Survivor
Redemption Island Reunion

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True Love

Probst doesn't care either, and moves on to talk about another love affair between Survivor contestants and asks David for more information. Yes, David is now dating a contestant from a past season: Carolina from Season 18, who managed to be so freaking annoying that she was voted out even before that really annoying old lady. We see Carolina in the audience, and Probst asks if it was love at first sight. David says probably not, as Carolina apparently blew him off the first few times they met before, I guess, she realized he was a lawyer and decided to date him. He says that despite the rough start, things are going very well. "Yeah? All right," Probst says. Awkward pause. "How well is it going?" Probst asks. "It's going very well," David says. "Really?" Probst asks. "Yeah," David says. This is clearly leading to something, but David is obviously not making it easy for Probst. "Like 'very well' as in, 'gee, I'd like to maybe really make this official?'" Probst asks. "Yeah, I think that's kind of a good idea right now," David says as he gets up and walks towards Carolina, who doesn't look all that pleased about what seems to be happening. She's sitting right behind Amber, who gets to turn around and watch as David gets down on one knee and tries to propose to Carolina who, true to what little we know about her, talks all the way through his little speech. Finally he asks her to marry him and she says "shut the flipping front door" and comments on how this show is always blindsiding her. David's just kneeling there awkwardly, and she gives him her answer: yes, of course. She's not going to say no to the poor guy on national TV, even though it really looks to me like she'd like to. She takes the ring and they kiss, and then apparently she swore a lot so they had to bleep her. Thus ends one of the most awkward proposals I've ever seen. But I guess David couldn't resists emulating his personal hero Rob and proposing to a former contestant during the reunion show.

After the break, they freaking let Carolina sit on the stage next to David! What the fuck? She just got more camera time than most of the women who were actually on the show this season! Ugh. Probst tells the newly engaged couple to feel free to ask Rob and Amber for relationship advice later on, like Rob would deign to speak to lowly David. With that, we get our sneak peak at next season, which I'm looking forward to simply because it has to be better than this one was. Surely they won't make the mistake of having contestants return and a useless Redemption Island again, right? "Redemption Island: it was a twist that changed the game," Probst voiceovers; "and next season, Redemption Island is back." WHAT?!?!? WHY? Probst goes on to say that there will be sixteen new contestants in the "South Pacific" and "they will be joined by two returning players who are seeking their own shot at Redemption." Wow. I cannot believe they are going to do this again after it made for such a terrible and boring season. Do they really love some of the former contestants that much? And trust their new contestants to be interesting to the people at home so little? Hopefully, next season's cast will vote both of the returning players out immediately and they'll lose on stupid Redemption Island and that will be it. But they probably won't, because I'm sure the lazy terrible casting department is going to fill the tribes with a bunch of personality-free idiots who have never seen this show before. Can't wait! With that, Probst stumbles over his words when trying to invite us at home to send in audition tapes because he knows very well that this show doesn't cast anyone from those tapes anyway. He ends by saying that Diane Hardy told him off-camera that Phillip was definitely a Federal Agent, so "that case is closed." And so is this season! Let's hope the next one is much better ...

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Survivor

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