Survivor
Reunion

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Reunion

More dissemination and second-guessing and backseat island voting. Kelly is asked if she shouldn't have gone head-to-head with Rudy instead of Rich. She gives a convoluted explanation, but basically she was trying to avoid voting anyone off. Poor, victimized, traumatized Kelly. Here's $100,000. Go salve your wounds.

Rich is still rubbing Kelly's leg. What up with that?

Rudy is asked why he let the pole go, causing him to lose the immunity challenge against Rich and Kelly. He theorizes that he may have fallen asleep. We get a glimpse of Mrs. Rudy in the audience. The name is apt: She looks like Rudy in a wig and glasses. Rudy says his kids were disappointed. "They're probably at Gillian's," he begins, to which Bryant Gumbel starts laughing inexplicably. Hallucinogenics, much, Bryant?

Believe it or not, the rest of the reunion plays along just like this. Surreal moments mixed with talk-show cheesiness. Let's look at the highlights, shall we?

Sean reveals that being in the jury box and voting people out was "a downer."

Joel and Gervase are still accusing each other of being chauvinist pigs. (It's a close contest, but ultimately a draw, despite Gervase's protestation that he said the cow remark, "But Joel lives and breathes it.")

Sonja and B.B. are brought back in from the cold. Sonja reveals herself to be a quite elegant, classy and articulate lady. B.B. brays a lot.

Rudy is confronted about his attitude toward homosexuals and why he ultimately stuck with Rich (but not in that way). After being asked whether those experiences changed his view of homosexuals, he says, "Naaaaah," to laughter from Rich and the entire audience. Homophobia's funny, ya'll. "The reason I called him queer is so all my good SEAL team buddies could know what I'm talkin' about," Rudy says. Wisdom for the ages.

Survivor parties around the nation are shown. Bikinis abound.

Sean's application tape is shown, revealing him to be naked in the shower, acting silly, yet dumb.

Rudy reveals he's applied for Survivor II: "I'm gonna keep tryin' 'till I win." He is quickly becoming the audience favorite. Rich tries to stick up for him saying Rudy comes from a different generation. Bryant adds that Rudy gave forty-five years of service to his country. That would be the city and country of Crew Cut, Crotchetyville.

Ramona is asked about the odor on the island. She will forever be remembered as the grown-up version of the kid in elementary school who vomited on every bus trip. The consensus is that everybody stunk, but some people (like Ramona) minded it more than others (like Gretchen).

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Survivor

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