
Recap

Rumblings Of Mutiny

Shocking! Simply Shocking! - Rupert's position may not be as secure as he thinks, as everyone in the tribe takes a stab at scheming against him. Well, except Tijuana and Darrah, because they're resting. A lot. In the end, though, it's time for Ryan-O to go, so he shuffles off to Juryland, taking his scraggly appearance and his increasingly sunken face with him.

11.12.2003
11.15.2003
B-

admin

7-8
Recap

Andrew's Own Medicine Tastes Terrible

What The…?, Part II - Lill and Burton are coming back to Morgan and Drake respectively, just in time for the merge. Lill is the crying-on-the-inside kind of angry Scout, and there's nowhere to hide for Andrew when she teams up with Burton and the rest of Drake to take him out.

11.05.2003
11.11.2003
B

admin

7-7
Recap

The Pecs Take A Powder

What The…?, Part I - In this plot-heavy episode, the remaining members of Drake and Morgan are stunned at the return of those they've already booted. When both tribes are faced with voting someone out, Shawn gets the short end of a showdown between himself and Jon, while Osten ends the suspense by quitting, to the evident disgust of Jeff Probst. Good times.

10.29.2003
11.04.2003
B+

admin

7-6
Recap

On Lying Down With Snakes

Me And My Snake - Balboa's brief moment in the spotlight comes to an end, despite the best efforts of burlap-bag therapy. Drake takes the reward challenge and loads up on protein, but they stumble at the immunity challenge when Andrew puts on a show of good shoulders. Trish tries to get the super-smug Rupert out sooner rather than later, but she trusts the wrong people and her plot is revealed. Goodbye, Trish.

10.22.2003
10.28.2003
C+

admin

7-5
Recap

Smoothie Operators

Everyone’s Hero - Drake futzes two more challenges -- dropping a boat-steering contest primarily to Osten, of all people, and then dropping a disgusting-food-eating competition to Darrah. Of, you know, all people. It all leads up to the anticlimactic booting of the all-around weak Michelle.

10.15.2003
10.20.2003
C+

admin

7-4
Recap

Burton's Plan Is All Wet

Pick A Castaway…Any Castaway - Another water challenge almost drowns Osten, but only manages to sink his team. Burton's brilliant plan to throw the immunity challenge blows up in his face just the teeniest bit when his tribe gives him its inaugural boot. Oops.

10.08.2003
10.14.2003
B-

admin

7-3
Recap

Strangers In A Train Wreck

United We Stand, Divided We…? - The Morgan meltdown continues as they blow a reward challenge as a result of literally sinking themselves, and then they blow an immunity challenge as a result of Osten's failing arms. Will they boot Lill or Darrah? Will Andrew ever stop being such a total jackass? Also, the ethics of thievery, the physics of buoyancy, and the politics of treachery.

10.01.2003
10.05.2003
B-

admin

7-2
Recap

Spear Factor

To Quit Or Not To Quit - Andrew is the worst leader ever. Sandra pillages a tarp. Shawn loses what's pointy. Rupert finds it again. Christa thinks Shawn is a big "puss," but only because she doesn't know Osten. But hey, heart schmart. What we need on the Morgan tribe are pecs. Adios, Ryan Shoulders. You have the most ironic name ever.

09.24.2003
09.30.2003
B-

admin

7-1
Recap

Yo-Ho-Ho And A Bottle Of Dumb

Beg, Barter, Steal - This is the tale of two tribes, their first three days of isolation, and their efforts to pass time together without walking into anything or swallowing their tongues. Eventually, straplessness is declared the worst sin of all, and poor Nicole is sent packing.

09.17.2003
09.20.2003
B

admin

6-14
Recap

Mother's Day Massacre

Amazon Reunion - Jenna gets a visit from the bronzer fairy, Matthew gets a visit from Edward Scissorshands, Peachy gets a visit from his sparkly mother, and the audience gets a visit from Rudy! Also, Christy reveals her reason for voting for Jenna. Although in this case, "reason" can be more clearly defined as "incomprehensible, bizarre, and totally random explanation."

05.10.2003
05.21.2003
C-

admin

6-13
Recap

The Cheese Stands Alone

…And Then There Were Four - And likely naked, too -- at least, if there's any peanut butter and chocolate involved. Jenna takes it all this week on Survivor, which is very different than the "Jenna takes it all off this month in Playboy" conclusion the viewing audience expected.

05.10.2003
05.16.2003
C+

admin

6-12
Recap

Busted!

The Amazon Heats Up - HeiDDi puts the "bust" in "busted" this week as she goes on about being the "mastermind" of the game, then gets voted out. Butch borrows Elaine's dance from Seinfeld, kicking up not only his heels, but his knees and elbows, as well. Also, Matthew wins a car but can't use it to drive back home. You can't drive to Pluto, people!

