Survivor

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Gabon Again

With that, Probst turns to Randy and kicks off the Randy montage. Randy insults people, those people tell the camera how much they hate him. Probst notes that the audience cheers for Randy while they booed Corinne. Well, that's probably because Randy is a man and Corinne is a woman. It might also be because Randy's older and sadder and has a lovable curmudgeonly vibe to him, while Corinne is scary in her immaturity and lack of empathy for her fellow humans. But I've decided it's because Randy reminds us all of our weird antisocial uncle who never makes it out of his cabin in the woods for family holidays, while Corinne reminds us all of the heinous bitch we stayed away from in gym class. Anyway, Randy has decided that he doesn't feel much like talking today, so he answers Probst's questions with as few words as possible. It's funny to watch him make Probst struggle. Randy says he's exactly how he was shown on TV. Probst asks him if he's always been like that, and Randy says he used to be fun, happy, likable, and even have girlfriends. The audience laughs, but Probst has to point out this isn't actually funny, since Randy isn't joking. "I haven't told a joke this entire season," Randy says, trying his hardest to stay deadpan. Probst says he wants to get underneath Randy's "veneer." Does he mean the white chiclets posing as teeth in Randy's mouth, or does he mean he wants to crack Randy's hard outer shell and find the lovable, yet hurt, man underneath? Either way, it's not going to happen, as Randy empathically states. He says you're either born with the ability to like him or you aren't. Everyone laughs, including Sugar, so maybe time has made her not hate him so much? I'll bet he still hates her just as much as he did when he left Gabon, though.

Probst asks Randy about his dog, his best and only friend for the last fifteen years. Except the dog's been dead for five years, so I don't think those five years really count. "He never cheated on me, never lied to me, never cried every day. He was awesome," Randy says. People are still laughing even though that's not funny. Probst points out that Randy had the second-highest IQ of all the contestants on their pre-show psych tests. Marcus, of course, had the highest IQ, which Probst says was "off the charts." This only tells me that this season's contestants had extremely low IQs, if Marcus's was the highest. I know he's a PHYSICIAN and all, but he really doesn't strike me as particularly intelligent. Perhaps if he spoke out of his mouth instead of his ass? I also demand to know who got the lowest score, but Probst won't say. He just says that he was surprised because Randy comes across as a "country guy" who "doesn't really know what's what." Uh ... how so? He never came across like that to me. He always struck me as intelligent (although not as intelligent as he thought he was) and self-aware. Randy's only explanation for the IQ test result is that the test "must be flawed," considering there's a whole bunch of "Einsteins" who did better than him in the game. Heh.

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Survivor

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