Survivor

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Gabon Again

Back from commercial, it's time to find out who won the Product Placement Player of the Season $100,000 prize, as voted on by the viewers, the majority of whom are idiots. See previous prize winners James and James for proof of that. This year is no different, as the top three are Matty, Sugar, and Bob. Where's Crystal? Or Ken? At least he played the game, unlike Matty! I am happy to see that Marcus didn't make it, though. Sugar looks very nervous here, because apparently this, and not the million dollars, was the prize she was hoping to get. Probst says Matty came in third, so it's between Sugar and Bob. Probst points out that the audience seems to like Sugar more than her fellow contestants did, but ... they liked Bob better. He wins another $100,000 and looks positively gobsmacked about it. Probst yells at him for having no reaction to this and asks him if it's a compliment that he not only wins the game, but is also so popular that people at home want him to have even more money. Except that when the voting happened, he hadn't won the game and still didn't seem to have much of a chance to make the Final Three. Probst sits next to Bob and answers for him obnoxiously while Bob just nods along with his mouth hanging open. Sorry we can't all be experienced Emmy-winning hosts like you, Probst.

Probst turns to Matty and asks him about his fiancée and the wedding plans. We get a shot of Matty's fiancée in the audience, and Matty says they're still engaged and have set a wedding date. And apparently he's too busy planning it to care what he wears on TV, because what's the deal with the yellow T-shirt? He says the game might not have gone how he wanted it to, but he was able to succeed in committing to his girlfriend and that's more important. He also bought her a real ring to replace the one he made for her in Gabon.

Let's talk to Paloma for three seconds. She says this show made her a better, stronger person. Probst turns to Kelly and asks her what she got from the show. Kelly says she was surprised not to be able to get along with everyone and to be surrounded by people she didn't like and who didn't like her and who thought she was the least valuable member of their tribe. She says she's grown and appreciates things a lot more. Hopefully one of those things is a dictionary. But I have hope for Kelly. Unlike Corinne, she seems to have decided to learn something from her time on the show.

Probst asks GC what the deal was with him disappearing right before the challenge, calling GC "brother," because Probst is down like that. GC: "I was looking for a Popeye's or something out there." I can't decide if that's hilarious or just reconfirming all the racial stereotypes in Randy's mind. He says he was starving and looking for some food. Whatever, quitter. Poor, underused Jacquie. She claims that despite her short time on the show, it was the best experience of her life and she loved the opportunity to detox from technology and the modern world. And then Gillian the good sport claims that after applying for this show for years and years -- more than anyone else who was on this season -- her brief time on the show was still worth it.

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Survivor

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