05.07.2003
05.09.2003
B+

admin

6-11
Recap

Romance Is in the Heir

Sour Grapes - Matthew wins a "romantic" evening with his purty mother in this week's episode. HeiDDi cries a lot, and turns her back on Rob. It's not the turned back that bothers him so much, though, as the turned front. He likes the boobies! Also, Butch keeps busy believing in himself. And in the bottle.

04.30.2003
05.06.2003
B+

admin

6-10
Recap

Robin Hood

Q & A - Rob steals from the rich to reward the poor this week as he throw his vote in with the downtrodden Matthew, Christy, and Butch to get rid of Alex. Christy prudently plans to win a letter from home, while Jenna poutily pouts to win the same. Later, the tribe gangs up to declare Jenna sex-weapon-wielding, incapable-of-surviving, and not fit for nude modeling, so all is good.

04.23.2003
04.29.2003
A

admin

6-9
Recap

Mostly-Seen-Before Footage

Amazon Redux - It's time for the clips show, and we all know what that means: lowlights and mostly-seen-before footage. Christy and Davey Rockett swing dance, Rob enthuses over HeiDDi's "manmade" beauties, and the original Jaburu tribe samples Jeanne's homemade delicacies: her very own fuzzy balls.

04.16.2003
04.22.2003
C-

admin

6-9
Recap

A Bug in the System

The Chain - More precisely, there are several bugs in Matthew's system, after he enthusiastically downs them during the immunity challenge. There's a bug in Deena's system, too, as her trusted alliance turns around and votes her out.

04.09.2003
04.16.2003
B

admin

6-8
Recap

Bare Asses and Bad-Asses

Sleeping With The Enemy (Amazon) - Jenna's bare ass makes yet another appearance this week as she loses her pants twice during the reward challenge. And she doesn't even get any chocolate and peanut butter for it this time. All in all, Jenna proves herself fairly ass-centric during this episode, as she obsessively picks a wedgie and sticks her hand down not only her own pants, but HeiDDi's, as well. Later, Davey Rockett gets voted out for being a bad-ass.

04.02.2003
04.08.2003
B

admin

6-7
Recap

Roger That

Girls Gone Wilder - Roger gets the message loud and clear this week as he becomes the first ejected member of the new Jackée tribe. The audience gets the message too, although we think we are being given the wrong message, and then are surprised to find out that it was the right message all along.

03.25.2003
04.01.2003
B+

admin

6-6
Recap

Roll With It

More Than Meats The Eye - The tribes compete for spices and fruit by rolling on a giant log. Not surprisingly, Davey Rockett excels. Christy also does well against stick-figure Jenna, and in the process wins the respect (or at least the pretense of the respect) of her tribe.

03.18.2003
03.25.2003
B+

admin

6-5
Recap

Shuffle, Then Deal

Pick-Up Sticks - Tribes are mixed up and the Axis of Skeevil suffers a fatal blow. Meanwhile, Dave maneuvers, Jenna gives it up, Deena takes a tumble, Alex takes one for the team, Shawna makes a miraculous recovery, and in the end, Jeanne makes a highly predictable exit.

03.12.2003
03.18.2003
B-

admin

6-4
Recap

Heidi, Queen of Snots

Trapped - Heidi flings herself over the edge of Irritating right into the canyon of Completely Hateful, just in time to preside over the departure of Joanna. Elsewhere, the men sing, Shawna flags, and piranhas are not fooling around.

03.05.2003
03.11.2003
B-

admin

6-3
Recap

Everybody in a Lather

Girl Power - This week, Jaburu finally pulls it together. They build a roof, they clean the camp, they take two more challenges, and they come out smelling like roses. Literally. Oh, and the men get rid of Daniel.

02.26.2003
02.28.2003
B-

admin

6-2
Recap

Hear No Evil, See No Evil

Storms - Christy may not be able to hear, but she doesn't need all five senses to know what Joanna's hand-in-the-face is telling her. In the men's camp, Roger makes a case against homosexuality and, in the process, for his own undeniable, arrogant ignorance. Also, some cute little piggies make an appearance! Whew-hoo!

02.19.2003
02.24.2003
B

admin

6-1
Recap

Battle of the Sexists

Boys vs. Girls - In this season's "shocking twist," the group is divided into two tribes: the chauvinist pigs versus the incompetently clueless. Or at least that's the way the episode is edited. The men seem capable of talking only about how great they are and how hot the women are, while the women immediately get down to the priority task of laundering their buffs.

