Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
RUSSELL IS THE GREATEST PLAYER IN SURVIVOR HISTORY

Probst says they've been doing a stupid poll at the CBS site where viewers can vote for the dumbest move in Survivor history. Except not really, since we only get five choices and two of them are from the season that just happened and weren't really that dumb, I think. J.T. has a feeling he's going to win this, and asks if he'll get money for it. Probst says no -- in fact, he has to give some of his money back. Speaking of giving money back, shouldn't the dumbest move be Richard Hatch not paying taxes and then trying to make a joke out of it in federal court, thus getting him that harsh sentence of five years in jail? Because no matter what you think you can get away in the game and who you can pull a fast one on, everyone knows you can't do that with the IRS. Anyway, our nominees were Tyson, J.T., James when he was voted out holding two immunity idols, Colby for keeping Tina in the game and ultimately losing to her, and, of course, Erik from Season 16 for giving Natalie his immunity necklace. Erik is in the audience tonight, and he got a haircut! His Mohawk is kind of silly, but it still looks way better than that '70s androgynous teen idol shag he had going on during his season. He's actually cute! Even though Probst told us about each of the dumb moments, we have to watch footage of them again. How can they say that Colby's move was one of the dumbest ever when he said AT THE TIME that he knew exactly what he was doing and that he could lose the game because of it? Just because someone places less importance on money than whatever Colby's reason was for keeping Tina doesn't make him stupid. Anyway, the winner is clearly Erik, but the viewers voted for J.T., so whatever. He happily accepts his little wooden tiki idol trophy.

Back from break, we get a montage of James being an asshole, because that's something that Probst thinks we care about. Probst says James was both a surprise and a disappointment, as he got injured again and had to leave early but was surprisingly an asshole to everyone. Probst is concerned about James and his attitude this time around, saying he didn't appear to be having fun. James says he was having fun but it "didn't seem that way." He apologizes to his mother and says the cameras caught him at his worst moments. Probst says he thinks there's more to it than that, as he thought from day one that James was in a "bad mood." James won't tell him whatever it is that he wants to hear, just saying he's disappointed in his knee but okay with how he came off this season. Amanda decides to step in and say something in James's defense, but Probst cuts her off to talk to Rupert about his broken toe. Rupert immediately informs us that he actually broke two bones in one toe and one in another. Whatever, Rupert. I still don't think you're hardcore. Li'l Russell, meanwhile, appears to be trying to tell us (with his mic turned down, I believe) that it was just one toe. Rupert says he was afraid that the injury would get him voted out early on. I was hopeful of that. Sigh. Probst asks how he feels about the Heroes vs. Villains theme, and Rupert says he was one of the Heroes after stealing, lying and manipulating in his previous seasons, so that tells you what this game is like. Then he says he likes being called a "Hero," even though he kind of just said it didn't mean anything.

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Survivor

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