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It Ain't Over Til The Fat Man Cries

Probst brings up how Li'l Russell found the idol without any clues and how that seems so simple in retrospect but this was the first time anyone had ever done such a thing. Well, that's partially because the hidden immunity idol used to be on Exile where only a few select people even had access to it in the first place, but they didn't do that this year and hid them around camp instead. Li'l Russell figured out that if there was no Exile and there were still immunity idols in this game, then chances were pretty good that they'd be hidden at camp. And then he looked everywhere until he found them, which was easy since they weren't, say, buried twenty paces south of a large tree like in the past, but tucked away in the few landmark spots around camp. Li'l Russell claims that he looked for the idols for a long time, so it wasn't as instant or easy as it seemed on the show. Li'l Russell, still crying, says he takes this game very seriously and assumed the rest of the cast would, too, so they'd vote for the best player and he'd win the million. "But obviously not," he sob-sighs. Yes, well, if the other contestants had been playing the game as seriously as Li'l Russell, then he never would have made it that far in the first place. But since they were lazy idiots who didn't want to strategize or anything, he was able to get rid of them all quite easily. But that also meant that they'd vote like lazy idiots on the jury, too. If they weren't doing any strategizing of their own, what makes Li'l Russell think they'd respect someone who did? You can't have it both ways.

Probst decides to ask Li'l Russell about his "dumb-ass girl alliance" comment, pointing out that he has three women in his family to answer to on that front. Li'l Russell points out that he also has his mother, so it's four. Then he looks over at her in the crowd and smiles and he is endearing for half a second. Probst asks if he regrets the comments he made about women in light of that. Of course, Li'l Russell can't admit to being wrong about anything, so he says he has no regrets. Probst does not then take this opportunity to ask Li'l Russell about his Hurricane Katrina story, as that would make Li'l Russell look sort of irredeemable. He does point out that "one of those dumb-ass girls beat your ass." Natalie laughs, but makes sure to keep her eye on Li'l Russell just in case he tries to kill her.

And now it's time to meet Mrs. Li'l Russell. Is she his sister? They kind of look alike, especially since they're both wearing hats. Mrs. Li'l Russell is also wearing what appears to be a pleather jacket and her best bedazzled shirt. Probst asks her why she agreed to marry him. She says he's charming and despite his behavior on the show, "a great guy. And a great father. And I love him." The audience awws and Li'l Russell gets all teary-eyed, which he was already. Can we pay attention to someone else now please??

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