02.12.2003
02.18.2003
B-

admin

5-14
Recap

Peachy Pie(hole)

Thailand Reunion - Just Peachy cuts loose in this season's reunion show, but even with the incessant prattle and the interrupting and the unflagging badgering of Jan, he still bests the songfest and egofests of seasons past.

12.18.2002
01.02.2003
B

admin

5-13
Recap

Booty Duty

Slip Through Your Fingers - The S3 try to keep six coins wedged between their fingers while maintaining an uncomfortable pose, and Brian prevails, skilled as he probably is at maintaining uncomfortable positions. Helen gets voted off first, and much scowling ensues. But despite it all, Helen still luuuuuurves Brian.

12.18.2002
12.26.2002
B

admin

5-12
Recap

Mr. Sleeze

The Tides Are Turning - Brian rambles on this week about being Mr. Freeze and throwing sliders and stringing people along, and then later he rambles some more about the disposability of Jan, his soldier Helen, and his good friend Clay, to whom he may or may not give the finger. Also, Ted gets very, very happy, likely because he gets very, very drunk. He then gets very, very voted off.

12.11.2002
12.18.2002
C+

admin

5-11
Recap

If They Come, You Will Build It

A Big Surprise…And Another - And if you build it fast enough, you will win this week's immunity challenge! The S6 emerge from the "Jungle of Dreams" to participate in both challenges this week. Jake and Jenny may make with the tongue, but it's Ted and his brother who get horizontal.

12.04.2002
12.10.2002
C-

admin

5-10
Recap

Just Peachy's Clippings

Thailand: A Closer Look - Just Peachy's toenail clippings are about as exciting as this season's pitiful "special" clips show. But then again, for a select number of the viewing population, Just Peachy's toenail clippings might be more exciting than a darned good "special" clips show.

11.26.2002
12.05.2002
D+

admin

5-10
Recap

When an Elephant Walks By With an Itty Bitty Waist and a Round Thing in Clay's Face...

While The Cats Are Away - ...he gets sprung! Because Clay likes big butts. He also like little butts. Male butts, female butts, human or animal -- doesn't matter to Clay. Clay just likes the butts!

11.20.2002
11.26.2002
C+

admin

5-9
Recap

Recipe for Dis-ass-ter

Desperate Measures - Take one recipe-spouting Helen and add a helping of Brian's ass-shaking wife. Combine with Clay drool, Ted spooge, Jan's "clavage" and Jake's butt-shot deer before sprinkling in some Penny to (dis)taste. Mix well and bake on high for twenty-seven days before removing the burned Ken from the game.

11.13.2002
11.19.2002
C+

admin

5-8
Recap

Smense And Smensibility

Sleeping With The Enemy - The competitors demonstrate the absolute worst performance of any challenge on all five seasons of Survivor as they prove themselves incapable of holding their breath for longer than twenty-five seconds. Sook Jai bemoans its fourth straight Tribal Council throughout the episode's remaining 3,575 seconds, and Brian invents a fun, new word.

11.06.2002
11.12.2002
C

admin

5-7
Recap

The Merge That Wasn't There

Assumptions - They're down to ten this week, and it's time for the merge. But there's no merger after all, even though the tribes thought there was. Instead, they're just living together. Religious zealots across the world disapprove.

10.30.2002
11.05.2002
B-

admin

5-6
Recap

Feel the Warmth of a Cold (Bat) Nose

The Power Of One - Jan becomes emotionally invested in the welfare of a dead baby bat named Oscar. Meanwhile, Robb becomes emotionally invested in himself and leads the other members of Sook Jai on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery. He then leads himself on a different journey -- down the path and straight out of Thailand.

10.23.2002
10.30.2002
C+

admin

5-5
Recap

Therein Lies the Grub

The Ocean’s Surprise - It's time for the seasonal food auction, and for some very expensive seasoned grubs. And grubs may not be a delicacy in Shii Devil's native land, but chicken necks sure are! Also, Helen is inspired to sing, and televisions across the world are inspired to shut off.

10.16.2002
10.23.2002
C+

admin

5-4
Recap

Ratings Bananza!

Gender Bender - Actually, last week's episode was the ratings cash cow, what with the attempted strangulation and illicit sexual behavior and all, but who doesn't love a good pun? Don't answer that. This week's episode may b e throttle-free, but there are dummies and chickens and loads of bananas.

10.09.2002
10.16.2002
B

admin

5-3
Recap

Neck and Neck

Family Values - Chuay Gahn and Sook Jai are neck and neck in the reward challenge. They're also hands and neck, as Robb attempts to throttle Clay, then gets upset by the choking noises Clay emits. Because people should just be quiet while choking, dude! Also, lots of crabs make little sand balls with their claws. It's weird, all right.

