Survivor
Ruling The Roost

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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So Much For Muscled Entitlement

Previously on Hey, We Never Said It Was A LENGTHY Social Experiment: the four tribes were collapsed into two, and the new Raro gave a beating to the new Aitu in a sandbag-hauling, old-skinny-dude-rassling, walking-in-circles challenge that really played to Raro's knuckle-dragging strengths as a tribe and made all the women look like candy-asses, not that the latter is especially difficult. Facing the prospect of throwing someone off, Yul and a surprisingly non-annoying Jonathan scrambled to assemble an alliance including Becky, JessiFlicka, and Cao Boi -- plus an absent Candice, sent to Exile by Adam and Parvati, who may have been scheming, but may also have been merely saying the name of the only person they remembered. Yul and Jonathan's little team managed to get it together and gang up on the awesome Cecilia, which was too bad, given that she was...awesome, kind of, even though she aligned herself with Ozzy. Delightfully, it appeared as though Ozzy was successfully marginalized and will simply have to sit around and pick bugs out of his hair for the next lengthy interval. It appeared that Aitu was badly outgunned, and was on its way to a few weeks of ritual stomping before the merge, and it also appeared that we were going to have to tolerate a heck of a lot of footage of JessiFlicka talking about strategy, which was even more regrettable, since it resembles watching a sandwich do math.

After the "previously"s but prior to the credits -- which is a very unusual time for new footage -- we settle on a starry sky, and we learn that we are taking our post-tribal-council visit to Aitu on Night 8. ["WHAT?! I fast-forwarded through all of that on the assumption that it was part of the 'previously's! Damn you, Burnett, this isn't The Apprentice!" -- Wing Chun] A whole lot of rats are running around, so the wildlife population is basically rats and chickens, for those of you keeping score at home. It's a great opportunity to see animals you'd never see back home in your workaday life, unless you happen to work days at a KFC. Aitu returns from the tribal council in which Cecilia was booted and Ozzy was thwarted. One imagines that Jonathan is probably feeling pretty good, because this is the coolest thing he's done since he killed Bill Paxton and buried him in the tomato patch. Yul, on the other hand, still has a feeling that this should all be more like a team-building exercise and less like playing dodgeball in gym. "Oh, man, that sucked," Yul says of his own triumph. He may have a lot of degrees, but he totally sucks at gloating. "No matter how we sliced it, it was not going to be nice," Sundra tells him. I hope Yul doesn't keep doing this, because it does not endear you to people when you sit around feeling sorry for yourself about getting your way, even if you feel sincerely bad. Buck up, little camper! This is what it's like when things go well.

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Survivor

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