Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D | 1175 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
It Ain't Over Til The Fat Man Cries

Probst asks Shambo about her infamous hair as we see a picture of a young Shambo on screen. It's 1986 and Shambo is 22 years old and rocking the same mullet with headband look she has today. "Oh dear God," Shambo says upon seeing the picture. Probst asks her over and over again what year the picture was taken even though it says 1986 right there, so we have to hear not only the year but also where the picture was taken and what was going on at the time: she's in Okinawa, Japan, playing in a Marine Corps. softball game. What! So she did play softball after all? But she was so bad at any and all softball-related challenges! "Wow, 23 years?" Probst asks, even though he already knew this because he freaking asked her about it on the show two weeks ago. Shambo says her mullet actually started in 1984. But that means this year marked the 25th anniversary of Shambo's mullet! Surely they had a parade in Seattle to celebrate.

Probst then asks Shambo and Laura about their difficult relationship, which Probst claims was one of the most talked about this season. I guess it was, since there were no other relationships to really talk about. Shambo says that she and Laura are both independent and strong women, so they had to basically establish a pecking order from Day 1. Shambo illustrates this point by imitating a chicken, because that's what she loves to do. Laura seems to think that Shambo was saying that they actually did make chicken sounds and refutes this so that the audience may laugh at Shambo before saying that she thinks the root of her and Shambo's problems were that everyone on Galu thought that Grandma Laura was the strongest woman on their tribe and not Shambo the Marine. "I think that's probably kind of hard to hear," she says. Also, she had a maternal bond with the girls on their tribe while Shambo, being only half a woman with her non-child-havingness, did not. So basically, Shambo is being diplomatic and saying they're both proud strong women who each wanted to be in charge, while Laura is saying that Shambo, her womb barren, was jealous of Laura's awesomeness. Laura, you suck. Probst asks what their relationship is like today. "We've exchanged a few messages," Laura says. "WOW, that said everything," Probst interrupts, as if he really expects everyone on this show to be the best of friends afterwards like he was with Colby. Also Julie for a while. Laura and Shambo will never be friends but they did agree to forgive each other or whatever and that's that.

Probst asks Dave Ball if he was surprised at how quickly and deeply he bonded with some people. Dave Ball says it was shocking and that he feels like Brett, Kelly, and Laura are members of his family now. Thanks for that, Dave Ball. We'll talk to you never again!

Survivor

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