10.02.2002
10.09.2002
A+

admin

5-2
Recap

Lost at Senile

The Great Divide - Jan and Helen get lost on an excursion, causing Helen -- if she only had a gun -- to threaten to shoot Jan. Except not really. Except kind of. What a case for gun control! Except not really. Except kind of.

09.25.2002
10.02.2002
B-

admin

5-1
Recap

Thai Idol

The Importance Of Being Eldest - No, it's not a foreign spin-off of America's new hit television talent show; it's the newest season of Survivor. This time around, they're in Thailand, and they're just as freaktastic as ever.

09.18.2002
09.25.2002
C+

admin

4-14
Recap

They're Back, and They Can't Get a Word In! Whew-Hoo!

Marquesas Reunion - Rosie O'Donnell hosts this year's reunion show, and it's complete and utter mayhem. Boring complete and utter mayhem, which is a feat in itself. Rosie's all over the place, and the S16 just try to keep up with her non-linear mode of questioning. They win Saturns for their efforts.

05.18.2002
06.01.2002
B-

admin

4-13
Recap

Goodbye, Scuttling Crabs!

The Sole Survivor - So long, stern-looking tikis! Farewell, hungry little No-Nos! Adieu, horrible clue writers! Yes, another season of Survivor comes to an end, and another American moron gets handed a million dollars for no good reason at all except the entertainment of the home viewing audience.

05.18.2002
05.25.2002
B-

admin

4-12
Recap

A Whole Lot of Fakin' Goin' On

A Tale Of Two Cities - This week on Survivor no one knows who's telling the truth and who's lying. Actually, everyone knows Kathy's lying, because she gets caught on tape. But they don't know that yet.

05.15.2002
05.18.2002
B+

admin

4-11
Recap

And That's That

Marquesan Vacation - Indeed, that's that this week as Robert -- the last remaining member of the Rotu alliance -- gets voted off. Also, Sean imitates Neleh in a delightful way, and Neleh may or may not procure an advertising contract with Disneyland. The chewed-up mint does not make an appearance, but Kathy's son Pat does.

05.08.2002
05.15.2002
C

admin

4-10
Recap

Clean for a Day

The Princess - Neleh and Paschal get to clean off all the dirt they've been rubbing into themselves for the past twenty-eight days. It's Vecepia's birthday, but she's not allowed to get clean. She misses Leander, who may or may not be her husband, but who does have a cool name. Then Robert wins immunity in a popcorn-popping challenge, and the others finally get a chance to send Tammy Stiltwalker home.

05.01.2002
05.07.2002
B-

admin

4-9
Recap

A Roll in the Sand

Two Peas In A Pod - Paschal and Sean win this week's reward challenge and roll around in the sand. It isn't quite dancing but still...it's a good thing Sean's of age, otherwise Paschal would be quite the hypocrite. Later, Tammy wins her second straight immunity challenge, and Zoe -- who smirks and talks about herself in the third person -- gets voted out. Bet she doesn't "dig" that.

04.24.2002
05.01.2002
A+

admin

4-8
Recap

I'll Show You Mine, If You Don't Show Me Yours....Again.

Look Closer: The First 24 Days - If you missed the first eight episodes, it's entirely your fault! Watch the previouslys! Read the recaps! Why should you be rewarded for your lack of attentiveness? Why should you get a "special" clips show? Go ahead and revel in Sean's first tongue wag and Kathy's continual belly flopping, while meanwhile, the loyal Survivor viewing audience endures yet another "special" episode of "highlights" and "never-before-seen" nothings. Because they're not highlights, and we've seen them all before! Do we have "stupid" written on our foreheads?

04.29.2002
04.30.2002

admin

4-8
Recap

A Loverly Bunch of Coconuts

Jury’s Out - Although Robert, Paschal and Sean could hardly be described as "lovely," they're definitely part of a great big bunch of coconuts. Mounds and Almond Joy really missed out on the sponsorship deal. Also this week: Sean farts a lot.

04.17.2002
04.24.2002
A

admin

4-7
Recap

Yor-icky!

True Lies - Maraanu finds a skull in their camp, and we're spared Hamlet-related comparisons...until now, that is. The tribe concludes that the skull's original owner suffered a "blunt trauma," resulting in a skull fracture, most likely from being hit over the head so many times by falling anvils. Or Mark Burnett. Next week, they find a dead, beaten horse.

04.10.2002
04.17.2002
B+

admin

4-6
Recap

No One Told Me There'd Be Bean Salad!

The Underdogs - Maraanu wins the lamest food reward yet: Sierra Mist and bean salad. For once, we're spared the resulting crappage, but the members of the other tribe sure talk about it enough. Also, John brandishes a knife at Rob, but fails to make contact thereby ensuring the intact status of his kneecaps...at least for this week.

