Probst talks to Danielle. The audience -- are they making horse sounds? That's not very nice. He asks her what happened at her last Tribal Council and why she broke down like that. Danielle is wearing, like, a sweater T-shirt and khakis. She couldn't dress up for this? She says that she felt a breakdown coming on after a very stressful day with Li'l Russell trying get her voted out, but she's a human being and she has emotions and she is not a villain. She says that, looking back on it now, she really thinks that if she had managed to keep it together, she wouldn't have been voted out and could have gone all the way to the end. But she didn't, so she has to move on. "Russell, damn you," she says. Probst asks Courtney if she had as much fun out there as she seemed, and if she had as much fun this season as her first one. He couldn't think of anything else to ask her? Really? She says she had "a lot of fun" and came out there planning to have as much fun as she could and enjoy it, and she did.
And then there's Randy, who never has fun. He shaved his head in preparation for the reunion show and looks scarier than ever. Probst asks him if he had fun this time. "No," Randy says. Probst then asks Sugar how she could go from making it to the end in her first season to being voted out first in her second. Sugar looks gorgeous, and says she didn't have fun because it rained so much and she didn't have a "decent alliance." She didn't have any alliance, did she? Before she can say something insane, Probst turns to Candice and says she postponed her wedding to be on this season, but she is now married. Hooray! Her last name is no longer "Woodcock."
Probst then reads off a bunch of statistics from 20 seasons of Survivor: 306 episodes, 15 countries, "over 300" contestants (way to not get an exact number), over 500 challenges, and 11 male winners and 9 female winners with an average age of 32. So they've created a Survivor prototype, by which they mean they did an "if they mated" for all 20 contestants and put them all together into one picture of a weird-looking guy who Probst says should consider applying for the next season of Survivor. That was stupid and wasted time we could have spent watching THE DRAGONZ perform. Probst takes us out to the break with a little remembrance montage for Jenn Lyon from the Palau season, who died earlier this year. She was just 37. Very sad. And the fact that they devoted about three seconds to this is pretty disgusting. She's the first contestant on this show to die, and at such a tragically young age. She really deserved better. And right after the "in memory" card fades out, I have to watch something congratulating Li'l Russell on winning Player of the Season, like, IS NOTHING SACRED?