04.03.2002
04.09.2002
A

admin

4-5
Recap

Where's the Love?

The End Of Innocence - The self-proclaimed "Love Tribe" isn't feeling it this week as John deems Gabe untrustworthy, and rallies the other members to vote Gabe's Moppet ass out. Maraanu revels in its first and second victories, because what the tribe lacks in brains, wit, foresight, skill, ingenuity, talent, people skills, strategy, and just about every other positive attribute you can think of, they make up for in heart. Or so we're supposed to believe, anyway.

03.27.2002
04.02.2002
B

admin

4-4
Recap

I Said That Time May Change Me, But I Can Change Tribes

The Winds Twist - Rotu and Maraamu turn and face the strain this week as Peachy shakes up the tribes and then pretends it doesn't matter. The S13, however, are immune to his consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through: ch-ch-changes!

03.19.2002
03.25.2002
B+

admin

4-3
Recap

No, We're Never Gonna Survive, Unless We Get a Little Lazy

No Pain, No Gain - The majority members of Maraamu don't want to be told to do any work, and they don't want to be asked to do any work, either. They don't seem to mind talking about work, but other than that they don't want to have anything to do with work, period.

03.12.2002
03.19.2002
B+

admin

4-2
Recap

Throw Momma from the Tribe

Nacho Momma - Amazed to have lasted through one Tribal Council, Patricia gets cocky this week. And a cocky Patricia is not a pretty Patricia. Not that a non-cocky Patricia is a pretty Patricia either, particularly one requesting an application of sunscreen to her armpits.

03.06.2002
03.12.2002
B

admin

4-1
Recap

Sixteen Strangers, Two Giant Boobs, and One Just Peachy

Back To The Beach - Or maybe it's sixteen giant boobs, but the vote is still out on that one. After all, Robert and Vecepia seem tolerable, and Rob's kind of funny if you overlook the fact that it's not politically correct to laugh at the mentally handicapped. And then there's interesting Zoe, and Gina who seems harmless enough, and of course the wonderful-by- virtue-of-age-alone Paschal. Which leads directly to the conclusion that there's something seriously different about this fourth season of Survivor: they don't all suck. Not yet, anyway.

02.27.2002
03.06.2002
B+

admin

3-15
Recap

Crap from Africa

Back from Africa - The S16 may be back from Africa, but the clips are still there.

01.16.2002
01.27.2002

admin

3-14
Recap

Reunited and It Feel So...Well, Okay

Africa Reunion - The S16 are together again before we even had the chance to miss them. But for those of you who've been hanging on patiently all season long...Rudy!

01.09.2002
01.22.2002
B

admin

3-13
Recap

Fallen Comrats

The Final Four: No Regrets - No one calls anyone a rat in the final Tribal Council, but maybe that's because all the rats ended up on the jury.

01.09.2002
01.16.2002
B-

admin

3-12
Recap

It Was Just My Machinations Runnin' Away With Me

Truth Be Told - All anti-Lex Loser plotting is shot to hell this week as he wins yet another immunity challenge. Teresa then gets crafty -- and she gets around -- as she tries to save her own ass by convincing the other members of the Boran alliance that Tom was playing them.

01.02.2002
01.09.2002
B-

admin

3-11
Recap

Heffalumps and Wildebeests

The Big Adventure - Like Pooh and Piglet -- except nothing like Pooh and Piglet, other than in fatness and smallness -- Big Tom and Lex Loser head off to discover new and exciting African animals. During their travels they encounter a good meal, a balloon ride, six bottles of Jack Daniels, and a kill. Hurrah!

12.26.2001
01.07.2002
B-

admin

3-10
Recap

To the Victor Go the Spuds

We Are Family - Kimp can't talk through mouthfuls of ice cream sundae, and Ethan settles for a bowl of chocolate syrup in the Survivor auction. And then, in what is likely the best reward of all time, mashed potatoes are served!

12.19.2001
12.27.2001
B-

admin

3-9
Recap

Out in Africa

Dinner, Movie And A Betrayal - Frank and Brandon win a movie date wherein Brandon enjoys Robert Redford and Frank enjoys Robert Redford's big guns.

12.12.2001
12.19.2001
B

admin

3-8
Recap

Snake and Rat Redux

Smoking Out The Snake - Lex hunts for vermin but catches something more catty than ratty, more Kelly than smelly.

12.05.2001
12.12.2001
C+

admin

3-7
Recap

Clips Show or Freak Show?

Look Closer: Survivor Africa - The contestants' hidden psychoses are revealed this week after twenty-one days in Africa. Frank plays with deer antlers! Clarence likes to wear makeup! Tom dresses up in women's pantyhose! Well, he doesn't. Not in this episode, anyway.

11.28.2001
12.05.2001
F

admin

3-7
Recap

Survivor: The Musical

Will There Be A Feast Tonight? - This week's episode has everything you could ask for from a musical production: singing, dancing, and a reenactment of the crucifixion. And don't forget the pooping animals!

11.21.2001
11.27.2001
B-

admin

3-6
Recap

Don't Count Your Eggs Before They're Not Laid

I’d Never Do It To You - Boranew wrestles with the issue of which to eat first: the chicken or the egg. Clarence can't stop talking about food, which surely should please his tribemates, who are trying not to think about the subject. At Sambutwo, the whine continues to flow.

11.14.2001
11.20.2001
B

admin

3-5
Recap

When a Woman Has a Trouble With Her Butt...

The Twist - Lindsey gets a tick stuck on her butt this week, and Tom is all too eager to help with its removal. Sure, it's skeevy, but it's funny too.

11.07.2001
11.14.2001
A

admin

3-4
Recap

Cape (Buffalo) Fear

The Young And Untrusted - This week, the Boran tribe has a little run-in -- sans the running -- with a cape buffalo. The cape buffalo stares at them really hard, and then they walk away. At a Samburu Tribal Council, Just Peachy gets his full-fledged bitch on. Maybe he wants a job as a Mighty Big TV writer?

10.31.2001
11.06.2001
B-

admin

3-3
Recap

Thongs, Schlongs, and Happy Songs

The Gods Are Angry - Boran shows off their fine and not-so-fine physiques, their ability to spontaneously produce festive music, and their lack of decent underwear. Samburu, meanwhile, shows off their complete lack of redeeming qualities. Stick a feather in your ass, and come join in the fun.

10.24.2001
10.30.2001
C+

admin

3-2
Recap

Blood: It Does a Body Good

Who's Zooming Whom? - This week, the tribes drink cow blood for immunity. As if the blood of sacred cow isn't reward enough!

10.17.2001
10.21.2001
C+

admin

3-2
Recap

Blood: It Does a Body Good

Who’s Zooming Whom? - This week, the tribes drink cow blood for immunity. As if the blood of sacred cow isn't reward enough!

10.17.2001
10.21.2001
C+

admin

3-1
Recap

The Bean Scene

Question Of Trust - Clarence opens a can of beans without permission, and the Boran tribe gets into a big stew over it. Meanwhile at Samburu, Lindsey finds herself -- momentarily -- up the creek without a tampon. It's all about the tamponos.

10.10.2001
10.17.2001
C+

admin

2-17
Recap

Countdown or Smackdown?

Countdown To Africa - Alicia's "I will always wave my finger in your face!" exclamation has warped the space-time continuum as we are forced again and again to watch this clip in various shows. Why does Mark Burnett want to punish us so much?

10.03.2001
10.13.2001
C+

admin

2-16
Recap

Survivor II: The So-So and Most Mediocre Moments!

Survivor Season 2 The Australian Outback: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments - When you think it's over, it goes on. And then there's even more.

08.31.2001
10.11.2001

admin

2-15
Recap

Rudy! Rudy!

Back From The Outback - If you're looking for Mackenzie Astin, a football, and raging Notre Dame fans, you're at the wrong site...but if you were hoping for a little Talking Rudy Doll, you're in luck. He doesn't say much, but what he does say says it all.

05.08.2001
05.16.2001
B

admin

2-14
Recap

Hallmark Schmallmark

Australia Reunion - Hallmark's not getting a dime from Kel this year, who won't be sending Jerri a Christmas card. Alicia's not sending Kimmi a Christmas card either, but it's all good.

05.09.2001
05.09.2001
B-

admin

2-14
Recap

R-E-F-L-E-C-T -- Take Care, TCB!

The Most Deserving - The S3 reflect this week about their Survivor experiences. Next, they reflect some more, and then they vote off Bozo the Keith. The S2 go on to reflect about being in the final two and voting off Bozo the Keith, and then the jury shows up and makes them reflect some more. After much reflection, Tina wins the title of "Soul Survivor." Further reflection ensues.

05.02.2001
05.07.2001
B-

admin

2-13
Recap

A Cowboy, a Clown, and Two Third Graders...

The Final Four (Australia) - ...walk into a bar. Actually, just the clown walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch." Later, he combs his beard hair. A lot.

04.25.2001
05.01.2001
C-

admin

2-12
Recap

Fire and Rice

Enough Is Enough - Fire and Rice / Some say the world will end in fire, / Some say in rice. / From what I've tasted of desire / I hold with those who favor fire. / But if it had to perish twice, / I think I know enough of hate / To know that for destruction rice / Is also great / And would suffice.

04.18.2001
04.24.2001

admin

2-11
Recap

Gag Me With a Spoon(ing)

No Longer Just A Game - There's much cause for valley girl-esque exclamation this week as Barramundi's camp floods and Lamber gets voted off. Aaaahhhh Maaaahhhhh Gaaaaaaah!

04.11.2001
04.18.2001
B-

admin

2-10
Recap

Oh, Bucket

Let's Make A Deal - The S7 have squandered their food supply and this week are forced to barter with Peachy for some rice he's been keeping warm for them...by sitting on it. Yummy! There's no reward challenge this week -- but there is a prize, anyway, that makes good use of Barramundi's latrine. Further scatology ensues.

04.04.2001
04.09.2001
C+

admin

2-9
Recap

Hellbent

Honeymoon Or Not? - This week on Survivor Satan gets unexpectedly called back home.

03.28.2001
04.03.2001
A+

admin

2-9
Recap

I Would Not Survive

I Would Not Survive - Jessica stands in line for eight hours to try out for S3, and learns that she's not cut out to rough it.

04.02.2001
04.02.2001

admin

2-8
Recap

Clip Gyp

The First 24 Days: A Closer Look - If you spent the first half of the season watching Friends and clinging to the false hope that that was just a friendly and helpful dolphin over which the show jumped, this is the episode for you. For the rest of the audience, know this one very important thing: Colby snores.

03.20.2001
03.27.2001
D+

admin

2-8
Recap

If you love something, set it free

Friends? - If it returns to you over and over and over again, it's a boomerang. Or Lamber.

03.13.2001
03.19.2001
B-

admin

2-7
Recap

Will you please be quiet, please?

The Merge - Kimmi's big mouth leads to a tribal council that may be Kucha's downfall. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing -- shut up, Kimmi!

03.07.2001
03.12.2001
B-

admin

2-6
Recap

Well, hello there, Mr. Goodbar

Trial By Fire - Jerri and Lamber talk about chocolate and sex. Then they talk about chocolate and sex again. Later, they talk some more about chocolate and sex. And then there's all that shrieking and yelling about chocolate and sex. Lamber almost eats a backgammon chip and Jerri says the words "hot dude's bod" causing television sets across the continent to explode. Even those fancy digital ones.

02.28.2001
03.06.2001
B+

admin

2-5
Recap

Talk to the Finger!

The Gloves Come Off - This week at Kucha, Alicia gives Kimmi the finger -- the index finger. Much shouting and bitchery ensues. Kucha wins some toiletries, prompting Kimmi to grope herself on camera. Jerri gets some funky little glasses, and Ogakor finally wins a challenge.

02.21.2001
02.27.2001
C+

admin

2-4
Recap

It's Hard To Be Brave When You're A Very Small Animal

The Killing Fields - And are being stalked in your debatably (un)natural habitat by a psychopathic motivational speaker. Oh, dear! Oh, dear, oh, dearie, dearie, dear!

02.14.2001
02.20.2001
A+

admin

2-3
Recap

Bam!

Trust No One - Keith kicks it up a notch this week by gutting, filleting, and preparing the team's catch for the Ogakor Fish Fry. The other team members take copious notes. No one thanks God for the meal, or for making them leader of the tribe. At Kucha, this little Mikey wants roast pig.

02.07.2001
02.12.2001
B-

admin

2-2
Recap

Grass Jerri's Ass!

Suspicion - The S15 eat worms, brains, grubs, tripe, grasshoppers, and other aboriginal foods. Then they're subject to the ultimate in terror as they fall prey to a batch of poorly prepared rice! A tortilla-making hero comes to Ogakor's rescue, but not in time to prevent one of their very own from the worst betrayal of all: eating grass and apologizing for it.

01.31.2001
02.05.2001
C-

admin

2-1
Recap

First They Were Afraid!

Stranded - They were petrified! To think that they could never live with Kimmi by their sides! And then they spent a couple nights listening to her go on and on and they were wrong! And now it's Debb Eaton who's gone!

01.27.2001
01.31.2001
C+

admin

1-18
Recap

Striking It Rich a Second Time

Survivor Season 1: The Greatest And Most Outrageous Moments - Didn't get to rehash your memories of the first Survivor season enough last fall? Well, the Survivor DVD is out, and it's got more curse words than an episode of the Chris Rock Show. And Richard's naked, uncensored ass. Watch it if only for that reason.

01.27.2001
01.27.2001
C+

admin

1-16
Recap

Burnett's Book of Love

Burnett's Book of Love - Wing Chun obtains a copy of the Survivor book and reviews it, two whole days before its official release date. (And you had better believe she's doing Rich's fire dance over this once-in-a-lifetime score.) Get the scoop!

09.09.2000
09.09.2000
B

admin

1-15
Recap

Reunion

Reunion - After a thrilling season and an incendiary season finale, CBS reverts back to its Old Fogie formula to bring us a reunion special hosted by Bryant Gumbel that brings new meaning to the word "turgid."

08.22.2000
09.07.2000
D+

admin

1-13
Recap

Endgame

The Final Four - The last four contestants compete in a long episode that tests their ability to stand and their ability to remember boring details about others. It's not exactly the larvae-eating challenge in terms of excitement. Kelly proves that she's a trouper, but Rich shows why he got to where he is. And Sue gives the bitterest speech delivered since the days of Nixon.

08.22.2000
08.29.2000
A

admin

1-12
Recap

Here's Mud In Your Lies

Death Of An Alliance - We see Sue and Kelly lose their budding Sapphic friendship. And then we see Sean's dumb ass get voted off (at the reunion special, he's the one who'll be asking, "Wait...you mean I didn't win a million dollars? Then who did I vote for?").

08.15.2000
08.15.2000
B

admin

1-11
Recap

Ship Of Fools

Long Hard Days - Colleen's scabrous, leprous, unglamorous, Tyrannosaurus-textured legs get a close-up, a premonition of her getting scratched off the island later on. The weather acts up, but the six Survivors act worse. Sean wins a night on a yacht with his dad and a masseuse; Kelly wins the immunity challenge; island cutie Colleen's luck finally runs out. (Deep breath.) Prepare yourselves. It's penultimate Survivor time.

08.08.2000
08.08.2000
D

admin

1-10
Recap

Chicks, Hicks, Dicks, and Tricks

Crack In The Alliance - One castaway wins a night of luxury on a yacht. Sue gets pissed off, maybe more so than usual.

08.01.2000
08.01.2000
B

admin

1-9
Recap

Oh, What a Tangled Web They Weave

Old And New Bonds - Talking Rudy Doll burns the S8's fish dinner, and Rich pouts about it. Kelly conveniently sprouts a conscience. Jenna goes home to her beauties...and her local cosmetics counter.

07.25.2000
07.25.2000
B

admin

1-8
Recap

So That's Where He Gets It From...

Thy Name Is Duplicity - Greg cuts his play kitten loose and moves on to bigger things. And we do mean "bigger." Peachy revels in Jenna's bad news while Greg's sister reveals the deep dark secret of the Buis family, causing the other castaways to writhe in horror and then vote him out.

07.18.2000
07.18.2000
B

admin

1-7
Recap

Merger Day Massacre

The Merger - The tribes merge. Idiot Seanvant and Jenna get bored playing ambassador and start a healthy game of doctor. Pagong joins Tagi at their beach, Greg holds his breath for a long time, and Gretchen's farewell breaks our hearts.

07.11.2000
07.11.2000
B

admin

1-6
Recap

On the Verge of the Merge

Udder Revenge - On the verge of the merge, Gervase makes an upsetting cow-ment, but Joel takes the fall. Tagi continues its plotting to rule the world. Or at least to rule its twenty-by-twenty-foot stretch of beach.

07.04.2000
07.04.2000
B

admin

1-5
Recap

Row, Row, Row Your Dopes!

Pulling Your Own Weight - Gervase throws all laws of God and nature into chaos when he actually contributes to his team's effort. Colleen and Greg auditioned for He Said, She Said II: Island Boogaloo. Dirk bangs his Bible all the way back to Wisconsin.

06.27.2000
06.27.2000
B-

admin

1-4
Recap

Bungle in the Jungle

Too Little Too Late? - Gervase reveals that he runs as well as he swims. Richard gets sneaky at Tagi. Sue jumps on board Richard's alliance, and Kelly comes sniveling after. Ramona quits her moaning. For good.

06.20.2000
06.20.2000
B+

admin

1-3
Recap

Just Parashoot Me

Quest For Food - Susan snits and Rudy prances. Dirk doesn't want to play; he just wants to bang on his Bible all day. The Pagong tribe gets down and dirty while a personal flotation device does little to prevent Gervase from almost drowning. Stacey snarks herself right off the island, leading an exodus of other rats and assorted nasty creatures.

06.13.2000
06.13.2000
B-

admin

1-2
Recap

And They're Chock Full of Protein!

The Generation Gap - B.B. gets the boot. Stacey continues her war against Rudy. Colleen and Greg get friendly -- but not in a homosexual way, that's for sure. Sean refuses to speak in coherent sentences.

06.06.2000
06.06.2000
B+

admin

1-1
Recap

Quest for Fire

The Marooning - "From this tiny Malaysian fishing village, these sixteen Americans are beginning the voyage of a lifetime."

05.30.2000
05.30.2000
B+

admin

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